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-   -   Buying baby things :( (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/2534924-buying-baby-things.html)

~Tanya~ June 4th, 2012 04:48 AM

Buying baby things :(
It seems like there are so many in the DDC buying things for the baby and getting their nursery ideas in place - it makes me so sad sometimes that I can't feel comfortable enough yet to do that. I really just want to get to the point where I can feel secure in making a purchase I won't end up having to return. When I was preggo last time, I was going to go out shopping the day of my anatomy scan, but I never got to do that :( this time I feel like I should wait till about 24 weeks before buying anything just to make sure, but I want so much to start now :cries: When did you all feel comfortable in purchasing items for the baby?

momof8lopez June 4th, 2012 04:56 AM

Re: Buying baby things :(
Not until 28wks. I was like this with all my pregnancy's though, even before loss's. Never started a nursery, bought a onesie, nothing. After loss, I never washed anything or took tags off until 38wks. It is sad that loss takes us to these places, 24wks sounds like a wonderful time to celebrate and make your first purchase, it will be here before you know it!

silverlife June 4th, 2012 06:47 AM

Re: Buying baby things :(
I didn't feel comfortable buying anything until around 30 weeks, I think? I think the fear is normal after a loss. I know someone who only bought a pack 'n' play before her baby was born. She didn't even buy diapers.

Belita June 4th, 2012 06:49 AM

Re: Buying baby things :(
:hug: for me, buying stuff is part of how I'm keeping the excitement for myself and making sure I'm not focusing so much on the potential for loss. I didn't have a second trimester loss, though. I hope you feel comfortable buying and thinking of nursery ideas soon. :hug:

mspkids June 4th, 2012 07:23 AM

Re: Buying baby things :(
I usually wait until 30 weeks to grab the carseat. We brought the baby home and I still didn't take anything down from the attic with the last one. I didn't want to see anything in case. And yes, it stinks that you are robbed from the enjoyment of preparing.

I will start sewing after today scan though. I'll make stuff and just put it back on the shelves. If something does go wrong, it will be donated. I did this with the last one too. I can't wait until 30 weeks to make a diaper stash up. Too much work to throw into 8+ weeks.

3Sapphires June 4th, 2012 08:11 AM

Re: Buying baby things :(
I didn't start doing anything until last week - and then I did it all. I still worry that maybe I should wait, but I couldn't stand it any longer.

Pitridge June 4th, 2012 08:56 AM

Re: Buying baby things :(
Well we haven't bought anything for this baby, we have mostly everything, but still, as much as I want to buy a onesie or grab that deal on diaper, I can't bring myself to do it. In the next month we have to go and buy the car seat and a tub....I keep putting it off.

kaylakay June 4th, 2012 10:24 AM

Re: Buying baby things :(
I didn't start buying a lot till after 24 weeks... But it took me forever to take the tags off and set it up. I believe I was 36 weeks ish... I know it's scary. I'm still so scared cause I can't return anything now. But what I did was just suck it up tag all the tags off before I really "thought" about it. Haha. Also DH helped me a lot.

ladysakura721 June 4th, 2012 07:39 PM

Re: Buying baby things :(
started shoping at 22 weeks after gender scan i bought one outfit then waited till 26 weeks to buy anything els i only took the tags off sunday and set everything up and im 38 weeks hope you get to enjoy some shoping soon !

d_tops June 5th, 2012 10:53 AM

Re: Buying baby things :(
I feel less emotional and more practical about it right now. I know there's a baby due in January, but I still might have to return everything before January if there is no baby, so right now it sounds like a lot of hassle and not enjoyable at all. I know that sounds calloused, but I'm just not convinced that shopping is a good idea yet.

Tanya - I hope that when you do feel ready to nest for your baby, that you can thoroughly enjoy getting ready and feel settled.

JessP June 5th, 2012 12:20 PM

Re: Buying baby things :(
If it wasn't for my DH I wouldn't have bought anything or set anything up until the last month LOL. We bought a few things the day of the anatomy scan at 18weeks but didn't do much until mid 20's. I kept tags on everything and packaged and receipts. I cried when DH made me set up the pack and play. I was so scared. I hate that loss makes us feel this way. Big hugs.

1InSummerland June 5th, 2012 01:28 PM

Re: Buying baby things :(
I'm about a month ahead of you and haven't really bought anything. I have picked up a lot of free stuff off of freecycle (bouncy seat and misc. cloths) and only just recently felt comfortable and confident about that. I think, for me, it helps that I've started to be able to feel the baby move every day. I never got to that point with Angel so it has made me feel a little better.

I think that if you will feel more comfortable waiting until 24 weeks, that's what you should do. Hopefully, by the time you reach that point, you will be able to enjoy preparing for your baby. I probably won't actually buy anything until after the anatomy scan two weeks from now just because I want to see a healthy baby one more time before I get too excited about preparing.

martilynne June 5th, 2012 08:02 PM

Re: Buying baby things :(
When I was pregnant with Jax I didn't buy one single thing until I was 30+ weeks. I don't know if I'll be better or worse this time, I guess we'll see...

Happy Song June 7th, 2012 12:28 AM

Re: Buying baby things :(
I am the odd one out... after my third loss I went out IMMEDIATELY and bought an outfit and hung it on my wall where I could see it every day and every time I looked at it I told myself that this time would be different.

~Tanya~ June 7th, 2012 06:58 AM

Re: Buying baby things :(

Originally Posted by Happy Song (Post 26134312)
I am the odd one out... after my third loss I went out IMMEDIATELY and bought an outfit and hung it on my wall where I could see it every day and every time I looked at it I told myself that this time would be different.

That is a great attitude to have :)

humnck June 7th, 2012 08:55 AM

Re: Buying baby things :(
I didn't buy anything for a while. I didn't have a 2nd trimester loss, but this last loss, last August, we had seen a hb and then found out at 12w. That made it very hard to connect to this pregnancy. I finally was out at Burlington Coat Factory, while traveling for work, and happened into the baby clothing section - I found a neutral onesie that I thought was funny, it says "I was born awesome", I couldn't resist:) I was about 25 weeks at that point, but I still didn't buy anything else for a long time and that onesie was in it's bag with the tags for a while. It was just a couple of weeks ago that DH and I finally washed stuff and started setting things up, I am almost 38 weeks now. It really is normal for us that have been through losses to go through this and I can understand not wanting to do anything until after that scan. HUGS!!!

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