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-   -   Freaking out some... (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/2214217-freaking-out-some.html)

~LaurenNoel~ January 11th, 2011 06:33 AM

Freaking out some...
Sorry this is long, I just need to get it out...

I am high risk due to a spinal condition I have, and now the fact that I had pre-E with Wesley. I go to a high risk hospital, and it is one of the best hospitals in the South. I went there off and on with Wesley because it is far away, and I had the option to do half of the pregnancy somewhere closer to me. This time, I have just gone there.

You would think because it is "high risk" that they were be overly cautious if anything. Instead, they are super laid back. My last few appointments only lasted a few minutes (we drive over an hour each way). If something did come up, I know that they are very quick to respond. They caught the pre-E with Wesley right when it started, then did an emergency c/s just in time to save his life. They also have a NICU that can handle about anything. I know it was/is the best place to go, but it drives me crazy that I don't get more attention. I've only had 1 ultrasound at 18 weeks. I explained to them I am really worried about her size since Wesley was 5.8 lbs at 40 weeks. He was so small, I almost did not get to take him home because he couldn't regulate his temperature. She will be born a whole week earlier. I am so afraid she will be too small or something else will cause her to be in the NICU. I have no idea how I could possibly handle that and care for Wes. The hospital is too far way, and DH could not take that time off of work. They told me they would do another a week or two from now, but who knows. :rolleyes: I have an appt Thursday (34 weeks), so I hope to find out.

It is also driving me crazy that they have yet to give me a c/s date. Most of the ladies in my DDC have theirs, and I am having a planned c/s. I understand if they need to check her size, but they haven't scheduled the u/s either. Ugh.

PameŁa January 11th, 2011 07:35 AM

Re: Freaking out some...
Sorry you have to deal with this hun. I'm going to look at this from the other side because I have been on two sides.

I was high risk with my youngest son and had apt after apt, test after test. I was so worried, I didn't relax. they had me so wound up.

Then we moved to England, care here is a bit different because it is universal and they have to keep costs down. You hardly have any apts here with your 2nd+ baby and at first it freaked me out but then I was so relieved that I didn't have a reason to have more apts. The laid back approach was so much more relaxing.

I know you have specific medical conditions but I think if there were concerns, they would be addressed hun. I know it's hard to but try and take comfort that you don't have to be seen more and that things are looking ok so far.

Make it a point at you next apt to ask questions hun. They are there to care for you. Make sure you ask about a cs date.

If I'm way off, please forgive me. Just don't want to see you so worried.

~LaurenNoel~ January 11th, 2011 08:44 AM

Re: Freaking out some...
Thanks. No, they addressed the health condition I have. It is hereditary and causes Spina Bifida, so the 18 week u/s was to check her brain and spine. Everything looked fine.

I have been really laid back about everything until recently. It's probably because things are getting so close. I know an u/s wouldn't change the fact that she is small or if she has something else going on, it's just not seeing her for so many weeks is hard. It seems like people have so many ultrasounds these days!

IAMommy January 11th, 2011 08:55 AM

Re: Freaking out some...
Hugs.....I understand where you are comming from...you just want to make sure that the best medical care is being given to your lo. Next time you have an appt....ask them to set a date for an u/s to check growth, and if they won't give it to you ask why with your history I think that would be reasonable.

Also ask to set a date for your c-section.....especially since you are far away and have a toddler that needs to be looked after while you are in the hospital. Sometimes it is hard, but you have to put your foot down and make them listen to you. If they are trying to get out the door soon after your appt starts, just say, listen I have a few concerns that I would really like addressed....it should only take a minute and then ask what is on your mind. don't let them sho you away.

mom2moose January 11th, 2011 09:29 AM

Re: Freaking out some...
Perhaps they're more laid back because they've seen and heard it all? Like you said, they catch things super fast, and obviously pay attention to you, so maybe they're trying to relax so you will? I don't have any wisdom here. Just though I'd say Good Luck and I hope everything turns out ok!!

stargatemommy January 11th, 2011 09:39 AM

Re: Freaking out some...
I am sorry you are dealing with this. I agree, you should be getting more attention. I see a high risk dr, and I am not really high risk. Baby is high risk but I am not.... IU get so much attention, I love it. Is there a high risk Dr in the hospital that is closer to you?

It would be such a bummer to drive so far for mediocre care!

shen7 January 11th, 2011 09:43 AM

Re: Freaking out some...
I totally understand how you are feeling! But also from the other side. I am in the camp of having had a TON of ultrasounds (in 1st/2nd tri), and have gotten the distinct feeling that some people in my DDC were jealous. Like I got a very good (and correct) guess at the gender at only 14.5 weeks. But from my point of view, I would MUCH rather have NOT had those ultrasounds, and not have had all the crazy bleeding I had. Now that my situation has calmed down, I'll be happy to not have a single other ultrasound, as long as it's because my baby is doing well and there's no medical need for one.

So I think that things are looking great with your little girl that's why they aren't too concerned about you!! Plus you have the factor of going to a big, famous, high-risk hospital... they are seeing TONS of REALLY serious cases... and you are relatively low-risk right now compared to most of their other cases. They are probably a little less sensitive to your emotional needs because of being such a big place, too. I'm sure that's frustrating, but hopefully you can take comfort in the knowledge that you ARE getting top-notch medical case. PLEASE don't compare yourself to people in your DDC!! They are in a totally different situation than you...

HTH a little... HUGS!!! It is a stressful time, but I am very hopeful about your little girl doing great, and I'm so glad that you are going to such a top hospital!!

~LaurenNoel~ January 11th, 2011 01:57 PM

Re: Freaking out some...
Thanks so much for the responses ladies. They are rushing me. If I try to tell them about something that I am worried about, they quickly tell me it's nothing. My son was in such distress, the doctor said he would have been stillborn if I had not have come in when I did (to their triage). That just makes me really nervous this time around. My placenta was crap, so that is part of the reason they are taking her no later than 39 wks.

I think some of you hit the nail on the head. They see extreme cases, so to them, I'm not really high risk. She would have been if she inherited the Spina Bifida, but thankfully that didn't happen.

mommabirdof4 January 11th, 2011 02:04 PM

Re: Freaking out some...
oh I Am so sorry lauren that you are going through this. I can understand the frustration...I would just tell them point blank at your next appointment that you really would like a growth scan to put your mind at ease or at least prepare you for what is to come.

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