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-   -   MIL Vent It's a novel sorry (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f280-inlaws/2115535-mil-vent-its-novel-sorry.html)

esmama0924 September 27th, 2010 08:29 AM

MIL Vent It's a novel sorry
New to this board. I'm on the feb 2011 as well. i'm expecting a little girl 2/9/11 and I have a son who just turned 2.

So my MIL has always been "cheap" when it comes to gifts for our son and stuff like that. She called the other day for a consignment store asking if we wanted an out side kiddie picnic set for the backyard... I said no thanks... Husband ask why I wouldn't let her buy it, we had been talking about getting one for our son, i said that I didn't know what color or material it was or what condition it was in or if there were any safety recalls on it etc which was the truth. He wasn't happy but he kind of understood in a "my wife is so paranoid" kind of way lol. So Yesterday we celebrated our sons birthday with her. Weeks earlier she has asked what we wanted for him and we said he needed footy pjs because winter was coming and he is out growing the ones he has. We even explicitly asked that she NOT to buy him toys he literally has a ROOM full of toys he doesn't even care about she went ahead and bought him one anyway... It's some stupid bear that read these stories in THE MOST ANNOYING VOICE EVER... I've never heard of it so i googled it this morning... I can't find it anywhere I did how ever find out that it first came out in 1998... So my only assumption is she bought it at a consignment store or something along those lines which is extra annoying to me .... everything she buys him is from garage sales and thrift shops etc which is OK IF you take the time to really look at what you are buying... we have gotten shirts with stains, pants that the elastic is worn out of, soft toys that are just dirty and dingy looking, toys that just blatantly don't work the list goes on. So to me buying something you were asked not to for your grandson's birthday from a consignment shop is infuriating to me... She has money...she's just cheap when it comes to gifts... She has 2 houses and a brand new car she's not hurting for money trust me on that. When random gifts come his way i always expect them to be "crap" but seriously for his birthday you can't be bothered to get something nice for him.... I mean we didn't want toys in the first place but if she was going to get him one it could have been something better.... OH and we did get pjs ... not footy pjs like we asked and not even warm enough for winter.

I don't want this to come across as I'm stuck up or greedy I'm not at all BUT i don't want him to get crap gifts... I garage sale sometime when I have cash i'm not against it there are some really good finds out there. I'm not against that at all but i would never use that stuff for a birthday gift. Alot of my sons clothes when we came home from the hospital came from garage sales that my mom and I went to... i picked out the clothes that were in good quality etc. I tend to steer clear of toys lately because of all the recalls with lead paint and stuff ... and you never know how old they are. I also almost never buy plush from a garage sale... makes me nervous because if they have animals or something the dander stays forever and it's hard to wash stuffed animals and other plush things

MomtoKatieB September 27th, 2010 08:18 PM

Re: MIL Vent It's a novel sorry
The consignment sales here have strict requirements about the condition of the items and if they are not 'gently used' then they are not allowed to be in the sale. Sorry that your MIL gives those sorts of gifts.

AprylLynn October 1st, 2010 08:15 PM

Re: MIL Vent It's a novel sorry
that would drive me nuts to. i love shopping at those shops but i dont buy anything that looks like it didnt come off a rack in babys r us. stuffed animals and such i never take used cause of the dust and such that u can never wash out.
i would be really upset if my mil did that.

esmama0924 October 1st, 2010 08:21 PM

Re: MIL Vent It's a novel sorry
i expect thing like that from her for like random gifts ya know. But for a birthday she could a little more of an effort. AND the other grand kids always get nice stuff like for husbands nephews birthday he got all toy story stuff so why is our kid worth less? ... Husband doesn't see it as that but he gets treated like a second class citizen compared to his sister who is prefect and now our child is getting treated the same. I don't care how his family treats me but the way they treat him is horrible and I will not stand for my children being treated like that...

demumbran0516 October 5th, 2010 07:12 PM

Re: MIL Vent It's a novel sorry
I understand....my grandmother did the same thing to me...well both grandmothers do....My moms mom always gives me 20 dollars for Xmas but the other grandchildren get gift cards to dillards for a 100 dollars or new computers. My fathers mother gives me a stocking with smelly stuff (which always sticks) and candy. Hello, I know I am big but that's just crappy to just give me candy. Last year she gave my cousin a new car and his children tons of toys and clothes. She spent more on one outfit for his kid than she did my stocking. I know I saw the price tag still on it. Because of this I feel my grandmothers dont love me at all.

My dad bless his heart has stated that when she dies (I know horrible to say to your own mother) everything they (my parents) have given her comes right back to them and if they aren't around back to me. He said he would be d***ed if his nephews (same cousin) wife gets her grubby hands on the diamond neckless he gave her a few years ago.

Sorry to make this so long...I am sorry your MIL does this. I really hope your child is not affected the way I have been.

esmama0924 October 6th, 2010 07:40 AM

Re: MIL Vent It's a novel sorry
My kids ahve my parents as well as my husbands dad and step mom too. She is really only hurting herself when she does stuff that like... If he grows up indifferent to her that's on her I have never stopped my husband from taking my son to see her ... she burnt her bridge with me but i don't keep my husband from his family. We certainly aren't materialistic people and it's not about the gift or the cost of the gift it's about they fact that he's 2 she asked us specifically what we needed for him we told her and she went out and bought something we asked her not to and then didn't even get what we asked... it's not like we called her up and were like you have to buy him this for his birthday... if you don't want to get him something useful than don't ask what we need...

MomtoKatieB October 25th, 2010 08:06 PM

Re: MIL Vent It's a novel sorry
Amanda, I totally agree about it being her fault if he grows up being indifferent to her. DH's mom has not seen the youngest nephew (turned 3 in Sept) since a year ago in May and the last time she saw him she just yelled at him touching stuff that was down at his level. I mean 18 month old kids explore new places with their hands. . . duh! She was such a total witch to the older nephew (turned 10 in Sept) that she totally ruined last Christmas for everyone after she was the one who demanded everyone be there for like 12 hours. Katie as well as Zac will have no memories of her and the only memories Alex will have of her will be of a screaming old hag. DH's dad has never seen Katie and probably never will so he is out of the picture entirely.
DD has my parents who are awesome and several of my aunts and uncles who totally dote on her in addition to my sister, my cousins and their children (the next youngest to Katie is 14) who think Katie is absolutely perfect. So, she won't be lacking for family who adore her.
Didn't mean to hijack your post. Just wanted to let you know that I understand about messed up ILs.

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