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-   -   Staying Positive (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/194293-staying-positive.html)

he910 April 27th, 2006 07:52 AM

I just needed to vent alittle and this is a better place then my DDC since you all understand me better....so knock on wood everything has been going good so far and I was staying so positive. Then yesterday at our 3rd u/s the baby was measuring 2 days under where I thought he/she would be so now I've gone into panic mode - if you missed my post yesterday baby was 7 weeks 1 day a week ago and then 7 weeks 6 days yesterday rather then where I hoped which would be 8 weeks 1 day. I'm now assuming the worst and getting so negative again when I was doing so good for awhile. The dr said its fine and I know many of you were so kind to make me feel better but today I'm just feeling really down. We've had 3 losses and we want this baby so badly and I dont want to think bad thoughts but they're invading my head and I don't know how to stop it. I want to be positive I do but yesterday has really done a number on me. I also hoped by now my symptoms would be getting stronger but I feel the same so that doesn't reassure me.

It's just a bad day for me I guess and just needed to talk and see if maybe any of you have advice on how you stayed positive and strong. Thank you all!

koakoba April 27th, 2006 08:27 AM

:dothug: One day at a time. That's all I have really. It is how I got by so far. Try to find something else to focus on - did you get a h/b rate? I had this same thing happen. I measured 2 days low at my 6 week scan and spazed out about it. At my 8 1/2 week scan bean was 3 days ahead. My due date has already changed 4 times! Talk to your doctor - mine does "comfort h/b appointments" at no charge. Once baby is big enough to hear on the doplar, ladies can go in whenever they need some reasurance. I also talk to my baby - I had a hard time at first - I didn't want to bond with him/her and then lose him/her. So I started telling my baby I was really scared and I sure hoped they held on so I could meet them one day. It was all I could ever manage to say - and always cried the whole time. But it helped to acknowlage the baby. I still have a ton of fear all the time. I don't know a way around it really, other then to take everything one thing at a time.
:dothug: and Stick bean Stick!

soontobemommyto3 April 27th, 2006 10:15 AM

I know how you feel. It is hard to stay positive. I had a really hard time because of all the genetic testing and worrying that the baby wasn't normal and all that. I just sort of went into denial mode. I wouldn't acknowledge the baby and when she would move I'd say stop that I don't want to get attached.

All I can say is it gets easier as time goes by. My best advice for getting through this week until your next appointment is to try to find something else to occupy your mind. I know it is hard to do, but if you can it helps some. I kind of came to the conclusion that there was nothing I could do, either the baby would make it or she wouldn't. Worrying wouldn't help keep her alive. I know that doesn't help when you want a baby so badly. But it worked for me.

I'll be thinking of you this week. And I really think your baby is ok. Measuring off a few days is so normal I think it happens to everyone. Babies grow at different rates and they are all different sizes. My little one is measuring behind a few days right now, I think I already mentioned that, but I'm not worried becuase they took her measurement from her head and my babies always have small heads.

Hang in there and vent whenever you need to. that is what we are here for.

hopin4a4rth April 27th, 2006 02:07 PM

It is very difficult to stay positive. I tried to remind myself every day to just be thankful for one more day w/ baby and hopeful for more. It's so hard, though. :dothug:

Ethans_Mommy April 28th, 2006 08:18 AM

Hillary, just accept the fact that you are going to worry the entire time!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is no "thinking positive" all the time- you might be hopeful for a couple hours and then one thing can trigger discouragement.

I dont think there is advice any of us can give because I dont know any of us who were positive and didnt worry at all! :rolleyes:

The only thing I can tell you, and I hope this gives you some comfort, is that we are all thinking about you and hoping for the best! What you are feeling is totally normal (unless we are all weirdos) and the measuring behind thing is normal too. It is natural for you to be scared and worried and we are here to make sure you dont go completely insane, but we are also here to see that someone else is acting just like we did, and it makes us feel better too!

We need to all enjoy each others insanity and laugh it off! Where else in life do you find people discussing discharge, nipple pain and all the other wonderful aspects of being pregnant? :lol:

he910 April 28th, 2006 11:40 AM

We need to all enjoy each others insanity and laugh it off! Where else in life do you find people discussing discharge, nipple pain and all the other wonderful aspects of being pregnant? :lol:

LOLOL you are so cute!! Thank you ALL so much for your thoughts - your messages have really made me feel better and I can't imagine what I would do without you each. Thank you for understanding me and taking the time to calm me down - it means the world to me!

jesela April 28th, 2006 06:28 PM

Like everyone else says, it is totally normal to be a nervous Nellie after misarriage. I know that I am a walking disaster with my nerves! But it is also totally normal to measure a few days off - those machines do leave room for human error. And that little bean obviously has a lot of positive energy being directed towar his/her way!

Take gentle care of your precious self.

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