JustMommies Message Boards

JustMommies Message Boards (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/)
-   Our Stories (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f498-our-stories/)
-   -   Our Loss Stories (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f498-our-stories/176137-our-loss-stories.html)

hopin4a4rth March 28th, 2006 01:31 PM

LeedaRenee & I were talking and thought it might be nice to have a thread where we can share the stories of our losses & our current pregnancy if we want to. If you'd like to share, just reply & write your story here. To keep this thread from getting too long, if you'd like to reply to someone's story, please do so in the forum w/ their username in the Topic Title. :)

Thank you!!

SandKmommy May 8th, 2006 09:16 PM

I thought i would post here...

I got pregnant in July 2005, just after having an ovarian cyst burst, and then at 5 weeks I lost my baby on August 12th 2005, I didn't get AF for 61 days after that and the doctor had to bring on AF with a progesterone shot, the doctor isn't sure if he can count what came out of that shot as AF or not, because it was very light bleeding for 2 days(like one or two pads each day) then nothing and then spoting, then done. But what ever came out of it, it did finally cause me to ovulate and i got pregnant right after the shot.

I am currently 30 weeks pregnant, expecting on July 18th. Little Seamus is most likley to be born early because I am considred a High Risk Pregnancy because I have Gestational Diabetes, and because large babys run in my family. Seamus is currently meassuring a week a head which is good for now, but the doctor said at my 33 week appt, we will see if he is starting to get too big, and if my sugar levels can't stay down we will have to induce him early or do a scheduled C-Section.

MomE212 July 15th, 2006 09:42 AM

Ok some one had asked about my Loss Story I will try to get through it without tears so bear with me.

In August of 05 I started cramping and spotting only to find baby had quit growing at 5 weeks. I was then allowed to miscarry without surgery. One December 26, 2005 I got another BFP. Everthing was looking so good I was due in September. I went in at about 11 weeks to see the DR. He could not find the Heartbeat so we went into the US room and he checked out everything. They baby was fine moving and you could see the HB. I went in one month later and there was no HB again so back to the US room we went. And there was my baby with no blood flow or HB. I was devasted. He scheduled me for a D&E and I went in and had my surgery. Two weeks later when I went for my checkup I found out I had an infection and that was what caused the baby to pass away. I spent two weeks on 5,200 MG of antibiotics. And was on anti-depressants till I got this BFP on June 23, 2006. Now I am paranoid.

mom2be12007 July 15th, 2006 01:02 PM

Heres mine...
In March of 2001 I was pregnant with my first, so so excited, got to about 4 motnhs and had a nervous breakdown, causing my to go in to a shock like condition, causing the heartbeat to stop. I had a 2nd chance in Sept of 2005 I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant !!! I went in for my first u/s when I was 10 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I was then again pregnant in Nov and was so excited (3rd times a charm) and lost that one in early Dec. My man and I decided we were gonna wait a little while before trying agina, and then in April I realized I was having this little miracle, I am 14 1/2 weeks so I made it through the first trimester and the heart is still kicking nice and fast....so we are praying for this miracle to stay with us...

MegansMommy July 15th, 2006 02:04 PM

To many people have told me to come to this board.. i have had a few miscarriages 2 before i even knew i was pregnant... i am very irregular have periods sometimes only once a year maybe two times. My first and most memorable and its the only that scares me the most with this pregnancy is in 2000 i thought i was 3 months and it turns out the baby died at 9 weeks...i had a dc and went into depression right away. i had a neice that i basically raised who is now almost 5 who helped me make it through bt her dad recently sent her away for 4 years... that pretty much is killing me. they told me that it did not implant right. so now i am scared to death. I am 15 weeks pregnant.. at 6 weeks 3 days they saw the heartbeat and at my last checkup we heard the heartbeat. its drives me crazy waiting for each new check up i want this baby to move....so i know things are ok but i am overweight so i doubt that i will feel anything anytime soon but i am so lost and and worried alot......i know that if i lose this one it will be so much worse becuase i got fathur along.. i need somebody that has felt the same thing... somebody a friend.. i just want one healthy baby and i am afraid that is to much to ask. my Husband says if God wants us to have a baby we will.. if not we will deal with it......

Katlynsmommy July 15th, 2006 02:10 PM

Mine is short i got pg in may 2005 but m/c about a week later in june. had a reg af about 6wks after that then went 190 days with out af. finally dr put me on thyroid meds in january and whadda ya know in april of this year i got pg again! and hopefully this one is a sticker.which i am sure it is.if i ever lost this pg i would no know what to do! i am feeling movement so it would kill me!

Jill Renee August 10th, 2006 07:34 AM

I was so glad to come across this board last night. I am currently pregnanct and almost 7 weeks along. My DH and I have lost 2 babies in the last year. We have a 4 year old son that was a perfect pregnancy and delivery. I got pregnant when he was 3 and was ready for a new addition to our family. We lost our sweet sweet baby in week 6 of my pregnancy. I started bleeding and it would not stop and by the time I got my bloodwork done I knew I had already lost the baby. Next pregnancy we were excited and apprehensive and scared at the same time. Things seemed to be going so well and a few days when I was through my first trimester I called my dr office because of a pin drop of discharge that I had(really thought it was nothing). My dr had me come to hear the heartbeat. He looked at me and said you will be in and out we are going to hear that heartbeat no problem. Well when trying to find the heartbeat with the doppler he couldn't, so he pulled in the ultrasound cart. I could tell he could not find it because he turned the screen from me. At that point he pulled in the vaginal ultrasound cart and found nothing. I had not even brought my DH with me because it was not a big deal because we thought everything was fine. My dr still wasn't satisfied and had my go to the hospital for a full blown ultrasound(knowing at this time we had lost our baby). My nurse drove me there and my DH showed up immediately. The US was done and no heartbeat was found. The beauty of that ultrasound is that we have beautiful pictures of our baby showing the legs arms perfect face. The next day I had a D&C and pathology reports showed that they think a blood clot went through the umbilical cord causing my baby to die immediately. The funny thing with this pregnancy is we actually had a fertility appt today and was suppossed to take some med a few Fridays ago to make me start my period. Before I started the meds they told me to take one more preg test even though I had 2 neg ones just to make sure that I was not pregnant. I took it at 6:30 on a Friday night and sure enough it was positive. Had to imediately go in and have blood work done and so far everything is good. I am just scared to death.

ambee August 16th, 2006 06:43 PM

Thought I'd share my story as well. :closedeyes:
My DH and I got pregnant in May '05, right before he left for basic training in the Army. I miscarried a week later, and only a week before DH left for 6 months. We were finally back together in October and started TTCing right away. It took us 5 months to get pregnant again, and when we did we were soo hapy. I had some first trimester bleeding, but everytime we'd go in so afraid we'd los our baby there she'd be, happily kicking away! My last bleeding episode was around 9 or 10 weeks so when I went to my 16 week appointment I had no reason to think anything would be wrong. My midwife couldn't find the heartbeat via doppler so we went into the ultrasound room...there was no heartbeat. I was induced the following morning and after about 10 hours of labor I gave birth to my tiny daughter, Sophie Lucille. I'm now pregnant again but I started bleeding last night. I have a doctor's appt and ultrasound tomorrow, but I'm not feeling hopeful. I hope I won't have another baby to add to my losses...

mariahinkona August 17th, 2006 10:09 PM

Hi, my name's Mariah.

I miscarried this past October. I was 7 weeks and 3 days. I've been wanting a baby for so long and was thrilled when I got the positive results. I worked maternity and would hold the newborns and think that soon I would be holding my own. I started off feeling quesy and tired, but soon started feeling almost too good to be pregnant. I was having dreams about miscarrying the baby and was always telling my fiancee that I was so scared of losing the baby. I look back and think that before I even started spotting I felt very ill at ease with the pregnancy. My fiancee would get mad at me for thinking the worst, and even got angry at me when I called him to pick me up at work after an hour because I was spotting. The OBs at work said it was normal, but my heart said differently. The bleeding got worse that night, it was Monday. I took my fiancee to work his night shift and bawled all the way to the ER. I knew everyone there, I used to work there too, and the doctor found a heartbeat and sent me home with the only picture of the baby I'll ever have. I went to bed feeling better about seeing the heartbeat on the screen.

The next morning I got up to pick my SO from work and the spotting was worse, so I made an appointment. The nurse took one look inside with the speculum and sent me into a different room. Again a heartbeat, but I was told I was in the grey area. All I had was a back ache, I thought was due from my tension. Back at home, my SO was sleeping since he had to work graveyard again and my back was killing me. It hurt so bad I was crying. Then I felt like I had to poop. I kept trying to go, thinking that if I did I would feel better since it must just be constipation. But only clots and thick streams of blood came out. Finally I decided to take a bath and soak away my tension ache in my back. That's when the cramps in my stomach started. All I could do was roll around in the tub, I hurt too much to get up to get my fiancee or roomate and hurt too much to yell for help. The feeling of having to poop got so bad and I was so scared because the clots were getting so big. Finally I passed a lump of grey tissue. The pressure and the worst of the pain eased. I sat there till the water got cold holding my baby, knowing exactly what it was since I'd seen them before at work. Finally I got up and woke my fiancee up saying something came out of me. He came and looked at it and called my best friend, a nurse and confirmed it while I cried in the tub.

For days I felt so lost and mad at everyone. My roommate found out she was pregnant the next day and then tried to abort it with a wild mixture of pills and dope two weeks later. But she kept it. We moved out the next day. I still detest her for it. Why did she get to keep her baby when I loved mine, wanted it but lost it?

Well, good news now. I'm 8 1/2 weeks now. I'm having symptoms I didn't have before. I'm feeling good about this pregnancy, though I'm still nervous. I passed the time I lost the first baby. I was due June 3 with the first, got preggers about a week after my bday June 25 and a week before the daddy's. So it's our birthday present, can't lose this one! This doctor I have now is understanding and compassionte, I've already had two scans. Both good. I pray for all of you that are pregnant after a loss or that just went through one.

Brittanie August 29th, 2006 01:24 PM

Just so I don't have to type it out again, here's a link to my pg loss journal.

tabitwhe September 5th, 2006 08:01 PM

I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of April. I was about 6 weeks. I knew something was going on right from the strat because I didnt feel good any of the time and had that "Mother's Instinct" feeling. I told my husband about 2 weeks later. He was exstatic but I still had my doubts because I knew something wasnt right. I had very severe headaches, stomach cramps, spotting, low blood pressure and hypoglycemic. I couldn't even wwalk through the store without passing out. Within the first 2 months after I found out about the pg I lost about 15 pounds due to morning sickness. Every 3 weeks I went to the DR and he listened to the heartbeat. Always sounded good. But at every visit he said something about a miscarriage. That also made me very nervous.

On July 4th I had severe cramps. Couldn't get out of bed. Everyone said I looked like the life was being drained out of me. On July 11th I went in to the Dr for an ultra sound. My mom and 2 little girls were with me. The Dr was trying to see if it was a boy or a girl. But he wouldnt let us see. He even wiggled my stomach to see if the baby would let him see but nothing.

That next saturday July 15th I woke up to go to work and the spotting had changed colors so I went straight to the closest hospital. My hospital was an hour away and I didnt want to drive that far by myself. When i got there the nurse said she couldnt find a heartbeat and sent me to u/s. I had picked my husband up on my way so I wasnt alone. He had went outside to use the phone when they took me to u/s the nurse couldnt find anything and didnt say anything except I need to get the radiologist and walked out. He came in and said "Maam your baby does not have a heartbeat" I was alone and freaked out! They insisted I had to be induced and deliver him. I begged them not to make me do that but they said my uterus would bust if they try to take him by surgery.

They enduced me and all i need was a loratab for pain. I deleivered him On July 16, 2006 at 5:35 pm He was 6.6 oz and 8 1/4 in long. It took a while before I got to see him. The reason he passed away was because he had a double cord accident. The cord was wrapped so tightly around his neck they could barely get it off. and it was also tied in a "true not".

Come to find he had been gone for over a week almost 2. So the day I had the u/s he was gone and since that one time the DR didnt check the heartbeat he didnt know or just didnt tell me. WHen I went back and looked at the u/s from that day Alex never moved during it and you can't see a heartbeat anywhere.

I named him Alexander Wayne (the great protector). I got to hold and see him as well as my grandparents, parents and one of my sisters. It is something I will always remember. And I thank GOD everyday that they made me be induced or I never wouldve had that chance.

I said I would never go back to that DR! Unless it was to beat the mess out of him (LOL) So i started going to the on call DR that was at the hospital when I delivered him. I had to go in a few 2 weeks after because of severe pain and he did nothing. Asked me what was going on wrote a RX and walked out. And thats it. I was so mad! At that time my original DR didnt know anything about what was going on. He was on vacation! After I called him and told him what happened he called me and asked me to come in and talk to him. I did and we talked for a long time. MAde me feel a little better but I still was unsure about him.

He started me on Lexapro and BC(this was 2 weeks after we loat Alex). I took it for about a week and something told me to stop. Besides the fact that the Lexapro was making me worse than I was before.

Over the next 2 weeks I started noticing that some of my pregnancy symptoms were coming back. Didnt want anyone to touch me while I was sleeping. no appetite, gums bleeding at night. I didnt think nothing about it. Thought there was no way I was preg already. I went to the DR on August 29 for my 6 week check up and told the nurse about my concerns so she did a pg test and it was a BFP! I didnt beleive her at first and made her show me the test.

I am still not staying with this Dr. Just going to him for now till I can change to a local DR. I will never trust him completely no matter how nice he is

mommymel78 September 26th, 2006 05:53 PM

Hi all....

I have had 3 miscarriages. My first was in December, 1999. We had gone in for our 12 week appointment & in hopes of hearing the heartbeat. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. No spotting, pains, etc. Our doctor couldn't find it with the doppler, so he had us go in for an ultrasound. That is when we found out that the heart had stopped at 9 weeks. I was in shock & took it really hard. We didn't try until the next August, I got pregnant really quick & not soon after started bleeding that was the second miscarriage. I got pregnant with my 1st son a month later. I did start spotting early & thought for sure I would miscarry but my doctor did an ultrasound & I saw the heartbeat. It was so wonderful to see. He also did blood work & found that my progesterone was low, so I was prescribed progesterone suppositories. After that it was smooth sailing. My second son I was put on the suppositories right away (had a different doctor due to military moves) & had an early ultrasound, never had a problem during the pregnancy.

My 3rd miscarriage was this May, it was a suprise to us we weren't trying, but we were really happy. Again I had a new doctor due to another move, this time I had a lot of trouble trying to get them to put me on progesterone. I had to be passed around by nurses & doctors & then finally they put in a prescription at about 8 weeks. Five days later I started bleeding. I tried to get them to let me in to get an ultrasound but it was a no. Finally after spotting a lot & cramping I went into the ER. Had an ultrasound which had me measuring at only 6 weeks. I knew that was impossible because I was 9 weeks. That was when I knew I had miscarried. I can't help but feel that it's because I had such a hard time getting them to put me back on progesterone, but who knows.

So pregnant again 3 months later, as soon as I knew I was pregnant (a faint line) I was calling & demending that they put me on it. Thankfully it didn't take as much effort as last time & I got on it at only 4 weeks. I just hope that things go better for us this time around.

one_wish December 20th, 2006 04:56 PM

[font=Comic Sans Ms][size=1]Hello I came across this board and feel maybe this will help me through the pain I am feeling from my loss. My Name is Victoria, I am 15 and just lost my baby. My mom had wrote on this site and told me about it ...so here goes my story.

It was Oct 11th 2006...My mom took me to have a blood test done...And like I knew it was gonna be it came back positive. I was so happy....As was my mom later. Me and my mom are very close and we started right away to plan for this new baby. Had names picked out and was looking online to what we wanted to make the nursery. In my 8th week of pregnancy I went to my first Dr appointment and he did a U/S and for the first time I saw my little baby's heartbeat. The dr had told me that my baby was doing fine and looked good...So I stopped drinking all the soda's and eating all the junk food.....And started eating healthy and chewing my food so the baby dont choke... :blush:

Well at almost the end of my 10th week (12-13-06) it was about 9:30 in the night and I felt something come out of me...I went to the bathroom and it was some blood.....My mom took me to a midwife and she said it was because I had a yeast infection and put me on complete bedrest. Well that Saturday I had turned 11 weeks and I went to my Dr and he told me to stop crying and to let him check...I had only passed like 3 clots at this time....Well my Dr took me back did another U/S and said baby was fine and checked my cervix and said it was still closed...Well when we ledt my mom told me she didnt beleive him because when she was looking at the screen on the U/S she didnt see any heartbeat or baby.....We asked the Dr about why we didnt see the Heartbeat and he said that it was still to soon.....but in my 8th week he showed us the heartbeat..... :wacko:

Well we left there and went to go get the progesterone shots and pills that he said to get and we went home. Wel that Sunday I passed more then a clot it was white in color....But i still hadnt had any pain or cramps....Well Monday i go back to my dr and he said yes that was the baby.....he was very rude to my mom and i really wont get into why....but Monday afternoon i had a D-n-C...

I am home now...and it is Wednesday.......All I can think about is why? My mom says it was God's will.....And I will accept it......I will always think of my baby but just know why it happened so close to my second trimester......I pray to God that he takes the loss feeling from me and replaces it with another baby someday.....I hope my story helps others and gives them a piece of mine as me reading these has gave me hope and a piece of mind....

Gaby&Emmy'sMama January 11th, 2007 01:41 AM

I found I was pregnant on November 9, 2005 - at the end of our 3rd cycle TTC. I was over the moon about the baby, but on November 15 I began spotting. Everyone told me to think positive, and that it didn't MEAN I was miscarrying, but I knew I was. November 19th, I lost my baby while I was at the mall with my sister. I was only 5w4d along, but to me, my baby was my baby - and I grieved a lot.

February 7 2006 I found out I was pregnant with my daughter Gabrielle - and after what was a relatively easy pregnancy, I gave birth to her via emergency c/s (due to meconium being present in amniotic fluid) on October 26th, 2006...

Today she is 11 weeks old, and I am still so amazed that she's really here, and that I'm finally a Mummy.... I never imagined that I would be able to carry a baby through to full term, and take him/her home with me.. but here I am :)

greenchild January 18th, 2007 03:30 PM

We had just been "letting nature take its course" as far as TTC for 1 1/2 yrs before I got pg in June 2006. I got 1 week of happy knowledge before I knew something was wrong on July 14th, the day before my birthday - horrible cramp high up on the left side and then absolutely awful sciatic nerve pain. Turned out it was ectopic and the blood was occasionally hitting that nerve.
I had thought it was ectopic right away and went into the dr 4 times (but saw different ones because mine wasn't available) before they finally agreed with me. They let me bleed internally (also was bleeding from the tube into my uterus) for 3 weeks, and were still trying to convince me even at the last appt that I was having a natural m/c and I practically begged them to take another look, which is when they finally discovered where I was bleeding from, the left tube. So I was scheduled for surgery the next day, and the whole thing was just a mess, the drs and the nurses couldn't get their stories straight and I was scheduled for procedures I was told I would not be having. I made them wait to take me in until I spoke with the dr myself. Once the surgery was over, the dr had a very minimal conversation with my husband, didn't let him ask any questions and walked away. Nobody knew what had happened during the surgery so I called the drs office several times after the surgery and got no call back.
I actually had to wait 3 weeks at my post op to find out what really happened. (I did watch the tape but there's no dictation with it.) They took my left tube, which was unnecessary since it had not completely ruptured. Well, it's not like I can have them put it back in now! Then the dr told me he was positive it was twins, one in the tube and one in the uterus because he had removed a tiny piece of tissue from my uterus that looked like very deteriorated fetal tissue. He said it was so far gone that he was not suprised when the pathoology report on it said it wasn't fetal tissue, but he is certain that it was. If it truly, truly was a twin then it must have stopped developing right away because I never felt anything in my uterus like you're supposed to during pregnancy. Never even had the cramps common with miscarriage (of course, that was part of the reason I was sure right away it was ectopic).
Anyway, that dr himself is good, but the other drs there and the nursing staff are absolutely horrible so I will not be returning to that hospital, which is unfortunate bc it is about 6 blocks away. I found a new clinic I love that is 1 1/2 hours away but they're worth it so far!!! The good news is that I finally got my BFP this morning and wow, this is already SO different from the last one. I pray that this is the one for us!

7/6/2008 ETA:
I had forgotten I posted this. I lost that pregnancy too. I went into the ER in late January 07 at 5 1/2 weeks or so with bleeding and pain on my right side. The u/s tech said it was just a cyst on my right ovary and sent me home. They did not see a baby inutero, and said it was just too early to see anything. They sent me home, and I began cramping and bleeding and I passed something grayish pink a little bigger than a grain of rice. I thought I had miscarried and that it was over. Well, I do still believe that was a baby, seeing comparable pics. But when i went back in for a follow up appt, my betas were rising again and the dr was sure it was ectopic. Problem was, he REFUSED to do an u/s!!! I asked several times but to no avail. He was only going by my bloodwork. The numbers were rising, but slower than normal. He kept pushing methotrexate and I kept refusing it, wanting proof that there was no baby inutero first. Finally, on the date of my nurse's appt where they make you watch a video and talk to the nurse, they finally gave me an u/s, where they did confirm there was no baby, but there was free fluid in my abdomen so they scheduled me for surgery immediately. It was in my right tube, and it ruptured the entire length of the tube so the dr took the whole thing, leaving me with no tubes. Well, technically I have 1/2 of the left one, but not enough to conceive with.

Fast forward to fall of 2007, and we did IVF. We transferred 2 embies and froze the remaining 3. Because I was so disgusted with the OB from the last pregnancy, who refused to do an u/s, I tried my old OB again. Problem is, he's never available when something goes wrong with me!! A nurse practitioner did the first fetal u/s on 12/26/07 and saw what she *thought* was evidence of 2 embies. One had a yolk sac, and she said it looked like the other had implanted but collapsed already and was disentegrating. 3 days later I was in the ER with pain in my shoulder. My RE thought I might have a blood clot. It took the ER people seven hours to find the problem. There was indeed 2 babies, but one had implanted into the tiny opening of my right tube, right where it had been removed (corneal ectopic) and it ruptured my uterus. This baby was beautiful, all wiggly and with a strong heartbeat. It was just in the wrong place. It is the most horrible feeling in the world to see that and know the dr is going to go in and kill it. The other baby, the yolk sac, was in the right place, but it wasn't really developing so they told me I was going to m/c that one. She didn't know what the "thing" the NP saw on the u/s but she said it definitely wasn't a baby. How she completely missed the big one 3 days earlier, I don't know. Anyway I had a 50% blood loss and spent 2 nights in the hospital and a 6 - 8 week recovery. I was told that I was going to m/c the other one, but my body seemed to refuse - my baby bump kept getting bigger. When I went in at 12w for another u/s, there was no yolk sac at all, just a big empty sac. I couldn't have a D&C bc of the recent rupture, and my RE had advised against taking the methotrexate, said it could hurt my chances with IVF. So I had to wait it out. Finally, at abour 15w I ended up in the ER with horrible cramping (contractions) and gushing blood, where I finally m/c that one in the wee hours of 2/23/08.

The chances of having an ectopic pg in the first place are slim. to have another when your remaining tube is pronounced "perfect" is an even smaller chance. But to have 2 heterotopic (one in the uterus, one in the tube) pregnancies is unheard of. Then the IVF one turned out to be heterotopic too. Who on earth has 3 freakin' heterotopics????? Apparently me. <_<

So fast forward to June 08, where we did our frozen embryo transfer. We had 3 frozen's left, and only planned to transfer one. Unfortunately no one told the embryologist, and she, as normal practice, thawed out two. The first one disentegrated completely (non-viable) and then 2nd one, 3 out of 7 cells disentegrated, giving that one a 50-50 chance of even surviving. So she thawed out the last embie, which thankfully turned out perfect. So we transferred the good one and the not-so-good one. The RE said he did a lower placement this time too, as corneal ectopics, although less than a 1% chance of happening with IVF, happen more often when the placement is higher (like last time). I also see specialists now, for high risk pregnancies.

So here I am, pg again, out of babies and out of money (IVF is expensive!!!) and we hope for the best. I hope I never have to add to this post again.

~CaSsAnDrA07~ January 24th, 2007 09:24 PM

My name is Cassandra i am 24 years old Currently 34 weeks pregnant ....when i was 19 years old i got pregnant and i had a missed miscarriage at around 8 weeks.....and i had to have a d&c well i tried to get pregnant after that and nothing happened my periods were irragular i would have about 3 maybe 4 periods a year and when i would have them they would be very very painful and i would bleed a lot..my sister got pregnant last year and had her baby May of this year when she got pregnant it took me over 4 years to get pregnant i started thinking that i might have endometrious because the periods were do painful even like 1-2 weeks before i would start them.. i don't know what else it could have been except maybe ovulation...i...when i had my miscarraige at 19 years old my mother told me when god thinks its a right time for you to have a child you will have one and i guess at 19 i was to young...

SandyJ May 23rd, 2007 03:05 PM

I've never written my miscarriage story before. I hope this helps put away some of the fears I have for my current pregnancy.

My DH and I got pregnant for the first time last year. We were being careless and the pregnancy was a surprise. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be a Mom, but as soon as I found out I was pregnant we both wanted the child very much. I was definitely ignorant of the symptoms of pregnancy and was convinced I was suffering from on-and-off walking flu or a stomach virus. My Mom told me I was pregnant, but 2 at-home pregnancy tests came back negative. Finally I went to see a OBGYN (about two weeks after the last negative home test) and she confirmed I was 12 weeks pregnant! I guess I ran into a batch of faulty pregnancy tests...

My first u/s was amazing. At 15 weeks we saw a gorgeous baby kicking and playing in my belly. My pregnancy was so real for me at that moment. I still wasn't feeling the baby too much, but there she was in black and white, and boy was she an active baby! As the weeks passed I could feel her more and more, but I also felt increasingly uncomfortable. As soon as my pregnancy was confirmed I immediately embraced a healthy diet, and as a result of my diet change, I thought, I was steadily losing weight (I dropped a pound or two at every doctor's visit). I'm a big girl so no one was worried about the weight loss. But despite the weight loss my belly felt heavier and firmer, and it wasn't really growing. But the baby was still moving up a storm and everything else seemed normal. At 18 weeks the heartbeat was hard to find, but it was there.

Then at 20 weeks I went in for my u/s to find out the sex of my baby. My family was so excited my Mom and sister came in from out of town to go to the appointment with me. My first u/s was so amazing I wanted to share the experience! I don't know why, but I felt really bummed that day. I should have been so excited to find out my baby's gender but I couldn't shake this really low feeling that something wasn't right. Mom picked up on it and kept patting my hand in the waiting room. When we went in for the u/s it wasn't like the first one. I could immediately tell that the picture was different because the black womb wasn't there. All we could see was the grey hazy color of my body. The tech finally found the baby but we could barely make her out or distinguish her body from my body. It was all a hazy grey. She took alot of measurements of the baby and never could see the genital area well enough to determine the sex. The u/s was over and we were shuffled into an examining room to wait for the doctor. The longer the wait stretched the scareder I got. At one point a nurse came in to try to find the heartbeat, tried for awhile and couldn't find it, and summoned another nurse to come help. The second nurse finally found it and it sounded normal.

Finally the doctor came in and asked us to join her in her office. She informed us that her u/s tech could find no amniotic fluid in my womb. This was very dire, she said, because the baby cannot develop lungs without amniotic fluid. There could be a very few reasons why there was no fluid present, and none of them were likely to result in a healthy baby. She also said that measurements of the baby showed that she was undersized and her head was slightly malformed. The doctor had scheduled an emergency appointment for me the next Monday (this was Thursday) with the resident high risk pregnancy specialist in the main wing of the hospital (my OBGYN office is in the physicians' wing of a hospital).

I spent the weekend in a state of numb terror, trying to embrace a scrap of hope that things could work out, but not having received any assurances from my doctor. I went to the mall with Mom and sister to try to distract myself that Saturday and cruelly it seemed it was national "parade your gorgeous, healthy newborn in its stroller" day.

On Monday we saw the specialist for a high tech u/s and an amniocentesis. He used the amnio needle to pump my womb full of fluid which was a bizarre feeling. So this is what I should have really been feeling? He wanted to test to see if the lack of fluid was due to a leak or tear in my womb. That test was negative as I didn't immediately expel the liquid. His final diagnosis was that our baby had Potter's Syndrome. To put it simply, Potter's means that the baby is unable to produce urine, which makes up the amniotic fluid in the latter 2/3s of pregnancy (Mom produces the amniotic fluid for the 1st trimester). The inability to produce urine can be because one or more of the kidney's didn't develop or there is a blockage somewhere in the digestive tract. The baby had not begun developing lungs and would not develop lungs without amniotic fluid. There was no way to keep fluid in my belly. The lack of amniotic fluid had likely been an issue for several weeks, and as a result the baby's head and legs hadn't been supported in liquid and were unable to form properly. My baby wouldn't survive labor, but could possibly survive to full term. I was given the option to induce and numbly, I took it.

After 36 hours of labor I gave birth to a stillborn and the nurses were finally able to tell me it was a little girl. Neither my DH nor I could bear to look at her, so they whisked her away immediately. My Mom and sister asked and were allowed to go hold her. I'm very grateful they got that chance, and I have never regretted that I didn't hold her myself. I know myself, and I know I would allow the image of my dead little girl to forever taint my precious memories of her as a living child within me. The nurses lovingly made me a care package that consisted of beautiful pictures they took of her, a little dress and cap they had dressed her in that was handmade by a local charity for miscarried or stillborn babies, a little beanie baby squirrel that was put in my daughter's arms, and a memory book. I took the package home with me and after grieving for some time, I was finally able to open it for the first time and enjoy my memories of my daughter, with sadness, but with fondness too.

Now I mainly look back on the good times I had with my daughter and the excitement of my first pregnancy. I miscarried my baby at 5 months in October of last year. My husband and I are now thrilled that we are almost 8 weeks pregnant. I'm not worried about an early miscarriage, but I am worried about Potter's Syndrome coming to haunt me again. 5 months is a long time to wait to be sure. But I am optimistic and know that my first little girl will be an angel for our new baby.

Cheri K July 11th, 2007 08:30 PM

Hi I am an Angel mommy also. I was 38 weeks with my Angel Robyn. It was pretty much a normal pregnancy. Other than I did not gain alot of weight with her. I was not feeling her move. So I called the doctor. They told me to drink OJ and do kick counts. I drank..and drank. Nothing.. so I called again. They told me to come in right away. This was the worst day of my life. They put the doppler on my belly. NOTHING>>> just silence. So then they got the US machine. Just to make sure. Still could only see her. But no heartbeat. She was gone. I was devastated. I had a US on that thursday. Doctor told me everything looked great. Then that Friday I didnt feel her move. They kept something from me. I know they did. I wanted to have her right then. I did not want to go home. I just wanted to hold her. They would not let me. They said they didnt have the staff. So sent me home. So I sat at home with my angel inside of me until Monday. When they finally induced me. I got to hold my angel, dress her and bathe her. She was beautiful. My heart aches for her every day. Even after 13 years. I have created a website in her honor. Please feel free to see it. If you dont feel comfortable I understand that also. http://myangelrobyn.tripod.com//index.html

I am also the proud mommy of 2 daughters. Penny who will be 12 in September. She is type 1 Diabetic. She knows about her older sister. We have done memorial walks together for her. Then I have Desiree' she will be 6 in September. Some day soon she will know about her older sister also. I know all of us have had our losses. I hate having to meet and talk like this. We all have one main connection. Our angels playing together in heaven.

happyandwaiting July 16th, 2007 01:07 PM

I found out Nov. 8th that my husband and I were 3weeks in to pregnancy with our fourth child. We were so happy, in Dec. a few days after christmas I had bad pains and was rushed to the hospital. Then we found out that we were having twin girls. We were shocked but stilll very happy. One twin was bigger then the other but both were healthy.

March 5th was my first official u/s I was happy and I even thought I felt them moving. I layed on the table and he moved the monitor towards me and their was nothing. My babies were just still nothing and there weight was the same as the time I was rushed to the hospital. I knew then that they were gone, I cried so bad because I really wanted my babies.

God has truly blessed my husband and I with this new pregancy and I thank him everyday. I though I was never going to be able to do it again because that experience took alot out of me. I love being a mother and I though I failed by losing my girls.

neonhorn22 September 19th, 2007 09:19 AM

My husband and I had our first child in 2004 with no problems. It did take us 7 months to get pregnant with her, but no problems before that or during.

We waited two years before we tried for our second, in 2006. We used an ovulation kit this time around and got pregnant on the first try. We were completely ecstatic that Rachel would finally have that little brother or sister. I wasn't sick, had no cramps, and was feeling great. All of our doctor's appointments went well. We saw a heartbeat at 8 weeks and the nurse said everything was looking good and on track. I had no reason to expect a miscarriage because we never had problems before. When I was just at 10 weeks, I started having cramping that felt like I was starting my period. I was teaching lessons and had to wait till I got home to find that I was bleeding when I wiped. That was on a Thursday. I went to the ER on Thursday night. They couldn't really tell me anything. They sent me to my doctor on Friday who tested my HCG levels. I definately lost the baby Saturday afternoon. I felt it pass and it was horrible. I went back in on Monday for another HCG test to confirm my levels had dropped. They had. This was one week before Thanksgiving. I was devastated and didn't want to try again.

We waited almost a whole year to start trying again. I am now 7 weeks pregnant and I am scared every day that this will be the day I miscarry again. I've been incredibly nauseous and I've had cramping on and off for almost 2 weeks now with no spotting or bleeding. I have no idea if this is normal, but I'm very scared. I'm almost 30 and I'm overweight. I feel like if this one doesn't work, I can't do anymore. We already have one healthy daughter and I'm happy for that.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:28 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright © 2003-2012 JustMommies.com, All Rights Reserved.