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-   -   How can my family help?? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f257-natural-childbirth/1261051-how-can-my-family-help.html)

~Nik*Re~ October 5th, 2008 08:28 AM

I've decided NOT to hire a doula. My mom and gramma are going to be there with me to help through everything.
Does anyone know any good websites that my mom, gramma, and maybe DH can read to help me through the pain??
I'm getting really close, and my gramma is here with me waiting. She wants to know what to do and not to do.

ragmama October 5th, 2008 03:32 PM

There's an FAQ page at Childbirth.org for labor support people, and here's another that I found for you.

Mostly, I'd just remind them to do what they see needs to be done...offer comfort and support in the most logical way...and remember to NOT get their feelings hurt if something they try isn't quite right for you.

Good luck! :smile:

moon~maiden October 5th, 2008 07:44 PM

If you can get your hands on a copy of the Bradley Method book there is a super chapter for the birth partner. It's designed for the hubby, but there is useful info for anyone.

Kelllilee October 5th, 2008 09:15 PM

let them know that if you need them to stop doing something or START doing something they just need to DO it.

My biggest problem with my mom during my first birth is that wasn't really "in-tune" with me and thought the best idea was to talk to me during contractions to "distract me". But that just made it SOOOOOO hard to concentrate on relaxing. It was seriously stressing me out, but I couldn't articulate a sentence to tell her to stop. Luckily my midwife realized it and told her to shut up! lol

Tell them to follow your cues. If you get super quiet during contractions, they need to shut up and let you focus. If you are chatting and talking, take that as a sign that you want interaction. Does that make sense?

DoulaMama October 6th, 2008 06:19 AM

Also- talk to them about what language you want them to use. I recently attended a client who had a friend there- who EVERY contraction she asked how strong was that one. I finally got her to stop- but it was so counter productive.

I'd sugguest to them some using words like intense, productive, awesome as opposed to strong, painful, hard in regards to contractions.

a great book is the birth partner- but it's long. It would be good to have them read certain sections of it at least tho.

~Nik*Re~ October 8th, 2008 11:16 AM

Thank You Girls! I'm reading and printing out copies right now.
It's really getting down to the wire, and I'm starting to get scared.

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