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-   -   Known Donor Vs. Frozen? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f302-lgbt-mommies-and-mommies-to/2696187-known-donor-vs-frozen.html)

Rainbow Momma December 4th, 2013 07:52 AM

Known Donor Vs. Frozen?
Has anyone used a known donor? Im tempted to go that route over using frozen sperm just because of all the expenses. But my main concern is it being incredibly awkward? if you used a known donor was it awkward? how did you go about asksing someone?

Also, if you used frozen sperm, were you able to do it home?

Spider123 December 8th, 2013 06:50 PM

Re: Known Donor Vs. Frozen?
Pardon me (het single mother by choice) for butting in, but I used a known donor and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. It's not awkward at all. My five year old has met his donor and we exchange phone calls and emails the same way we would with any friend of the family. He has even met some of his half siblings and I have other mothers to reassure me about little genetic quirks our kids share through KD.

I'm not a spammer, but if you google "known donor registry" and use a bit of common sense, then you can find out more about another alternative than going through a bank or asking friends and friends of friends.

You don't need a doctor to do the insem, but it's only fair to covor the donor's travel expenses if he's the one doing the travelling.

I tried the "friend of a friend" route first and there is still some awkwardness when I run into potential donors that didn't work out even after all these years and the complete lack of hard feelings on my part.


Rainbow Momma December 23rd, 2013 09:56 AM

Re: Known Donor Vs. Frozen?
Thanks for your input!! We have enough saved to do a couple months of fronzen but if those doesnt work out i think we're going to go the known donor route.

dansylbelo February 6th, 2014 09:28 AM

Re: Known Donor Vs. Frozen?
DW is really considering the known donor route because she was adopted. The person we have picked is a close friend that has made it known that it us up to use how we introduce the child to him and that he has known for awhile he doesn't want kids of his own. It's important for DW because she is adopted and doesn't know who her biological parents are or if there is any medical history that she needs to be aware of.

I am still on the fence about known vs sperm bank... but I feel like if we have someone willing I should consider it a gift and at least try!

Rainbow Momma February 6th, 2014 11:22 AM

Re: Known Donor Vs. Frozen?
Ya if someone is willing to do it for you..i say go for it!

Rainbow Family February 25th, 2014 07:09 PM

Re: Known Donor Vs. Frozen?
We did debate about known donor vs unknown.. And we just found that we would want our child to put a face to their donor and when the time comes, they can meet them..
It was very awkward! We only met our donor on the day of donation and we were very nervous. We had all the worries about how would it happen and all the questions you could expect.. But it all kind of fell into place.. We had a motel room. We let him in our room, he did his thing then gave us a txt and went back up and he left.
We met him on Free Sperm Donors Worldwide. We discussed what we did and didn't want and emailed for about 4 months before going ahead.. There are some weird ones out there tho!
Good luck for whatever you choose :)

Rainbow Momma February 27th, 2014 01:42 PM

Re: Known Donor Vs. Frozen?
oh wow! i didnt not know there was a site out there for that!we were thinking of all the friends we have and it would just be so totally awkward to ask them. i had the idea that we could ask a couple of our gay guy couples to see if they woudl do it and when they were ready we could carry for them but S/O is absolutely against that plan. so knowing about that site really helps! Did you have to get any legal documents drawn up or any sort of thing like that so they wouldnt try and come claim the child a few years down the road?

MrsPalumbo March 6th, 2014 11:55 AM

Re: Known Donor Vs. Frozen?
We did the unknown/bank route. It was just the best choice for us. There's a lot of legal ickiness in using a known donor or not going through an RE. It's just not something we were interested in risking in the future. Also, our insurance covered EVERYTHING for fertility treatments, injectables, and the IUI. We just had to pay for the vials which was $1200 for 2, including shipping.

missy.mussel August 1st, 2014 10:01 AM

Re: Known Donor Vs. Frozen?
We used a known donor for both of our sons. In my eyes, it was a cheaper and easier route than frozen. Both donors are apart of our lives as uncles and it was truly great to have these men look at us and say, "Sure thing we will help you create your family".

sweetlove8412 August 2nd, 2014 04:44 PM

Re: Known Donor Vs. Frozen?
My husband and I are going to use the known donor route. We found our donor on facebook, as there are many sites for free sperm donors. We travel to them, pay for everything for the donor if he needs anything at all, get up to date STD, drug tests, etc done before donations are accepted. Known Donor Registry is a really great site to use, too!

Lilylauren April 8th, 2015 09:16 PM

Re: Known Donor Vs. Frozen?
We went the "crazy" route. He and his husband are our very close friends, have been for years; godparents to our children. They will be a part of the baby's life, and the baby will know who the father is. But he is also going to sign away all rights to the child, he's already signed a contract.

2girlstrying November 2nd, 2015 07:01 PM

Re: Known Donor Vs. Frozen?
Has anyone opted to ask Brothers or Fathers to donate. we asked my Brother in-law and one of my wife Cousins, we asked for a reply in January 2016 when we plan on starting our conception journey. I am pretty sure my brother in-law will say no, but my Father in-law keeps joking that he would. I read on some forms about fathers donating for sons (in case of cancer etc) but not Father in-laws to daughter in-laws. Most of everything I've read has had LGTB parent using friends or banks? any thought? our fingers are crossed for a clean bill of health for all and IUI insemination with my doctor.

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