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-   -   Visitors (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f257-natural-childbirth/2638667-visitors.html)

NinjaCakes March 28th, 2013 02:05 PM

I'm struggling to dig out more questions to give us something to do. How long after your baby was born did you let visitors come? I know people will be chomping at the bit but I obviously want to have some time to bond and rest before people start overwhelming us.

therevslady March 28th, 2013 04:38 PM

Re: Visitors
Like, immediately. I wish I could have waited a week, but my family would have killed me.

KtKuKi March 28th, 2013 06:23 PM

Re: Visitors
Luckily, my family lives out of town, so this time only my parents were there for the birth, then MIL was sick so we didn't see her till the day after. My sisters didn't come in town till he was 9 days old. I either don't have close enough friends, or we have friends that understand they need to wait, because just now people are starting to contact us about seeing him.

With DD being our first, my sisters came in town when I was in labor, MIL brought her boss to the hospital to see us, and some of our friends came to see us. I wish we'd said no visitors in the hospital because it was so stressful to have people there while I was trying to learn to breastfeed, then they put her on the billi bed so everyone wanted to hold her but only had a short time, so, yeah, I wish I'd just kicked people out:)

Kelllilee March 28th, 2013 06:24 PM

Re: Visitors
I love having visitors, but don't really get any, booo. My mom usually takes my older girls overnight so we have the first day just the three of us. Any visitors usually come the next day.

Social Halfwit March 28th, 2013 08:00 PM

Re: Visitors
With Bodhi, I had visitors come in immediately but I don't remember them. He and I both passed out for 11 hours straight.

With Brig, my brother and SIL came to see me the next morning, which I loved, but I didn't have many other visitors which made me kind of sad.

With FB, my future SIL will probably be here non-stop.. not sure how I feel about it yet, but I try to remind myself that she will just want to meet her first niece or nephew.

keekopeeko March 29th, 2013 05:41 AM

Re: Visitors
My first I made people wait a few hours.. I know it was reall hard for them.. But I am glad I did.. I needed some time to just zone out and be with the new person.. With my other two I had no problem with people being there .. I get it.. People are excited and happy .. Second two babies I was much more alert and present because my labora were faster.. And I felt more comfortable saying "ok I'm going to nurse now!" .. And just making my needs very clear even with people around..

ashj_1218 March 29th, 2013 09:03 AM

Re: Visitors
I love visitors...hospital, home, whatever. I do "hog" the baby a bit, but I can blame it on bonding or wanting to establish nursing or whatever.

With Liam, the only person who saw him besides me and DH shortly after birth was my mom. He went to NICU for the night (he was born at 5:30pm) and no one else came til he following evening. And then it was my brothers, their girlfriends, my dad, and mom. The people I wanted there. They brought a delicious dinner and it was great. My MIL, other extended family, and friends came to visit within the first week. But I wasn't ever overwhelmed or anything. I enjoyed having them fawn over my new baby!

With Kieran, my mom was present at birth again, but I didn't share and she didn't hold him until she came back later that evening (he was born at 6am) with my older son. My dad came too. But everyone else came later in the week. Which was fine. Even better, my MIL waited all the way til he was 6 weeks to visit ;) We don't have a lot of love lost, so it was nice to not have to host her sooner.

This time will be equally as free-for-all. My mom will be at the birth (as long as baby doesn't come between April 23-29th, which would be rather early) and everyone else will see baby after we come home from the hospital. We plan to leave in 24 hours again. It's just easier, given the new housing circumstances and the fact that my ILs will be in town the entire time :( I am just drawing all around boundaries. My parents understand they aren't in place for them, but to protect my sanity around my ILs. My friends will come in the first couple days too.

alittlelost March 29th, 2013 04:44 PM

Re: Visitors
my friend was there when the baby was born. after that, my husband and I went home (about an hour or two later) and I think people visited the next day...

Laurenj915 March 29th, 2013 06:36 PM

Re: Visitors
Right away and then when DS was 2 days old we took 48 hours ourselves and asked everyone to give us the weekend alone. Worked out great for us?

Memi March 30th, 2013 11:22 AM

Re: Visitors
Visitors immediately fled into our room after delivering DS. I didn't like it at all b/c it prevented DH and I from getting those intimate moments. This time I want *at least* an hour to ourselves before anyone comes to visit. I want to have that intimate first moments of meeting baby, breastfeeding and getting myself cleaned up before I have to worry about sharing him with anyone else ;)

NinjaCakes March 30th, 2013 01:32 PM

Re: Visitors
Glad to know I'm not the only one who doesn't want a million people running in and out. I know my family and BF's family will want to be there right away, but I'm going to be the mean one and tell them they have to wait. I want us to have some time alone to bond with our baby. This is a first for us and BF is going to be in all new water. It won't help him if everyone is taking the baby out of his arms and talking to him like he's an idiot (his family) because he doesn't know what to do.

Fortunately I can spare my moms feelings by telling her I have to apply the rules to everyone to be fair. Nobody will be watching me breastfeed for sure!

MissusF March 31st, 2013 12:35 PM

Re: Visitors
We had almost 48 hours before visitors came. She was born the morning of Feb 13th and a bunch of our friends stopped by the next day on their way to a Valentine's dinner :). I had a home birth and I think something about that weirds people out from visiting immediately like they do in the hospital. Our family is all out of state so it was a few days before they made it out.

daneeleigh April 1st, 2013 10:46 AM

Re: Visitors
We left the BC after four hours so no one visited. Plus our family lives out of town so our visitors over the next few days was our Doula and Nurse. I don't think anyone else came until he was a few days old. I'd love to have more visitors but it does make nursing ackward. At least it did for me then because he was my first. I doubt ill care too much this time lol.

Counting our Blessings April 1st, 2013 12:12 PM

Re: Visitors
Our family all live close (within minutes) but never get real excited about another baby, so they come more out of obligation than wanting to love on the newest member of the family. My mom is less than thrilled with us having a large family, so she'll stop by to get her picture taken with baby and that's it. Extended family really don't care to much. So, not much for visitors. Our kids come and always super excited, so that makes up for all of it!

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