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-   -   am i in the wrong... (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f280-inlaws/1084046-am-i-wrong.html)

Queen Bre May 27th, 2008 01:44 PM

my in-laws are upset with me bcuz i wont let them babysit my daughter. they dont understand that they dont see her everyday, so she knows them as strangers. she cries everytime i leave her with them, even if i just go out of the room for a few minutes. whenever i do leave her with them, she always wakes up multiple times in the middle of the night. she only wakes up when i leave her with them.

SamuelsMommy May 27th, 2008 04:02 PM

You're in the right place! Welcome, I'm Stephanne the co-host of the ILs board.

I'm sorry you're having difficulties with this issue. You're the mommy so what you think is best goes! They need to understand that. If I were you, I would explain that they can definately spend more time with your daughter so that she gets to know them better and then when she is comfortable staying with them, you would be happy to let them babysit. She's at an age where unless things are familiar (and even sometimes when they are) she will have a hard time being apart from mommy. Good luck! Please come back often!

Queen Bre May 27th, 2008 04:37 PM

I have tried explaining that to them, and they always say "well you let your parents babysit". but again, they dont understand that we live with my parents and she sees them everyday. they were the kind of people to just let anybody watch their kids, im not like that and i wasnt raised that way. i try telling them if im not able to bring her over, someone in my family will bring her over for the day or they are more than welcome to come see her at my house, and they never want to.

SamuelsMommy May 27th, 2008 07:17 PM

Ah, yes, I understand when the ILs want exactly the same relationship your parents have with your child but can't! My parents make the effort, they drive 4 hours pretty much every other weekend to stay connected with my son. My ILs moved to AZ (we live in IN) when we got married and they visit every 3 or more months (they visited in March and aren't coming again until Aug) and my MIL just can't understand why he likes my parents so well! And why he doesn't know her. Another reason would be that my mom talks to him on the phone almost every day and my MIL never does! Nor do we have any pictures of them to put up etc. So I understand all that sooo well. At some point you've got to say that you're sorry, that's just the way it is. Repeat that they are welcome to invest more time in her life so she's not scared but until that point, be it they take the time or she's old enough not to be scared, you aren't leaving her with them. period. Sometimes it never gets through to them and you've just got to move on and deal with it. Good luck!

akka May 27th, 2008 07:50 PM

I'm pretty much in the same boat! I know how you feel and I agree with Stephanne. You're the mama! Whatever you say goes.

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