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sarahlorrain July 25th, 2013 08:25 AM

How do you do bedtime at your house? Time? Routine? etc?

My kids are driving my husband crazy. Granted, he has a much shorter patience that I do, but he gets extremely frustrated at bedtime. The kids are told to get ready for bed, they head to their room to look for a toy. Last night I finally had to just take Ryan by the arm and physically deposit him in the bathroom and hand him his toothbrush.

We finally get everyone in bed, go lay down and David starts screaming for me. Dh says "I do not want any more kids, we can't even get these ones to go to bed at night." :(

Part of the problem is I know we need to get in bed at 9 (all of us, not just the kids), but dh always wants to watch tv until 9 and then expect the kids to jump up, brush their teeth, and get in bed. It doesn't work like that! I can't even get ready that fast, I have to take off my jewelry if I wore any, brush my teeth, wash my face, take out my contacts, potty, take vitamins, change the baby. Plus, I have to make sure the kids brush their teeth, dh will "forget" so that we can get to bed sooner. :/

I think our biggest problem is that we will get the kids in bed, leave the room to get ourselves ready, turn around and the kids are out of bed again. :mad: I expect it out of David, but not the older three!

Any tips?

Farmers-wife July 25th, 2013 08:42 AM

Re: Bedtime
I would start at seven with baths, Jammie's, teeth. Then watch tv, then in bed for a story at 8:30. Story, prayers, lights out at 9. If anyone gets up, spank.

The tv right up to bedtime is not good. It is bad on the eyes and the brain.

We do it pretty much like that. Dh gives baths to 7&9, then 6&8. Then we tell 4 and 5 to take showers either together or separately. While he bathes the littles, I get jammies ready and dress them as they come out. Then they run around steaming until 4,5 are out and dressed, then they all get in their beds. Dh reads to them, I go pray for them. We start the process after dinner/dessert. The time on the clock doesn't matter to me.

Jenilope July 25th, 2013 09:27 AM

Re: Bedtime
We start earlier, too.

If we're not having a family dinner (lately we haven't because I haven't been feeling good) I let them watch a show on netflix on the computer in the kitchen while they eat their dinner around 6:30.
At 7 they all go take a shower. Between 7:20 and 7:30 they're out and we help them into pjs.
Then DH takes them down to their floor to brush teeth. "baby" (I've got to stop calling her that, she's nearly 2!) gets 3 stories, prayer and put to bed with her sound machine on and door closed.
The "big kids" (3.5 and 5) like to sleep in the same bed. Depending on what is going on the next morning, they either get movies or stories in bed. Stories result in them getting to sleep faster, so in the school year they get 3 stories, prayers, just like the baby, and then go to sleep. Although one of us does have to sit there for 10-20 minutes rubbing Evelyn's back after stories or she won't go to sleep. Which is annoying, but also done by 8. On movie night, they'll stay in bed, because they know how to change the movie themselves, they usually fall asleep during the first one, and they know if they come down more than once we're taking away the movies and locking them in. We make their movie night our date night since we don't have to sit and wait for them to fall asleep.
Most nights, everyone is asleep by 8 so DH and I get some time alone together to watch adult shows on TV or talk or eat the good chocolate before we need to turn in. On the nights that something goes awry and they go to bed late, I definitely feel cheated of my time alone, so I can understand your hubby's frustration. I will say just turning the knobs around on the doors so the kids knew we COULD lock them in if they didn't stay in bed helped a ton. Most nights, DH does teeth through putting them to bed on his own lately, since I'm going to be nursing a newborn soon, and he's gotten pretty darn good at it, which makes me grateful. I hope you guys can find some easy tweaks to your routine to make it better for all of you.

UrbanMomma July 25th, 2013 11:18 AM

Re: Bedtime
We start bedtime around 7 ish too. Baths if they need them, pj's, a little tv, at 8-830 they are in the bed. Kya goes upstairs by herself and gets in bed around then and goes to sleep. Canaan is usually asleep and goes up shorty thereafter.

The younger boys fall asleep on their own, the middles are allowed to stay up, in their rooms, until 9:30 then lights out. I don't enforce a bedtime for the teens during the summer, as long as they are quiet after others are in bed.

I think starting earlier will work for you, and at least a loose routine.

sarahlorrain July 25th, 2013 01:10 PM

Re: Bedtime
So what do you ladies do when they get back out of bed?

So far, yelling to GET BACK IN BED!!! isn't working so well for us. :P

Jenilope July 25th, 2013 01:18 PM

Re: Bedtime

My "baby" can't get out, she's still in a crib. The older two get walked back up to bed twice. If they get out a 3rd time they get locked in (there is a bathroom in their room.) And, if it's movie night, they lose their movie, if it's not movie night and they get locked in 2 times in one week they lose their movie privilege.

I also give them a dum dum lolipop in the morning if they stay in bed all night to help motivate them. (Breakfast of champions, no? lol) It worked for my oldest, she only gets one now if she specifically asks for it, once they've developed a habit of doing it, I slowly dial back the rewards, just like with potty training.
We also talk about all the fun things we won't be able to do if Mommy is too tired because they were up too late.

UrbanMomma July 25th, 2013 01:51 PM

Re: Bedtime
I don't have many issues with them getting back up. Once they are supposed to be in bed, they pretty much stay there.

mom2many2010 July 25th, 2013 02:54 PM

Re: Bedtime
Kailyn (3) laid down at 7, most of the time she passes out. She's up by 6 and not allowed to nap, so she'ready 90% of the time. If she puts up a fight I just keep laying her down until she does fall asleep.

Aiden (6) get's melatonin at 7:30, he's to much like me and can't shut his brain down, he is also unmedicatated ADHD and is out like a light by 8:30. If it wasn't for the melatonin he doesn't fall asleep till midnight and is up at 6. It made for very long days with him.

Cole (12) and Vanna (9) get ready at 8:30, and head down shortly their after. They are not required to go to sleep, just stay in their rooms and be quite. They have TV and the x-box. Once school starts it will be lights out by 10. Sometimes they take melatonin if they are having a hard time falling asleep. I leave that up to them.

Farmers-wife July 25th, 2013 04:13 PM

Re: Bedtime
I will spank them.

mom2many2010 July 25th, 2013 04:22 PM

Re: Bedtime
FW I will too, but only after the 3rd strike. Usually just the threat of it is enough.

Farmers-wife July 25th, 2013 04:38 PM

Re: Bedtime
Yeah I hardly ever actually do it, but they know I will.

mom2many2010 July 25th, 2013 05:52 PM

Re: Bedtime
The 'look' works a lot also, but sometimes they give me the 'look' and I know it's gonna be a bumpy ride lol

Farmers-wife July 25th, 2013 07:16 PM

Re: Bedtime
All my talk! I have one standing in the hall with his nose on the wall right now.

anexia July 25th, 2013 07:53 PM

Re: Bedtime
We usually only have to crack down when we first put them in a big kid bed. After that, they stay in bed. Sometimes they call us back, but if they do that too much they loose morning cartoons. I will admit that the twins have really complicated bedtime. Since we moved them out of cribs, they play in bed for a long time. We have thought about separating them but I think it would be traumatic.

We do bed really early in the school year. The younger 4 go to bed at 6. My 9 yr old goes to bed around 7:30 and my 15yr old about 9(she has early classes). In the summer its all over the place, depending on what we are doing. If we want to watch a movie until bedtime, we have them ready for bed before we turn it on.

We are pretty serious about bedtime. It is exhausting enough without the kids misbehaving. Plus, we can't afford babysitters, so that is our only alone time.

Counting our Blessings July 26th, 2013 02:06 PM

Re: Bedtime
Ha FW! That's to funny.

We are a late night family, most kids aren't in bed until 930-1000. I'm not sure why, we just are. We have a routine that we start about 730-800. Come in from outside, tub/shower, 30 minute show, Bible reading, snack, teeth, bed. That's it. My hubby is working evenings as well as days (lucky me!), but that's is what keeps my sanity...routine.

I had to laugh about hubby "forgetting" teeth, my hubby is the same way!

Christina642 July 26th, 2013 02:38 PM

Re: Bedtime
My older two kids I tell them it's almost bedtime to go brush your teeth and get your JJ's on. They do that then off to bed they go. My 5 year old is Autistic and well you can't really tell him what to do. So he will just lay on the couch till he falls asleep. He very rarely sleeps in his own bed. And 6 our of 7 days he still wakes multiple times a night. My 2 year old bed time what is that. He picks his own bed time. He is my wild child lol. He will go lay down when his dad goes to bed.

Just_Marie July 28th, 2013 06:00 PM

Re: Bedtime
I'm a militant freak-my kids eat supper, brush, shower then bed by 6.
They don't know they're allowed to get back out of bed

Iluvmybabies* July 29th, 2013 12:01 AM

Re: Bedtime
Dinner at 6, by 7 it's bath, teeth, story then there in bed by 7:45 they are usually sleeping by 8!

clouise July 31st, 2013 10:05 PM

Re: Bedtime
I think you need to start earlier and give yourselves some time to work with. My kids' summer bedtime is about nine, but my dh and I don't go to bed until 11:30 or so. I think everyone needs some grown up time at the end of the day to decompress. It would drive me crazy to have kids up and bugging me until the very last second of my day too.

We just do the usual....bath, clean up rooms, stories, prayers. I let the older ones read in their beds with a book light after I tuck them in if they want. No one really gets back up other than the three year old. She usually has a few complaints (blanket fell off, etc.) We just deposit her back in bed. It seems to work out that she nods off by the time the older kids finish reading, so they don't bother each other too much.

I've always heard it is bad to watch tv right before bed, so you could try cutting that out an hour or so before and see if it helps them wind down. Full disclosure - I fall asleep with the tv still on...but it's worth a try right? Lol. ....

mamato4andc July 31st, 2013 10:30 PM

Re: Bedtime
I'm right there with you. We have no schedule. I've tried and just gave up. My kids don't get out of bed but they talk and giggle with each other. The 3rd time I have to tell them, they get spanked. If they do it more than one night in a row, they sleep in their own rooms. That gets them on track for awhile lol. They are usually asleep by 11 if there's not a baby(12 months or younger) in the house because our babies cry all the time.

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