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-   -   Wwyd (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f36-moms-gradeschoolers/2484440-wwyd.html)

[email protected] February 3rd, 2012 04:39 AM

So Amber is at a Private school which we loved last year... this year not so much.
We transferred here last year because Amber was unhappy at the public school (she said the kids were very ill behaved and the teachers spent more time yelling at the kids then teaching) also the 2nd grade curriculum was 2 years BEHIND what they were teaching at her old school back at the old duty station.
Now this year, it seems 3rd and 4th grades, while still behind what they are doing at the old duty station its what they're doing in the private school she is in.
Amber is gifted and NEEDS a gifted program the private school doesnt have one but the public school does. We have already decided not to send her back to the private school next year.
Here is where we are conflicted... do we have her finish the year out then transfer or pull her out now? She doesnt have many friends at the private school and really the only thing she would miss is her ecology club. We have not been made to feel welcomed here by the other families and most of the staff hasnt either. Her current teacher has made it VERY clear to me this year we are not expected to return next year :/ and I hate to be THAT parent but it seems EVERY project my daughter turns in is unfairly graded. One example she worked for HOURS on a research paper on a Saint and a few parents were at the presentations, well ALL of them said she had one of the best ones (they dont like me enough to lie to me) but yet she received a C. Another paper she worked on was a group project that my kid WORKED HER BUTT off for and she got a B yet the other group members all got As... she was LIVID with this one BTW.
So IDK I hate to keep her there for the rest of the year if she isnt happy but I dont want to put her under a lot of stress right now (she is having a procedure to close a hole in her heart next week)

::er!ca:: February 3rd, 2012 06:18 AM

Re: Wwyd
If you haven't already paid in full, or would get a refund of tuition if you had, I would probably pull her out. It doesn't sound like it's a good fit.

pauriemmo February 3rd, 2012 06:47 AM

Re: Wwyd
That's quite the dilemma. I find myself being "that" parent sometimes, when it comes to my son. I couldn't stand my son's Pre-K teacher last year. Sometimes, I felt like she had it out for him. I had gotten so frustrated that I wrote her a letter and in it, I told her to pass it along to the Principal. I went on in great length about what kind of teacher I thought she was and how I thought she was ill-equipped to deal with children of his age and intelligence.

I was so sick of being made to feel like all I did was side with my son when I truly felt like he was being treated badly.

Long story short, I kept him at the school, she is no longer there a teacher there and when my son took his Kindergarten assessment tests, the Principal called me and said that he belonged in the First Grade. I'm glad that I waited it out. He is doing much better and finally being challenged.

Is it a possibility that she can be switched to a different class?

Cesca February 3rd, 2012 09:05 AM

Re: Wwyd

Originally Posted by ::er!ca:: (Post 25565004)
If you haven't already paid in full, or would get a refund of tuition if you had, I would probably pull her out. It doesn't sound like it's a good fit.

I agree.

SpazTaz February 3rd, 2012 09:44 AM

Re: Wwyd
Maybe ask your daughter what SHE'D like to do? If she wants to move then it wouldn't be stressful to move, if she doesn't, then maybe as someone else suggested speak to the principal and/or see if she can be moved to a different teacher. But if she's in 2nd grade and it directly affects her, I'd let her be part of the decision making process.

Mom2Brendan February 3rd, 2012 10:30 AM

Re: Wwyd
I agree with Meghan that she would need to be part of the decision making.

LovinMyGirls February 3rd, 2012 03:19 PM

Re: Wwyd
My first question is have you looked into the Gifted program at the public school she'll attend? Often times gifted programs are not what they should be.
Obviously she's not happy where she is so a change needs to be. If you'd paid all your tuition I'd weigh whether you'll pull her out now.

Regardless I'd do some research about where you're going to send her before you do it. If she needs to be challenged you need the right fit..often times regular ed teachers..I'll say this because I see it first hand as I teach SOME teachers do not meet the needs of their students and give the "gifted" what they need outside of a gifted program sometimes because they can't sometimes because they just don't.

Good Luck, keep us updated!

Lucia_mommy February 4th, 2012 12:27 PM

Re: Wwyd
Tough decision!! I agree, she should definately be part of the decision, too much change is often not good for children. But it does sound like pulling her out is a good idea!

[email protected] February 5th, 2012 10:52 PM

Re: Wwyd
She is in the 3rd grade...she said she is OK with switching during this year under one condition she doesnt go to the public school we're zoned for (which is fine by me I dont want her back there). She has also said she doesnt want to go back to this school next year.
As for another teacher, there is only 1 other 3rd grade class here but it wouldnt make much of a difference since the 2 classes do a lot of their work together.
Our only options is this school or the public schools. The other Private schools are upwards of 3X the price of where she is now (most expensive one here, & of course the one with the best program for her, is $13,000 in JUST TUITION A YEAR) so we really just need to get something going. I have looked at the gifted programs and while I am not too sure how I feel with the integration concept (the gifted kids are in classes with "regular" kids but pulled out a couple times a week for extra instruction) but ALL the public schools here do it with one exception but it would be an hour drive one way without traffic every morning.
Homeschool isnt an option, my husband refuses to consider it

SpazTaz February 6th, 2012 07:46 AM

Re: Wwyd
I can say from personal experience that the putting them in class with regular kids and pulling them out for special instruction or turning the gifted program into an after school program both work really well. My son's school has done both and we saw a huge improvement in his attitude in class when he got into the program. So for us we had no issues with the way they worked either variation of the program.

clouise February 6th, 2012 10:38 AM

Re: Wwyd
Do you work outside the home? It sounds like she would do really well homeschooling. If not full-time, maybe just for the rest of the year.

What do you mean by the fact that the teacher doesn't expect her to return next year? Is that because you told her that, or for some other reason?

I really think I would pull her now. You shouldn't have to pay all that money to be treated that way.

I agree about checking into the gifted program before getting your hopes up. My daughter has had a hard year, and when she tested into TAG I thought things would surely improve. It turns out that the TAG program here is very underfunded though, and it is not going to really improve her level of education. What they will do is provide her with enrichment programs a few times a month. It will not raise the level of her reading or math instruction though, which she really needs. We did apply to send her to a charter school just for TAG kids next year....here they provide bussing though.

I hope you can figure something out! We are kind of in the same boat. My daughter went to a fantastic school before we transferred, and now her new school is years behind. And she's only in the first grade!

[email protected] February 7th, 2012 07:06 AM

Re: Wwyd
I would LOVE to homeschool her but my husband is very against it. I tried convincing him last year that we needed to try it with her this school year but when we got pregnant I gave up (I didnt want to be homeschooling and then adjusting to being a mom again after 8 years in the middle of the school year. It didnt seem fair to any one)

I am just so frustrated with this whole thing

Trish36 February 7th, 2012 02:04 PM

Re: Wwyd
I would pull her out right now since it doesn't seem like it's working and it's just upseting her. Good luck!

Gaby&Emmy'sMama February 7th, 2012 06:23 PM

Re: Wwyd
It sounds like pulling her out now may be more beneficial than having her finish the year out at her current school..

[email protected] February 26th, 2012 07:16 AM

Re: Wwyd
So I spoke with the other school.... we cant get her out of district in the middle of the year :/ and I just got a job (we need the $$) so homeschool is out as is the other school. The public school she should go to is just a mess... looks like we're stuck at this one until June... luckily Field Hockey starts soon so hopefully that'll make things better for her

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