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-   -   Best and worst (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f257-natural-childbirth/2524362-best-and-worst.html)

Jannell May 8th, 2012 07:53 AM

Best and worst
This board is totally dead so I thought maybe I'd post something. :lol:
We all get comments about wanted a NCB so I was wondering what is the best comment you got about it and from who? What was the worst comment and who was that from?

..Penelope.. May 8th, 2012 12:03 PM

Re: Best and worst
I don't remember getting any comments yet, but we have deliberately chosen not to share our plan unless someone asks. Less harassment that way, I really don't need anyone else's negativity expressed to me.

lunarmagic May 8th, 2012 12:40 PM

Re: Best and worst
I got a lot of eye rolling and "Just wait until labor starts" kind of comments, mainly from coworkers who had been through labor before.

Best comments.... hmmm. I don't know, I don't recall any. But the best for me was hearing other positive birth stories. I didn't get too many of that in person, but online I did. I loved the pumped up, triumphant, glowing feeling they gave me!

MissusF May 8th, 2012 02:57 PM

Re: Best and worst
I had a lot of negative comments about NCB when I was pregnant. I stopped telling people about my plans for NCB/home birth really early in my pregnancy because I got tired of hearing it. Mostly it was about how home birth is dangerous and since I was a first time mom I was naive and would be begging for the epi once I felt what labor was like.

My parents were surprisingly really supportive of my birth choices which I wasn't expecting. The girls in my LLL group are also huge advocates of NCB. There are only three of us that attend regularly and we usually discuss birth the entire time instead of breastfeeding lol.

..Penelope.. May 9th, 2012 02:19 PM

Re: Best and worst
I forgot to say that best would definitely be positive stories and positivie support!

lilemma86 May 10th, 2012 11:17 AM

Re: Best and worst
I am still newly pregnant but i have already decided that I will be going all natural! I have already had many comments like the "oh wait until labor" "I could never do that, how are your going to do it?" (im going to a birth center) "something could go wrong"

i have not heard any good positive birth stories yet except for a friend of mine who was only in labor for three hours!! no meds!

I think i might be keeping my plan (unless someone asks) on the dl, just to avoid some of the comments or horrible birth stories (which a lot could be linked back to hospital interventions that got in the way).

People just don't see it the way we do! they see someone in a field giving birth and going about their business.

I got my mom to watch the business of being born the other day. she was supportive but reserved about my plans before she watched it. After she was totally excited and appalled at the maternity care in america these days!

ashj_1218 May 10th, 2012 12:35 PM

Re: Best and worst
My favorite comment was from a fellow NCB mama and she said "dont you love how powerful you feel, knowing you just brought a whole person into the world yourself." I still think back on that comment...because I can't imagine ANY other thing I could do that could make me feel so victorious and amazed with my body.

The worst, and I have gotten it several times, is the "well, I am not a hero" comment. Or "ah, I don't need to prove anything to anyone by having a baby naturally." I don't understand why NCB is synonymous with "hero" or "proving something." I have nothing to prove either...which is decidedly not why I chose NCB!

mommyfirst11 May 10th, 2012 07:32 PM

Re: Best and worst
I agree with everyone, I try to keep my plans to myself.

tryinfor5 May 16th, 2012 07:40 AM

Re: Best and worst
I got a lot of those comments as well when I talk about NCB, this time around - I am just not mentioning it. Those close to me know what my plans are and are supportive. I really don't know that I have gotten any positive comments irl about NCB. People just don't get it.. it's amazing to me.

Twhylite21 May 22nd, 2012 10:57 PM

Re: Best and worst
Best comment was probably after I gave birth with all 3 kids. Everyone was so excited and proud of me for going all natural, including the doctors/nurses with Lily and Grant (they were both hospital births). After both Lily and Grant's births there were staff members that were coming into our room to say how awesome I was and they weren't even part of my medical care. They just heard about it from other nurses, etc.

Worst comment was one of my aunts when she heard that I was doing a home birth with Violet. She told me "that's how retarded babies are born". I was absolutely horrified.

tryinfor5 May 23rd, 2012 11:36 AM

Re: Best and worst
ok I am floored by your aunt's comment... do people really have no filter? What happened to the phrase "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all".

I did have one friend recently tell me that she really wishes she had done natural with all of hers, and that she respected that I was trying to make a decision based on the best for me and baby, not just me.

Oh, and read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth... a must read!!

happilyeverafter May 23rd, 2012 11:56 AM

Re: Best and worst
I also got the comments like "you just wait...you'll be asking for meds".. I also really didn't like when people asked things like "why would you want to do that?? You could be completely numb for hours and not even know it was happening!" I didn't want myself or my baby to be on drugs during one of the MOST important times of our lives.

The best comments came from my parents and husband. They never once questioned it and believed in me 100%.

mjoan09 May 23rd, 2012 11:12 PM

Re: Best and worst
Hi everyone!! I am very greatful to have ncb to my 2 girls (now 8 and 4 years old) even though I had an ovarian surgery when I was 18 years old.

LaceyMay2630 May 24th, 2012 12:14 PM

Re: Best and worst
The best comment was from my SIL "There is just something about NCB that gives you this rush, knowing that you just birthed a human being, all by yourself."

The worst is from my co-workers, who I stop talking about the subject and when it comes up I leave, "Why on earth would you pass the meds, one contraction and you're going to be begging for meds. You're just a cheap hippie."

I've just learned to ignore the negative, because regardless of what people thing, I'm birthing this baby naturally :)

daneeleigh May 27th, 2012 09:41 AM

Re: Best and worst
I heard all the negatives before birth but afterwards I never heard it again. Maybe they think I'm so strong now I'll kick their butts lol.

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