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-   -   Update on me (and some fears) (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f257-natural-childbirth/1835617-update-me-and-some-fears.html)

Niamh ૐ January 12th, 2010 08:43 PM

Update on me (and some fears)
Well I'm 39 weeks and 3 days... just had a midwife appt today (hopefully my last one! *crosses fingers*) and I'm 2cm dilated. I'm totally thrilled about that too, because my last two appts I wasn't dilated AT ALL. So even though 2cm is not much at all, I'm thrilled I'm at least dilated that much, lol. Also, she stripped my membranes, so hopefully that does something!

I've also been taking Evening Primrose Oil, so maybe that's helped. :)

Anyways, my midwife did express concern for the size of the baby. She asked me if I felt the baby was bigger, smaller, or about the same as my son was when I was pregnant with him. She feels about the same to me. My son was 8lbs 11oz. When I was in labor with him, he never descended into the birth canal. He was at -2 the entire time. The midwife who I had at the time during my labor (completely different hospital than this time) was concerned that my pelvis just wasn't wide enough for him. I am 4'11" and a very VERY tiny woman. I ended up having to have a c-section with him... and am striving for a VBAC this time.

My midwife this time is kind of worried that the same thing might happen... especially if I'm feeling like the baby is about the same size as Seamus was. She's not suggesting me getting induced or anything like that and she fully supports my desire for a vaginal birth... but she is concerned about me going too far overdue. And frankly, I'm really worried about the same thing and have been for a while. :-/ What worries me even more is that my body is going to fail at what it should be able to do naturally. What if my babies really are too big for my body? I mean, I've already decided that if I *HAVE* to have a c-section again (not for lack of my desperately trying for a VBAC, btw), then I will again try for a VBA2C for our third pregnancy. But if *that* one has to be a c-section too... ugh... I just don't know if I would feel comfortable trying for a VBA3C with our fourth and final child. :( I know my husband wouldn't be too supportive of that. He fully supports me trying for a VBAC this time, and he is ok with me trying for a VBA2C for the next (if this one is a section)... but I know he wouldn't be supportive of trying again for a vaginal birth if #3 is a section too.

I guess my fears of a failed VBAC are really starting to catch up to me right now. I really really want this... but I'm scared that I'm just too tiny of a woman who makes babies too big. :(:(

Anyways, here's a belly pic (hopefully my last!) from today:


As for labor progress... I've had contractions on and off for several days. Sunday night was the worst. I'd have a bunch of contractions, pretty close together... but then I wouldn't have a contraction for like 30 minutes or so... then I'd have a batch of 5 or more contractions with little time in between each... and then I'd go another half hour or more without a single one. This went on and on most of the day. By about midnight or so, they teetered off and if I had anymore contractions, they weren't strong enough to wake me up. *sigh* Oh, and they caused *MAJOR* back pain. I had back labor with Seamus, and I'm thinking I might have the same thing this time. :-/

Since Sunday though, nothing's really been all that consistent. A contraction here or there, but that's it. Oye... just had to pause right now... just had another one.

Anyways, I'm really hoping the stripped membranes really has an effect. I need labor vibes ladies! :p And send your positive energies (or prayers, or thoughts, or whatever) that I get my natural VBAC! :D

sodagirl January 12th, 2010 08:58 PM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
big big hugs! You are in my thoughts and prayers and I am sending you awesome vbac vibes and positive energies! I love your picture - you look so cute!
There is a podcast called 'birthtalk' it has some cool meditations and on one of the first ones she talks about women giving birth vaginally to really really big babies - like small women 13 pounders! She says moving and using gravity is really important. In my birth guide by Ina May Gaskin - she also talks about putting counter pressure high on a ladies hips to get them to open more lower. I really think you can do it! Big big hugs. It sounds like your body is just about ready - I think when you can stop worrying about the baby being to big and whether or not you can do it - you will go into labour. (totally just my thoughts - and way easier said than done I know!) I'm sending vibes and positive thoughts your way! You Can Do It!!!!

Koti January 12th, 2010 09:18 PM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
I'm all for vbac! Here's hoping you achieve your goal!! Good luck!

TheOtherMichelle January 12th, 2010 09:31 PM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
Have you checked out spinning babies yet? I think in many cases positioning is more important than size. *Sending you labor vibes* 2 cm sounds promising!

10x_A_Mommy January 12th, 2010 11:03 PM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
Good luck! I hope things pick up for you soon and you get your vbac :)

NutMeg76 January 13th, 2010 05:00 AM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
I second spinning babies. It sounds like the baby might be posterior, same as Seamus. A posterior baby is difficult to deliver even if you are 6 feet tall. Can you see a chiropractor? That might help with the position of the baby, so can taking pulsatilla.

QueenCrafty January 13th, 2010 07:11 AM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
Just wanted to wish you luck!!

andi2284 January 13th, 2010 07:15 AM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)

Have you checked out spinning babies yet? I think in many cases positioning is more important than size. *Sending you labor vibes* 2 cm sounds promising!
I agree, the positions you labor and push in usually have more to do with it than the size of your baby. Tell us about your last labor, how far along were you when they decided to do the c-section? What positions did you labor and push in?

moon~maiden January 13th, 2010 07:17 AM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
position in labor is much more important than size. If you do things like sit on a yoga/birthing ball (you should start that now) or sit on the toilet, that can open your hips wider and help baby descend down.

Check out this website if you have any doubts that short women cannot give birth vaginally - Home Births. WARNING TO ANYONE READING THIS- clicking on that link will bring you to a site with pictures of women in labor, very graphic!

Kelllilee January 13th, 2010 08:22 AM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
your fears are understandable, but if you let them get to you it can only be detrimental to you. All you can do is your best.

FWIW, there's a mom I know in my local parenting group who is very close to your size, I think she may be shorter even and very thin build. Both of her kids were over 8lbs and she had them naturally (I think at home).

You know what you need to do to have the best chance at your VBAC. Don't be afraid, you can do it!

Niamh ૐ January 13th, 2010 09:37 AM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)

Originally Posted by andi2284 (Post 18643360)
I agree, the positions you labor and push in usually have more to do with it than the size of your baby. Tell us about your last labor, how far along were you when they decided to do the c-section? What positions did you labor and push in?

When I was in labor with Seamus, they induced me (broke my water) at 40w2d because of high blood pressure (that went back to normal after my water broke <_<)... it's a little hazy trying to remember back, but I remember trying to use the birthing ball (and almost falling on my butt! lol), I used some water therapy, and just tried to move my hips a lot. I didn't really know what I was doing... as the midwife was hardly ever there and I don't remember her giving me any kind of direction when she was there (this was a very cruddy hospital. Their midwife program sucked bad. I think maybe once or twice did I see the same midwife twice... but pretty much every appointment I saw a different midwife. Never got close to anyone. Went through three shifts of midwives during my labor... and I had never met either three before that day). They gave me pitocin... then some kind of pain medication... then an epidural... probably pitocin again. After 15 hours, they sent the OB in who pressured me into a c-section. I don't know if I actually "needed" the c-section or not (Seamus was going in distress during every contraction... but that could have been from the Pit... and he had the cord wrapped around his neck twice... so I don't know).

It ended up being me in bed most of the time. <_<

Fortunately, I've been trying more techniques this time... and I'm at a much much better hospital with a really good midwife program. I have two midwives, and have gotten close to both. They're both very supportive of my VBAC and have been there for me from day 1. I'm a lot more confident about the birth this time around.

I'm not so much letting the fears "get to me"... it's just something I've had in the back of my mind that wasn't really brought to the front until it was mentioned at my last appt. And while I'm not stressing out about it... it *IS* something that I'm kind of worried about. I know short women can give birth naturally (I have a friend the same height as me who gave birth completely naturally), but I also know that even though women are short, we're all shaped differently and have differently sized babies. My friend who gave birth naturally, her baby was under 7 lbs. I also know that a lot of the times it has more to do with the position of the baby rather than the size (and I've been doing techniques to try and reposition), but my fear is that sometimes it DOES have to do with the size/shape of mother and baby. Maybe my pelvis really is too narrow. :( And that's what I'm worried about. I'm trying to do what I can to get the best possible outcome, but that fear that I might not be able to do it is still in the back of my mind.

I am hoping for the best though, and really striving to get it! I have a lot more support this time, as opposed to last time... so that definitely helps. I don't have a birth ball, but I have been using the toilet. And I've been doing some pelvic twists and things like that. It may have already worked too... because I'm not having any back pain anymore... even when I had a couple contractions. So maybe she's already turned! *crosses fingers* I'm not afraid or anything... this is just me voicing my main concern... but I'm very hopeful and I won't be giving up!! :D

moon~maiden January 13th, 2010 09:51 AM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
hypnobabies has both a posterior track and two VBAC tracks if you feel inclined to check those out

Hypnobabies hypnosis for child birth that really works

LadyCoconut January 13th, 2010 10:20 AM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
Hey Niahm! Glad to see an update from you, I've been thinking about you. :) You look ADORABLE in that photo... so round! :wub: I don't really have anything to add on top of all of the great advice and thoughts the other ladies have thrown out there... but I wanted to say that I believe in you and your body! You can totally do this!

stlgirl January 13th, 2010 11:40 AM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
Hey girl - I feel you!! I know you've been working hard for this VBAC and it's really scary to think that it might not happen. I'm crossing all my crossibles for you that labor will start naturally on its own and that your LO will drop into position and fit perfectly through your pelvis. GL!!

kmac January 13th, 2010 01:49 PM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
i hope that you are able to get your vbac. the size of your pelvis now has nothing to do with the size of your pelvis in labor. your body will release chemicals and whatnot that will help to open your pelvis to fit the baby out.

just remember that your body knew how to MAKE this baby....trust that your body knows how to BIRTH this baby. mother nature knows the process and didnt design a faulty process...we arent designed to make babies that we cant give birth to. good luck and i hope you go into labor soon!!

sodagirl January 13th, 2010 02:33 PM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
Hugs! and good luck! - and by the way - I certainly wasn't meaning to criticize being anxious! - Talking about it and actually recognizing what's in the back of your mind is a great way to deal with it and totally necessary to have a baby :)
I can't wait to see your birthstory and baby!!!

Niamh ૐ January 13th, 2010 02:43 PM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
Thanks guys! :)

I'm super thrilled right now, because my mucous plug just came out! :D :D I never experienced that with Seamus (if it came out before labor, I never saw it). So I'm really very excited about that... even though it's such a small thing to be excited about, LOL. :p

Twhylite21 January 13th, 2010 03:24 PM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
Just wanted to say good luck!!

cheezpoofs January 13th, 2010 05:41 PM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
I hope you have a smooth and intervention and drug free VBAC! Come on out, little Rhiannon. :cheer:

Counting our Blessings January 13th, 2010 05:54 PM

Re: Update on me (and some fears)
Good luck! I hope you get your VBAC. Hopefully you can avoid pit and epidurals, they seem to cause lots of problems :p. You can do this!

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