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-   -   "failed pregnancy" (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f373-miscarriage-pregnancy-loss-experiences/2185085-failed-pregnancy.html)

CherryTrue December 9th, 2010 11:38 AM

"failed pregnancy"
So, my husband and I found out we were having a baby back in October after ttc for 17 months. I started spotting on October 26 so we went to emergency, the doctor did a check and ordered an emergency u/s for the next afternoon. I went for the ultrasound, and got to see my baby for the first time at 8 weeks 3 days. I saw the heartbeat, flutter flutter, it was so exciting! I was told I would get a call to discuss the u/s had there been any issues found. I never did receive that phone call, so expecting that all was well, I carried on with my excitement, planning and shopping for the baby.

Then December 1st came, the day I was meeting my Ob/Gyn for the first time. 13 weeks along, and excited when the doctor said that I would get to hear my baby's heartbeat that day. The doctor tried 2 times for at least 10 minutes each time, to find no heartbeat. He told me not to worry as it isn't uncommon to not find the heartbeat at this point as the baby is still quite low, as well as the fact that I am overweight, which makes it harder to find the heartbeat as well. He ordered an u/s for the next day just to be sure things were fine, so that both of us would be happy and not worrying.

Well, the next morning came, my mother in law and I go to the hospital to have my u/s done. I was excited, and thinking very positive. When I got in the room and the tech started to do the scan, I knew something was wrong, she wasn't showing me my baby. I asked at one point if I was going to be able to see, and she told me that once she was done with the scan and talked to the doctor I would get to see my baby.

When she was all done, she left the room, and the doctor came back in and did a scan himself.

He then handed me some kleenex and told me that my baby had stopped growing at about 10 1/2 weeks and that there was no heartbeat. he explained to me that it was considered a "failed pregnancy". It was then explained to me that a d&c was in order to get the baby/tissue removed. The surgery was done later that day.

Sunday December 5, ended up in emergency to find out now I have an infection, which is apparently common, so now am on 2 weeks of an antibiotic.

Now, I am trying to come to terms with this whole situation, but have so many questions. :cry:

~Tanya~ December 9th, 2010 12:14 PM

Re: "failed pregnancy"
I am so sorry for your loss :dothug:
I think my loss that was the hardest was the one prior to losing Daniel (not that his loss hasn't & won't continue to be hard - it is just a different loss). I think it was because the baby had been growing just fine & I thought everything was perfect, until I went in for an u/s at 16 weeks and found out the baby had stopped developing at about 14 weeks - they had no reasons for the loss. It is so devastating to have so many questions, and for there to be no answer- I'm so sorry you have to go through this - it is something you wouldn't wish on the worst person in the world :( Did your Dr have any tests run?

CherryTrue December 9th, 2010 01:04 PM

Re: "failed pregnancy"
As far as I know, no tests were run or being done. I was just told that this happens for a reason that is out of my control and that there was nothing I could do to change it.

~Tanya~ December 9th, 2010 01:25 PM

Re: "failed pregnancy"
Have you had any previous losses? If you did not, perhaps that is why they didn't test. After my loss last year they ran tests on (there really isn't a delicate way to phrase this) the baby's remains for genetic factors that may have contributed to his/her passing - they couldn't check for anything else (ie. heart issues) because it was a D&C. There was nothing chromosomally wrong, so they said there is no real way to know the reason why - it could have been so many things :( They put me on progesterone, asprin & Lovenox right when I got preggo this time around, but I ended up losing him because of an incompetent cervix, which if I ever get preggo again, they will be putting in a cerclage at 12 weeks. So, I guess it just depends on how many losses you have had & the Dr...

JessP December 9th, 2010 01:26 PM

Re: "failed pregnancy"
Usually its called a missed miscarriage, not that the wording changes your loss or sadness but it does sound a bit nicer. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I hope that you are recovering well from your D&C (physically). Sorry you are having to be on anti-biotics. Those are no fun at all. You are more than welcome to join the main board as well and add your angel to our memorial list. We are here anytime you need us. Sadly m/c is more common than people want to admit or acknowledge.
Welcome to JM and the pregnancy loss board. Although I wish you were here to join a DDC instead of because you lost your sweet angel.
Did you get a picture of your baby? Sometimes they will do that if they did an u/s.

CherryTrue December 10th, 2010 02:23 PM

Re: "failed pregnancy"
This is my second miscarriage in a row. about 5 years in between. The doctor knew this was my second but never told me they could do some testing to find out the cause. Maybe I will have to question why I wasn't given this option. Thanks for the information. As for getting a picture, no I didn't. i had gone for 2 u/s one at just over 8 weeks and the hospital won't give until you are 18 weeks along. As for the second one, it was when I found out that I had lost the baby, and they told me as well that they don;t give out pics until your 20 week mark. So nope, no pictures given. :-(

JessP December 10th, 2010 10:44 PM

Re: "failed pregnancy"
That is such pooey. I am so sorry. I know many dr.'s won't do testing until you have three losses. Like somehow that is a magic number. Big poo heads if you ask me. Depends on where you are. I know they did some testing on mine to see if any abnormalities were found. As of right now I have no cause for my two losses. I am so sorry you are going through this and that your dr office is giving you some strange info. Feel free to poke around and ask the ladies. They are super helpful.

CherryTrue December 13th, 2010 10:01 AM

Re: "failed pregnancy"
Thanks JessP. And everyone else who has responded. Now to change the subject a little... My husband is talking about trying again. I would love to, but have moments where I think it's too soon and it just seems wrong or something. I know a few people who had a miscarriage then starting ttc right away and got pregnant within a couple of months and they have told me and my husband to just do it because it is easier to get pregnant the first few months after a miscarriage, especially after D and C.. What do you think? Is this accurate information?

JessP December 16th, 2010 02:04 PM

Re: "failed pregnancy"
I don't know about easier. It took us 5 months to concieve again after our first loss and before that it had never been difficult for us.
When to TTC is completely your decision and something that you have to be emotionally ready for. There is alot more worry and stress with TTC after a loss. And pregnancy after a loss. There are boards here on JM for that as well if you want to talk to those ladies too.
Everyone's bodies are different and heal differently. I hope that you will be able to concieve quickly and deliver a healthy baby on your due date.

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