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Thattexasgirl March 4th, 2019 09:53 PM

Dealing with ttc after tramatic birt, don't want to scare ttc mommy's.
Dh and I are trying to decide when to ttc again. We'd like it to be within the next year. Since we've discussed this I've had horrible nightmares about my last pregnancy with ds#2. I'm on antidepressants but I'm not cooping well with the terror of it happening again. Any advice is welcome.

Back story: ds2s pregnancy started with a subcontractor hemorrhage, two very large ovarian cyst, and threatened miscarriage (unexplained bleeding). It lasted till mid 2trimester. Lots of bedrest. I had contractions that they were able to stop at just 19weeks and 24weeks. Then I had a horrible nagging pain in my back and inconsistent labor pains begin again at 32 weeks. Went to nearest hospital when I started to bleed. My water broke in their emergency room. I was kept over night, tested for AF two test we're positive, one was negative. They sent me home saying I was over reacting to kidney stones (though no test we're run, and I was still bleeding). I called my obgyn set an emergency appointment for next day. Sent dh off to work and drove myself to Dr. Got stuck in stopped traffic for an hour during which time my contractions we're so intense I was screaming in the car. When I got to the Dr office I could hardly stand, nurse came out and helped me in. Where my Dr confirmed I was in preterm labor with broken waters. I then drove myself to the hospital (what was two blocks after that traffic 🙄) and was admitted into the hospital. I was in labor 7 more days trying to give him as much time as possible and get as much steroid shots in me as was medically safe. From the 6th day to the 8th and final delivery day It felt as if my body was being ripped apart. I was screaming when a contraction hit. I'd never felt pain like that. The Dr on call came and told me I was being a baby about labor and I needed to "behave myself" when I ask for pain medicine she shamed me saying my physical comfort was more important to me then my baby was... Two hours later ds had dcells and I was taken into an emergency C-section where it was discovered 75% of my placenta had ruptured... I only got to turn to my grandfather (dh could not get off work) long enough to say I hadn't heard ds cry before I was put completely under due to bleeding/ surgical issues. When I woke up I was given 4 more units of blood and made to stand before I could go see ds.
Ds is perfect, he was only on oxygen for 1hr. And only in nicu for 10days. He's still perfect and will be three months old this month.
Sorry for the length, and any spelling/grammar errors.
If anyone else has been through a tramatic birth please comment. Anything that helped you.
Thank you! God bless!

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