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-   -   I need help and I dont know were to turn (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f125-post-partum-depression/1937368-i-need-help-and-i-dont-know-were-to-turn.html)

mimi1 April 9th, 2010 12:56 PM

I need help and I dont know were to turn
Hi, my name is Dominique I have ADHD I was diagnose with cancer in 2006 and had chemo from 2007-to last month (March2010). I am a wreck right now. I am mad at my DH for no reason, my son keeps been suspend from school for all kind of reason, lots and lots of trouble to keep my house clean and keep the laundry wash so everything is just accumulating. I donít want to stay in my house cause of that so I go out and of course I have to spend money that I donít have. I am on medication and I think is the 4 kind that I tried and now I am very close of cracking and just leaving and never come back. I went to see the doctor and he keep saying that I have to let the chance of the medication to take effect and sometime it can take up to6-12 month to see a difference. I donít have time to go see a social worker to talk about my problem since I have 3 very active boys and work, school, sports, cleaning, ect.... I can call my family to help me cleaning my house because it is a mess and I donít want them to see that. What can I do or where can I turn

JessP April 11th, 2010 02:55 PM

Re: I need help and I dont know were to turn
That is tough. Sounds like you are feeling very overwhelmed right now. I would try to take baby steps. Don't look at all the laundry, just do one load each day, start to finish, washed, dried and put away. Then remind yourself hey I did that, I will get through this. "I beat cancer for goodness sake I can do anything!" Sometimes we have to tell the negative nancy in our brain to take a hike. Maybe when you are feeling like leaving the house you could just go for a walk around the neighborhood. It would keep you from spending money and you would get the benefit of being outside and some exercise to boot. As for the meds yes they can take a bit to start working usually a couple weeks though not 6-12 months. That seems a bit extreme to me. Although I am by no means a dr :). I would say start slow with some of the house stuff and see if you can feel better by putting yourself back in control. Then you might not need the meds. I would maybe sit down with my child and have a heart to heart and see if I could get to the bottom of his rebellion. Perhaps something is bothering him and he doesn't know how to deal with it. I know when my mom was sick and having brain surgeries, my grades nose dived and I started skipping class, hanging out with the "wrong" crowd. My sister and I just needed some attention. We went from being the center to being ignored. Perhaps he just needs more family time to help him come back around. Game nights, or movie nights, or pizza nights, something like that. Dinners as a family during the week where you talk about your day. It might be rough at first but over time should get better. I hope that you can find some things that will help you feel better and more in control. :hug:

andi2284 April 15th, 2010 08:42 AM

Re: I need help and I dont know were to turn
I agree with Jess's advice. It helped me to look at each task individually when I felt like that. It also helps to force yourself to tackle it instead of avoiding it. I always found when I was gone for a day and came home to a messy house, I felt even more overwhelmed by it all. It helped to put it in perspective (and still does), by telling myself "This will only take 10 minutes to do" which reminds me that within an hour, I can easily have the house picked up and dishes and laundry done. It's usually just a start to everything I have to do (We all know the work never ends when you have children!) but it's a good start. When there's chaos in my house, I feel like there's chaos in my life/mind. There's definitely a connection for me to with those 2 things.

I agree that is can take some time for medication to kick in. Maybe to see a full effect, it can take up to 6 months. I'm 3 months into my medication and I'm still seeing slow improvement with some things. However, I started feeling better after just a few weeks and things slowly have gotten better since then. I still have occasional bad days, and I try to just take those as they come and use some coping techniques to get through them.

Talking about things can also help. I know it's hard when you have a busy family, but it may be worth it if it helps you feel better. :hug: Hang in there mama, we're always here when you need to talk!

JessP May 9th, 2010 04:21 PM

Re: I need help and I dont know were to turn
mimi1 how are you doing? Are things getting better? Pop in and let us know when you have a chance.

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