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-   -   for those of you that have had a child... (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f228-loss-parent/1705906-for-those-you-have-had-child.html)

Mrs.Paradise September 15th, 2009 09:54 AM

for those of you that have had a child...
how did you deal with not having your mom there when you went through it for the first time? my Name is Jessica Im almost 26 and my mom died when I was 7 of breast cancer... it has been really hard for me because I havent had her for the real improtant milestones of life... it was extreamly hard when I got married and she wasnt there physicaly with me...:( I know shes with me in spirt but its just not the same... I have only talked with one of my sisters about this since it is still too hard for my family to talk about her. I dont really get any awnsers from any of them... its really hard for me now when my hubby and I are just ttc I cant imagine what its going to be like when Im actually pregnant... I have a GREAT MIL!!! shes THE BEST!! she even reminds me of my mom in SOOOOOOOOOO MANY WAYS!!! they look alike and just about everything is the same... the only diff. is, is that shes my Mil and not my mom... and there is always a diff. in the way she treats me compared to her daughters... and thats ok thats how it is... I just dont have that feeling with anyone... and THAT is THE HARDEST!!! I miss my mom sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!! I wish I could ask her about her pregnancies with us... I wish I could just call her if I needed advice or just someone to talk to ... it has been really hard lately... I think thats because it was her birthday on the 11th of this month... well thanks for letting me vent and talk about her... and thanks in advance for any advice you can give me!! ;)

jtcpb12 September 23rd, 2009 11:46 AM

Re: for those of you that have had a child...
Welcome.. I'm Tami... Sorry it took so long to write... I went threw the same thing... But i have a 15 yr old & she was right there with me .. supporting me when they said i had to have a c/s ..... i was a single parent for 13 yrs... mom got breast cancer .. beat that,,, then got bone & liver cancer & she fought that for 2yrs... i found my long lost first love 9 nov 07.. we got engaged in apr. She then got a UTI & that's when they started doing more test & while waiting.. she just kept telling me that she told them she don't care what she has just keep her well untill sept ( my b-day & our wedding. )
Unfort. 2 weeks later we were rushing her up on live support then bringing her home to pass..... So we got married early in 1 day we got a wedding party ,,JP,, rings & licence & we wed before she passed,,, BUT she was not wake to see it... we remarried in sept with her candle lite the whole time.... I then got prego YES 15 yrs later i'm prego....
I had some complactions so i had to try & keep myself in a bubble of happyness & it's hard b/c EVERYTHING is amplafyed i joined JM & tricked my mind on a couple things ... but it is hard I still cry ever month on the 23rd..... i think what was really hard was taking her up to the grave after she was born....

Jm has alot of supporter on here to help... join the due date boards etc.. it will help ... I wish you all the best of luck we are here for you & will help you in any way possible... Keep us posted ok

Mrs.Paradise September 24th, 2009 11:44 PM

Re: for those of you that have had a child...
THANK YOU!!! Im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad you got back to me!!!

jtcpb12 September 26th, 2009 01:43 PM

Re: for those of you that have had a child...
we are def here for you... please if you need anything... talk... rant...ANY questions you may have i'll (we'll )be more than happy to help

amberrose22 October 6th, 2009 09:54 AM

Re: for those of you that have had a child...
It is very very hard to go through pregnancy by "yourself". I lost my mom when I was 10, and my dad was a year and half before her, then my brother when I was 19 so I'm the only one left of my immediate family.

The wedding 2 yrs ago was hard, but I had lots of family there and it was a great day. Pregnancy was a whole nother ball game. I have a couple aunts who I'm close to but you're right, it's not the same! I relied a lot on my DH and he did a wonderful job giving me the attention I needed.

Now that my baby girl is here, I so wish they were all here to see her cuz she's just the most amazing little person ever.

It is hard. I won't lie. But you'll be AMAZED at how much your life changes with your little one around. It gave me a whole new reason for living and I cherish each and every day i have with her!

amanda86 November 18th, 2009 08:33 PM

Re: for those of you that have had a child...
My mom just passed and I am just seeing how hard it is going to be. Even with kids already born I will always want her there to help me raise them and baby sit them and I think about all the hugs they'll never get from her and she won't be there when they graduate or get married or have kids of their own. There's so many birthdays she will never get to see and Christmases and little dance recitals and soccer games. My mom loved my kids as much as she loved me. I feel so sad. But at least she knew them for a while and she was there before they were born so what you are going through is even herder. It is lonely and sad. I am sorry.

Mine just passed two weeks ago. I'm feeling sick all of the time. She was there when I was PG and I am happy about that but there is so much after that too. It isn't the dream I have always had when I was a girl. That is the thing you said that I can understand the most. I always thought she would be there and she was part of my dreams. This is not the way it was suppose to be.

Mrs. Paradise, I think life is so hard. I am sorry for the way you are feeling and I think I understand.

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