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-   -   Intro and advice question (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f77-moms-and-expectant-moms-multiples/2491231-intro-and-advice-question.html)

KMH February 18th, 2012 12:40 PM

Intro and advice question
I can't believe I'm posting over here...eek! My name is Melissa, and DH and I saw TWO heartbeats yesterday at our ultrasound! It is still very early, but we are already a little overwhelmed at the thought of adding twins to our family (we have a 19 month-old girl already).

Do any of you have any resources/books that you recommend to expectant Mamas of twins? There are a zillion books on amazon.com, but I have no clue how to pick! Any advice or pointers about where to get started would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Rae-of-Sunshine February 19th, 2012 09:13 AM

Re: Intro and advice question
First off let me say CONGRATS! I remember the feeling of shock at seeing two also, and like you my first instinct was "Give me a book to read on it!" I have 3-4 of the different twin books, and I will definitely let you know later which ones I liked best when I can get to my book shelf and get them (I am sitting at my computer pumping right now, and I don't really remember which ones were which).

In the meantime, you came to a great place. The ladies here had lots of advice for me, and can hardly believe I actually might be able to offer someone else advice now. They are my first, so I don't have an older child to be able to compare the experience to like you, but I can tell you twins are great. Yes, I won't lie, there are plenty of days you will want to pull your hair out, and it is a constant, never ending cycle of things to do, but there are also so many wonderful moments too. I can't imagine not having two.

Anyway, I will come back and post some book suggestions when I get a chance later. In the meantime welcome :)

Rae-of-Sunshine February 20th, 2012 07:32 AM

Re: Intro and advice question
Ok .. Back now that I have had time to grab my books ... though I know there is one more I can't put my fingers on at the moment.

First I will say the best piece of advice I got early on was to find a local Moms of Multiples (of Moms of Twins) group. They were a great source of advice too and many clubs do yard sales also where you can get great deals on double the stuff, and I actually was able to go to meeting before and early after they were born. By about 4-5 months or so, I stopped going to meetings, because at 7 PM it was past the babies bedtime and I didn't want to keep them up nd mess up their routine. This link could help you find a club in your area National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs, Inc - Home

Ok .. here are the books I have:

Twinspiration - Probably one of my favorites, because it is pretty down to earth advice. She does cover a lot of basic baby stuff too, which was great for me as a first time mom, but you might find unneccesary. She puts a multiples spin on it though, and has random little "Dad" perspective boxes in it also (presumably written by her husband), which I would read to my husband. I like also that she had a little in the back about when they get older. It wasn't much, but got me thinking about some of that.

Mothering Multiples: Breastfeeding and Caring for Twins of More - I found this one to be the hardest read of them. Just not as grab your attention interesting, but it did pack a lot of great info in it, especially on bf'ing if you are planning to breastfeed. To me it spent a lot of time talking about the NICU and issues/problems with babies. That is probably not a bad thing to prepare someone in case, but be prepared also for your twins not to have any issues. Most books seem to focus more on the problems and don't prepare a mom for taking home two healthy babies. But, still, there was good info in here.

Juggling Twins - This was my least favorite of them. She had all these ideas for ways to get "stuff" that I would never do. And if I remember right harped on and on and on about setting up your "help" schedule early. I guess that is good advice if you have help around, but DH and I have no family around and did it fine on our own. She served to do nothing but worry me early on about not having all the things she "suggested" This is the book I can't put my hands on right now, but if I remember right this is the one that did have a decent suggestion list of what you needed to buy now and what could wait until later. As well as how much you really needed with two.

I hope that helps, and again .. congrats!

KMH February 20th, 2012 08:42 AM

Re: Intro and advice question
Thank you SOOOOOOOOOO much! That gives me a place to start, which is what I need to hopefully feel a little less frazzled ;)

It was also really great to hear you say that you did this without a ton of help...my DH is military and gone a lot, and we live 2,000+ miles from family, so we're not surrounded by a ton of people that will swoop in and help. You have given me hope :)

Rae-of-Sunshine February 20th, 2012 10:59 AM

Re: Intro and advice question
You can do it. I will clarify one thing though and that is that my DH is a SAHD, so for the 9 weeks I was off work we did have 2 sets of hands 24/7. That helped. He is not good with not sleeping though, so I did all the nights by myself .. I had to be up to nurse them anyway, and in the first month or so he would let me nap for a bit in the day when I could. By about 6-7 weeks I was doing well enough that I didn't have to nap anymore. They were sleeping long enough stretches at night that I would get a few hours in here and a few hours there. Having two sets of hands was definitely helpful, so if you have anyone around that can help even just for a bit during the day to let you rest, that would help. I understand the military thing .. I was Navy for 8 years, so I know well what it is like to be far away. I am no longer active duty, but our closest family is still a 17 hour drive. I have had family here a total of 7 days since they were born.
You can definitely do this without all the night nurses, 3 meals a day brought in, etc, etc that some people talk about. Think now of easy meals. I had a bunch of stuff frozen (love frozen flat meatloaf .. I make 4 at a time now), or think of easy either crockpot meals, or things you can make several hours ahead of time whenever the kids happen to be napping and then just put in the oven at the last minute. DH and I ate our share of frozen chimichangas and sweet potato fries on days where any kind of cooking just didn't happen.
I don't know if your DH is going to be deployed or not when they are young, but I would say if he is in the first couple months, you will probably at least want someone to give you a long enough break to nap now and then during the day/evening. I don't know if you go to church or not there, but I can tell you that if we had asked, I KNOW many of the older women at our church would have jumped at the chance to come hold a baby for a few hours. Even just that ability to take a quick nap will do you wonders.
All that is a LONG 8-9 months off though. In the meantime enjoy carrying these two and all the extra appointments and peeks at the babies you are likely to get :)

KMH February 20th, 2012 04:45 PM

Re: Intro and advice question
Thank you so much for all the advice and encouragement...I don't know any twin Mamas IRL, so it is so wonderful to have someone to point me in the right direction!

Oh, and congrats on all the weight you have lost...that's awesome!

Just_Marie February 20th, 2012 10:49 PM

Re: Intro and advice question
oh Melissa, congratulations!!!

dalynnrmc February 27th, 2012 01:10 PM

Re: Intro and advice question

The only two books I read were Mothering Multiples (and I agree with Rae's review above), and one that I didn't like - found too fru-fru for my tastes (and I'm pretty AP in most considerations). I think it was called Having Twins, and the only thing I liked about it was the explanation of kinds of twins and how they happen... which isn't really uber important in the scheme of things. LOL

I didn't have much opportunity to get or read much else, and even the Mothering Multiples book I didn't get until after they were born. Did help with some breastfeeding questions, which is why I wanted it.

I've enjoyed the Twinstuff website also!

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