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-   -   Informing without Judging? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f257-natural-childbirth/2533226-informing-without-judging.html)

JoyfulChaosMama May 30th, 2012 11:56 AM

Informing without Judging?
***removed and I apologize for bringing DDC "drama" here.*****

Carwen*Angel May 30th, 2012 02:35 PM

Re: Informing without Judging?
I don't know. It's hard. A lot of ladies on my DDC do it really well. When they post their information they start with "This is what I believe" or "This is some information you might find useful" or whatever. They also often state "This is just my opinion" or "I completely respect your opinion, but this is mine."

It's a line I think some people cross between giving information and trying to impose their views/beliefs/opinions on somebody else. It's the point at which people say "I think you should..." There it is. That's the line. It can be avoided by using different phrasing "I hope you'll think carefully/consider because..." for example.

JoyfulChaosMama May 30th, 2012 02:57 PM

Re: Informing without Judging?
Maybe I'm just not good at knowing where that line is. I don't know.

Zoii May 30th, 2012 05:05 PM

Re: Informing without Judging?
From your June DDC. This post was found here by another one of your DDC'ers.

Your advice is now lost and ignored by many of us. Me personally, I stopped paying attention to your posts when you accused women of being completely immoral for using birth control and wouldn't accept that life situations and women in general are different.

You hold yourself and life very high on a pedastol and its very obvious. Please stop making us look up your nose. It might prove useful in gaining respect and getting your points across without resistance. No one responds well to arrogance.

BTW, you asked. :) peace.

Mommy-to-2 May 30th, 2012 05:20 PM

Re: Informing without Judging?
there is a way to say things without being judgemental. give your opinon and advice without telling them what to do and how to do it and telling them what they want to do is wrong. give your advice and best wishes.

Amazona May 30th, 2012 06:23 PM

Re: Informing without Judging?
Like the Sharron said, itīs the way the views or advice is offered.
People will definitely respect your views and information will be appreciated if you expose them in a respectful manner, without assuming the other person knows what you are talking about.
Like, when we were talking about membrane sweeping and you said "at 37w xx?"
It wouldīve been perhaps more helpful or less confrontational to mention that while 37 weeks is full term, it is a bit borderline and the procedure is usually not done before 39 weeks unless there are medical reasons (my own case for instance).
Just an example of wording.

And, Sharron... you TOTALLY nailed it on my reading!!! Iīm having another boy!
They were twins to begin with but I lost one at 7 weeks.
Just wanted to tell you that I told everybody you were awesome at what you do ;)

Carwen*Angel May 31st, 2012 03:04 AM

Re: Informing without Judging?
:) Paola! Always nice to know of a successful reading! So sorry for the twin you lost though sweetie. Wow you don't have long to go!! :) I must start stalking your DDC for birth stories, I knew quite a few of the June ladies from the TTC board xxx

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