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-   -   hey all, anyone else... (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f75-large-families/2585899-hey-all-anyone-else.html)

marlz_04 October 18th, 2012 07:19 AM

hey all, anyone else...
Not wantin but not ruling it out??

Well Im a mum of four, my kids are 7,5,2 1/2 and 1 1/2. Me and dh arent trying.. he says no more.. i even say it.. but some part of me still thinks about pregnancy, birth, the new born stage.. i always think maybe in 5+ years maybe.. dh still says no... but honestly i will miss not having a baby at home with me.. im going to be lost.. i just feel at the moment in the future i will want another.. Apart of me is happy with 4 though because my kids because the are healthy so im lucky, their alot of work and i worry about them all, cost alot for school..plus i lost 3ls of blood with 2 of my births.. so its risky.. i just dont know how to feel about it.

I just dont know how to feel.. cause if i was pregnant atm.. id totally freak out.. but in 5 years plus it would be ok.. but dh never wants anymore but wont get the snip lol.. so i have to freak out about protection. I did fall pregnant in march.. but i m/c at 6 weeks.. it was apperently my fault for not using it.. so i said to him if you dont want anymore kids and want to prevent it get snipped he said he would but never will. so atm we are using condoms..

UrbanMomma October 18th, 2012 08:08 AM

Re: hey all, anyone else...
My dh says no more, but doesn't like the way a vasectomy sounds after I read a description of the procedure to him, so he is a no go.

We are married so I am refusing to use condoms. I won't go on hormonal BC and the copper IUD isn't a good choice for me. My personal opinion is we are almost 40, how many more years do we really have to worry about it? 5? 6? So lets just go with the flow and what happens, happens.

He thinks we should avoid during my "fertile" time, and I won't trick him, but that's when I really, reallywant it. LOL So I guess if he chooses to pull out, then that's on him.

Farmers-wife October 18th, 2012 08:17 AM

Re: hey all, anyone else...
Yeah, that worked 1 month for me!

I am in complete agreement with um.

Repti.Mom October 18th, 2012 08:27 AM

Re: hey all, anyone else...
Condoms are too expensive to use if you're in a steady relationship IMO.

I have no problem with hormonal birth control, but no more depo ever. I have a less than 1 month old baby, but I always know I can't see myself not EVER being pregnant again. At least I feel that way for now.

I know DH doesn't want more, right now anyway. I can usually convince him otherwise. He always thinks that if we have more kids he'll have to get another job etc. Once you have as many as we do they don't really cost any additional money, besides food, but that's a year from birth anyway since breastmilk is free, So are cloth diapers (minus the startup cost of course). He also wants to be able to DO stuff while he's not ancient. He didn't get to do much in life, and I think he should be able to get out and experience things too, we will be doing lots of stuff this summer. Of course it's not IMPOSSIBLE to do things with a large family either, we just have 1 very difficult child and kinda avoid taking him places. Once we have a little more money when taxes come we'll have more $$ to drop him off at grandma's if we take long trips or anything ;)

Lark7911 October 18th, 2012 08:32 AM

Re: hey all, anyone else...
I'm new here, also a Mom of 4 (all girls, 5, 2.5 year old twins, and 1)

We always said we wanted four, then having twins fast forwarded us to our number...and after having our 4th all I've been able to think about was that I wanted a 5th! At first it was "maybe...in 5 years" kind of thinking. But it's become a much stronger feeling of definitely wanting another over that past year. DH however said no, done at 4. I've finally convinced him to consider it in a few years. We had a pg scare a couple months ago when my period was late, which freaked us both out about the timing, but confirmed my feelings that I really want a 5th...and DH even admitted that he was sad I wasn't pg, and that maybe he would like another in a few years.

So as of now we are saying no to anymore right now, but we will open up the discussion again in a few years (but secretly I'm saying i definitely want a 5th!)

HalfDozen October 18th, 2012 09:59 AM

Re: hey all, anyone else...
It has always been my husband pushing that he doesn't want more. Our 4th was agreed to be our last, but he was supposed to get snipped last December and didn't. Well, here we are again. I am terrible at taking birth control pills and had previously been on NuvaRing, but I can't be on that when I'm nursing. I've told him that if he doesn't want anymore, then HE needs to get snipped. I will have gone through labor 5 times, and I don't feel that I should have to do any more to "fix" the problem. ;-)

However, I do understand his concern. Our 4th was a particularly difficult labor and delivery, but I was induced early, and I really think neither she nor I were ready. It's the most difficult labor and delivery I've ever had, and she was born not breathing. I think my husband thought he was going to lose us both, and he can't stand that thought. Again, though, it's in his court to get snipped. I encouraged him to do it while I'm still pregnant this time, if that's what he wants.

Momtothe6thpower October 18th, 2012 01:01 PM

I guess I fall in the category of not wanting but not ruling out.

marlz_04 October 21st, 2012 07:15 AM

Re: hey all, anyone else...
every birth controll i have had so far make me sick, i bleed all cycle on and off and i get dizzy.. so i kinder hate the thought of it. I dont want to get my tubes tide either.. so yeh.. I am enjoyin being able to have time with dh without a baby next to us.. or crying through the night or swinging off my tit lol.. its good feeling like a person again.. but i love being a mother.. I just keep getting this feeling like id be sad if i never had another baby.. even though im content have the four i have atm..

Alison79 October 21st, 2012 01:10 PM

Re: hey all, anyone else...
I can completely relate. After #7 was born we mutually decided that DH would get a V. The morning it was scheduled I started having second thoughts. I didn't say anything because I thought it was normal to feel unsure/sad that this part of our lives were ending. Well, that feeling got 1000 times worse after it was done and after a lot of discussion we have decided to have it reversed early next year. We agreed that we didn't want a baby right now, but did want the option later on if we both. We are realistic that reversals don't always work, but it will give us a better chance than we have now.

One of our big reasons for getting the V was that condoms don't work for DH and I can't do hormonal BC. So, we are going to use a barrier method of some kind + spermicide. Not as effective, but if we end up with more kids we are both okay with that.

wishing October 21st, 2012 02:36 PM

Re: hey all, anyone else...
currently pregnant so I don't really know how I will feel after this baby is born. DH and I have talked about a V. We dont know for sure becauce we have also talked about having one more so I guess we will see after how we are feeling.

Mommytoeight2013 October 29th, 2012 05:27 AM

Re: hey all, anyone else...
I honestly can't see myself having anymore after this baby. MY last birth wasn't easy and didn't want to have anymore after Brianna. But, here we are anyways and very happy and excited. I'm not sure what we are going to do as far as in bc. I can't do hormonal bc at all makes me bleed all the time. And, I've never tried any barrier methods. I don't know maybe something I should talk with my dr about at my next appointment.

Rebelmommy October 29th, 2012 10:14 AM

Re: hey all, anyone else...
DH and I are on the "older" end of the spectrum (he is 46 and I am 38) so he feels that this should be our last, although I am not sure that i feel done. We will do the pull out method, as DH is still uncertain he wants the big V and is adamant that I not have a tubal and oral BC does not work for me at all, and he hates condoms.

I know they say that the pull out method is not really an effective method but until we planned this baby it has worked great for us, as my DS will be 7 in Dec!

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