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-   -   What the nurse said at my first appt. (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f789-our-pregnancies-and-our-earth-angels/1838608-what-nurse-said-my-first-appt.html)

noworries January 16th, 2010 05:18 AM

What the nurse said at my first appt.
So, I wrote a post about my first appt. (just an intake appt.) but it disappeared when they did the maintenance the other night. Anyway, I forgot to mention the nurse. While she was nice enough, she was afraid to talk about Eli's birth to me. She kept apologizing when she needed to ask me any questions about it or anything. And then she tells me this story. "My brother-in-law and sister-in-law's first baby had Trisomy 18. Do you know what Trisomy 18 is." My reply "Yes, my son had Trisomy 13." Then she goes on, "well, they had the same thing happen (stillbirth....she was too afraid to say the word) and then their next baby had it too. Even though it's like a 1 in 125,000 chance of it happening again, it happened again to them. But then they went on to have another baby that was fine."

Gee, thanks lady. I've been feeling okay about this pregnancy because the chance of it happening again is so low. But now, because of you, I know that the chance of it happening again is more likely than I first thought. Lovely.

Brittanie January 16th, 2010 07:44 AM

Re: What the nurse said at my first appt.
Yeah, stories like that are SO not helping. I wonder if they think that hearing a worse situation makes us feel better?

:dothug: The chances of it happening again ARE low honey.

grlpisces January 16th, 2010 10:18 AM

Re: What the nurse said at my first appt.
Oh for crying out loud, did she really need to share that story with you? And Brittanie's right ... do people expect that hearing a worse situation is supposed to make us feel better?

:dothug: to you. She really didn't need to go there.

MeganMomof5 January 16th, 2010 10:44 AM

Re: What the nurse said at my first appt.
(((Hugs))) That was just so wrong of her to do, i'm sorry :(

Kind of OT, but I went to my daughter's basketball game and one of the crazy mom's, started telling me about her SIL who lost a baby at 26 weeks, then started showing me pictures of her now on her Iphone, oh yeah and she's pregnant...I don't get why she was talking about her pregnancy and showing me pictures? it was just so very rude, she knew I just lost a baby...Oh and her breath stunk so bad ugh....I hate leaving my house.

Anyway, i'm sorry that happend the nurse should of just kept her mouth shut and should of known better.

claire1979 January 16th, 2010 12:10 PM

Re: What the nurse said at my first appt.
omg how dumb are some people seriously ugh :angry:

helen123 January 16th, 2010 08:39 PM

Re: What the nurse said at my first appt.
That brought back to the memories of the night I had Eric. This one nurse was very nice until she opened her mouth and said that a few weeks before me there was a lady who had a stillborn at a very late stage of her pregnancy and it happened to her 3 times already. Some people are just really dumb.

NutMeg76 January 16th, 2010 09:24 PM

Re: What the nurse said at my first appt.
What the heck?

LaLaLa1 January 17th, 2010 02:02 AM

Re: What the nurse said at my first appt.
This reminds me of when Jon and I were at the hospital holding Katrina and about to have to say our goodbyes to her. The hospital we delivered her at has a therapist that works there and she comes to visit families who have just experienced a loss / stillbirth. Well the day I was induced she had kept popping in all day to see how we were doing but she told us she wouldn't be available on the Saturday so she said she specifically called one of the other therapists to come in the next day (the day Katrina was actually born) to see how we were doing.

Well on the Saturday, the new therapist came in probably about an hour before we were about to say our goodbyes to Katrina and while she was nice enough, she said how her first was stillborn and then she went on to have a living child and then her third was also stillborn. I was SO terrified as we left the hospital that day. Yes, I understand that would be a horribly traumatic thing for her to go through, but I was a newly grieving mother and at the time I didn't know anything other than having to say goodbye to my baby girl and the fear of something like that happening again....well, ugh, I can't / don't want to even talk / think about that :(

:dothug: some people really think they're helping by just saying "something" rather than nothing, but they just don't understand how hard certain things can be to hear.

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