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-   -   Out of Control Agitation and Anger (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/2612904-out-control-agitation-and-anger.html)

lelila January 9th, 2013 06:13 AM

Out of Control Agitation and Anger
For the past two or three days I have been out of control with agitation and anger. I turn from calm and happy to screaming and ready to tear my hair out instantly. My 7 yr old son is usually what spurs me to anger - he refuses to listen and follow rules, deliberately disobeys me and argues. This is something that has been getting worse for a few months now and I've always found a way of managing it; sitting him down and having him explain to me why he behaves the way he does and then talking about ways of changing.

But lately, I can't muster patience. I'm screaming at him at the first offense and not even trying to have a rational conversation. I get on the phone with DH (who is out of town for work for 3 weeks) and tell him how horrible I have been and instead of talking to me about how to manage, he tells me I've lost control of our son and I'm not disciplining enough. I got so angry on the phone this morning when he told me I needed to relax I hung up on him.

I'm sorry to be venting. I don't know where to turn or who to talk to. I feel like I'm going to explode into pieces at any moment.

bcogoli January 9th, 2013 07:16 AM

Re: Out of Control Agitation and Anger
Oh sweetie im sorry. Sometimes dealing with a difficult child can get emotionaly draining and its hard to keep yourself together. My 2 yo little girl has more attitude and emotions than any teenager i have ever met. Not that long ago i called my mom and told her she had to come get Rose now because i could not handle her crying and whinning anymore. I was so emotionaly worn out and i felt horrible sending her away like that but i really had no other option. You need some time to recharge so even if its after your son is in bed, take a shower and cry and then have a cup of tea and watch something silly like the game show network for a bit. This usually helps me settle down and regroup. I will keep you in my prayers. Please keep us updated.

melissalaw January 9th, 2013 01:17 PM

Re: Out of Control Agitation and Anger
losing your patience with your children is very easy sometimes. next time try to take a step back when he does something wrong and think before you speak to him. Do you do timeout? I have a 3 year old and there have been times when I am taking care of my 8 month old and my 3 year just won't behave. I have had a hard time not losing my temper with him. Usually he just wants my attention. I hope things get better soon. I know how hard it can be especially when your DH is out of town and not there to help. My son always seems to misbehave when DH is out of town. Please vent away that's what we are here for.

lelila January 9th, 2013 02:42 PM

Re: Out of Control Agitation and Anger
Thanks Ladies! I'm much calmer now, despite work being horrible and having to run DS to the docs because the teacher thought he had pink eye.

I read ALOT of articles today about aggression and anger during early pregnancy and I feel so much better that it's pretty normal. I will take your advice about stepping back. And I think I will use Time Out, but for me!!

I wonder if there are certain foods or tea I can eat that help calm, like green foods vs. milk products, etc. I'll look into that.

bcogoli January 9th, 2013 03:05 PM

Re: Out of Control Agitation and Anger
I drank a lavendar chamamile tea yesterday and it was very calming. I also find that fruit smoothies in the morning are energizing and put me in a good mood. Im really glad your feeling better. Being a mom can be overwhelming.

ohnicole January 9th, 2013 04:12 PM

Re: Out of Control Agitation and Anger
I'm glad you're feeling better about it today. It does seem that sometimes the pregnancy hormones can take over and things that are usually no big deal become super frustrating. I think taking a time out for yourself is a good idea. How about taking the tea or smoothie idea a little further, and when your son is having a challenging moment, just ignore his behavior and go straight to making yourself (and your son?) some tea, smoothie, or other treat? It might put everyone in a better mood.

EverydayJoy January 9th, 2013 08:37 PM

Re: Out of Control Agitation and Anger
I'm sorry you're feeling this way! Pregnancy hormones are the worst. I use a homeopathic remedy called Calms by Hyland's, it has chamomile, passionflower and other herbs that help calm you. I use it for when I'm stressing and when I need to sleep. Are you having any trouble sleeping? That can seriously affect your patience in the day-to-day things. There's also something called Rescue Remedy by Bach's that my midwife for my pregnancy with DS recommended, I never tried it but she said it was safe for pregnancy. It's also a herbal remedy. It comes in a mouth spray, a liquid you mix with water, and also little gummy candies.
I also saw some spray online I'd like to try, here's a link for it:
Happy Mama Spray. I haven't tried it but it looked good.
And just plain old lavendar and chamomile are great, maybe some aromatherapy would help you. It's nice to have something you can take that will help right away though, hope this helps!

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