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-   -   A question for you ladies (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/129572-question-for-you-ladies.html)

hustons January 8th, 2006 09:45 AM

HI Ladies,

I am in the process of miscarrying right now. I am scheduled for a D&C (if needed) tomorrow morning. My husband and I knew this was coming for about a week now which is why I'm feeling ok posting here (insetad of hiding under my covers!). We really really REALLY want a child. Of course right now my feelings are this: why try again if a MC is just going to happen again!? I know I wont feel like this is a few weeks....it's all part of the greiveing process. I just have two questions:

1. How many times did you all MC before having a normal healthy pregnancy?

2. Did you do anything differently to make a successful pregnancy happen?

Thanks for your help ladies. Someone said to me in another post that she is banking on the thought that lightening wouldn't strike the same place twice.....but in the pregnancy world....that really isn't a belief that I can bank on....so how do you get through the thought of "when am I going to lose this one?" :feedback:

Rina42308 January 8th, 2006 10:10 AM

Hi sweetie...i am sorry asbout your m/c...i saw your post and replied on the other board. I just found out I am pg. I am only like 3 weeks along. Anyway I've had 2 m/c's but lost 3 babies because my second m/c were twins. After the second m/c my b/f and I went through testing to find out if there was anything wrong. my dr found that I had a uterine septum and performed surgery to remove it in Sept. It's a condition where there is tissue dividing the cavity of the uterus not allowing enough blood flow for the babies to survive. After the surgery was completed and he declared it a success he said it was the largest septum he had ever seen and that I would no way have been able to carry a baby to term with it. My dr then told me not to get pg for 3 months...it has been exactly 3 months Dec. 21...i conceived Dec.24...as you can see I wasted no time :)...what I wanted to say to you is that I know m/c is a confusing heartbreaking time...i have had 10 months to deal with all of this...I have been at the bottom of the barrell in regards to my feelings about myself...I have wondered if I am even destined to ever have a child. Like you I want a family so badly. After my first m/c I thought getting pg right away would fill the pain that I was experiencing...it made the second m/c so much harder. I just want to encourage you to give yourself some time to mourn...even if just a day...maybe write your baby a letter or do something to commemorate her/his exisitence. i recommend this because it will help you ahve some bit of closure to all that has happened...I'm not saying the worry or pain will ever go away but it lessens in time and I found the best way to deal with it was to do just that DEAL with it. In some ways I thank God I had to wait all these months before ttc again...it gave me the much needed time to grieve. Everyone is different so i'm not saying you have to wait as long as I did but I do highly suggest dealing with your loss and not "repalcing" it (for lack of a better word) with another pg. this way when you do get pg again you will not have anything too major creeping up in the back of your head regarding the last loss.
After 2 m/c you better believe I am on pins and needles. i don't know that I will ever relax. Every twinge scares me. I am hoping that my pg is successful...and praying. that's all I can do i guess. I'm not yet ready to give up on my dream of my own child.

Blessings B January 8th, 2006 06:53 PM

What a wonderful outlook on life. G-d bless. I had one m/c , that had all the labor signs, but my Doc says it is likely I had several more. He said I probably thought they were just really heavy AF> I stopped all medical stuff and relaxed, hit the beach for a month. Wallah pg. Due June 06. Good Luck B

pcgirl January 13th, 2006 02:16 PM

1. How many times did you all MC before having a normal healthy pregnancy? I had two prior m/c approx 6-7 yrs ago. I did not realize that a d and c would slow the process of getting pregnant again...and I had a lot of medical problems that I didnt know about back then.

2. Did you do anything differently to make a successful pregnancy happen? Not on purpose. My DH and I found out that I have a reverse cervix so that it's pointing toward the back. Because of his back injuries, we had to change our normal position when we had sex. We don't know if this is the reason, but it seems logical to the both of us. I also lost 30lbs, got into better shape and started to watch my diet. I became much more healthy...plus the DR figured out that I has hypothyroidism and put me on meds for it.

My last m/c was when I was around 16wks. It was very difficult since I went into labor and everything. That probably was the worst. My first m/c I barely knew that I was preggo and hadn't even seen a dr for it. When it happened there was so much blood that I had to see the dr about it..that's when he told me I had a m/c. My periods were never regular and there were even times when I would go a year without one.

Now I'm preggo again and have made it to 18 weeks. I feel a little safer now, but it still worries me (and will keep worrying me until I have it).

countrybaby January 13th, 2006 04:20 PM

I am so sorry to hear about your m/c. :(

1. How many times did you all MC before having a normal healthy pregnancy?

I miscarried twice before this pregnancy.

2. Did you do anything differently to make a successful pregnancy happen?

I multiplied my prog. cream dosage...but that's really all I did differently.

Julia0406 January 13th, 2006 04:35 PM

I had my daughter on November 12, 2004 without any real problems. I then had my first and only miscarriage on October 15, 2005. I got pregnant again on November 5, 2005, so right now I'm just hoping and praying that all goes well with my baby. So far, so good.

My dr told me that everyone is different. I was suppose to wait at least 1-2 periods after my miscarriage but I didn't. This puts me at a higher risk, but all seems to be well so far.

Good luck and have another baby as soon as you feel ready. That's just my opinion of course though.

hopin4a4rth January 14th, 2006 07:39 AM

I'm sorry to hear of your m/c too. :( It's a difficult thing to go through.

1. How many times did you all MC before having a normal healthy pregnancy?
I M/C'd twice before this pregnancy. I'm now in the second trimester & things are going well so far.

2. Did you do anything differently to make a successful pregnancy happen?

I waited 2 cycles and made sure to continue taking my prenatals eve through the m/c. But I don't think those things made this a successful pregnancy... they just helped me to be healthier.

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