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-   -   Realization (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/2627516-realization.html)

geogeek February 20th, 2013 12:34 PM

At least my first 2 babies are going to be direct rainbow babies. :( Someone posted that in a group I am in and it just hit me. I know that I am EXTREMELY lucky to be able to have children at all. It just hit me again today.

ninja_mommy February 20th, 2013 03:29 PM

Re: Realization

momof8lopez February 20th, 2013 05:29 PM

Re: Realization
Im sorry for your hurt. I suppose there will be days of disbelief and days that you feel as if your going forward. I wish you were not on this ride again. Thinking of you.

melissalaw February 21st, 2013 07:01 AM

Re: Realization
I'm so sorry Rachel. I wish no woman ever had to experience a loss. It is so painful and I wish you were not dealing with it again.

geogeek February 21st, 2013 08:55 AM

Re: Realization
Moving forward has been a lot more difficult this time. I am not really sure why other than this time I know what I am missing out on.

melissalaw February 21st, 2013 09:56 AM

Re: Realization
I already had Jackson when I had my loss and I think that made it harder for me. I would cling to Jackson and just cry for the baby I would never know. I know that made it harder for me because I knew what I was missing but I think it also helped because I had Jackson to cling to and to hold for comfort. Although I do know that someday I will be in Heaven with my sweet baby.

momof8lopez February 21st, 2013 12:18 PM

Re: Realization

Originally Posted by geogeek (Post 27118756)
Moving forward has been a lot more difficult this time. I am not really sure why other than this time I know what I am missing out on.

This to me has always been a double edged sward. YES, you will feel much different after having a child at home when going through a m/c. You look in your childs eyes and just know that his/hers eyes would of looked of the same. I found m/c after baby's is twice as hard as before having children.

I hope time heals this hurt for you. Just hold your LO even closer on those bad days, that's what I did......and it hurt just a little less for those 5min while cuddling. Thinking of you.

mrskristinmack February 21st, 2013 01:38 PM

Re: Realization
I just want to say I agree with everything all the other ladies posted above. I just hope you can heal quickly emotionally so you aren't sad anymore. I wish you luck and will be thinking of you.

ohnicole February 22nd, 2013 11:50 AM

Re: Realization
I'm so sorry you are going through this :cry: Thinking of you, and hoping you find some peace soon :hug:

Happy Song February 23rd, 2013 10:59 PM

Re: Realization
For me I found my loss after my Rainbow baby easier. Before I couldn't imagine the pain ever abating. After my rainbow baby Beau I knew he was worth ever heartache and tear. Even holding my stillborn baby looking at his perfect fingers and toes, I knew that I would heal. That was enough for me to take my next breath and do what needed to be done and to cry every tear Seth deserved.

I am so sorry Rachel.

bcogoli February 24th, 2013 06:50 AM

Re: Realization
I think each loss is very different. I do think having a loss after having your rainbow baby is harder. This loss was very difficult for me because i lost the twin but im still having a baby. My other losses were easier because there was an ending but this one seems to drag on. Were still not sure if we will be able to see Baby B at delivery. I completely understand how hard it can be, its just important to love the babie(s) you do have and cherish every moment with them. You will make it through it, i promise.

missy123 February 24th, 2013 11:46 AM

Re: Realization
I am so sorry Rachel :( ((hugs sweetie))

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