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-   -   Ame C (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/2659327-ame-c.html)

melissalaw June 17th, 2013 01:51 PM

Ame C
Please let us know how your appointment went. I don't know what time your appointment was so just hoping that it was late and you just haven't had time to update. I'm thinking of you and praying for a great appointment.

Ame C June 17th, 2013 03:21 PM

Re: Ame C
Awww, thanks for thinking of us :smile:
My appointment was at 2pm. Sorry to keep you ladies waiting and worrying for so long. Everything went well. The nurse wasn't able to find the heartbeat with her doppler so I was given a really quick ultrasound, and baby's heart was beating away *deep sigh of relief* although I forgot AGAIN to ask how many bpm!! Arrrg!! The u/s tech said baby is measuring closer to 11 weeks but nothing to worry about. My Dr came in and said I had gained 5lbs already and then made the comment "Just because your pregnant doesn't mean you should be stuffing everything you see into your mouth. You need to really think about what your eating and make healthy choices." ---- :jawdrop: O...M...G!!!!!! I was speechless! All I could say was "Okay, thank you" then we shook hands and parted ways. I admit I have most likely gained some weight, but I was wearing jeans, had a full bladder, heavy shoes and I haven't pooped yet today!! My feelings are totally hurt. Weight is something I stress about anyways, and for him to make me feel like a fatty really hurts me. I told DH and he was like "Don't worry babe, your body knows what's best and if your hungry then eat!" Now I feel like I need to cut calories and diet so my Dr doesn't harp on how fat I am at my next appointment. :( Totally uncalled for!!!

Anyways, on a more cheerful note, here is baby's u/s picture. :wub:


Sunrise June 17th, 2013 04:03 PM

Re: Ame C
Yeah! :yellowcheer:

EverydayJoy June 17th, 2013 08:01 PM

Re: Ame C
Wow that was totally rude and heartless to say that to you!! My OB was very kind about it, I knew I had gained more than I would like to in the first trimester, and all she did was ask how I felt about my weight. When I said I knew I was heavier than I'd like, she just said, "I never tell my pregnant women to diet, but just to try to make healthy choices." That was the first and last time my weight was mentioned.
If I were you, I'd almost consider changing your OB doctor, because I think it's very unhealthy for you to feel you need to restrict your calories. That could be bad for baby. I don't think it matters one bit whether you gain 30 lbs or 80 lbs. Your baby will still be healthy either way, so why worry about it? Personally, I gained fast in the first trimester with both pregnancies, faster than the recommended weight. But then in the third trimester, I gained less than recommended, so it all leveled out. I wouldn't worry one single bit. Besides, 5 lbs is not even worth mentioning. I have no idea why your doc freaked out about it. What a jerk!!!

Ame C June 17th, 2013 08:45 PM

Re: Ame C
5lbs is really nothing to me because I fluctuate 5lbs on a weekly basis, up and down. It just hurt coming from the man who delivered my son. He should know better than to be so insensitive. His tone was not friendly. Everyone is entitled to have an off day and I'm hoping that's all that was, but if he makes a habit of talking down to me I'm going to have to make a switch. The only problem is I switched Dr's several times during my first pregnancy and there aren't many left I'm willing to give a shot. I thought I had finally found an exceptional Dr, but now I'm second guessing him. I'm going to give him another chance, but I can honestly say I'm not so thrilled about him being my Dr anymore. This whole thing has caused way more unnecessary stress than it needed to. He might talk to his wife like that, I don't know, but I don't appreciate being talked to like that. Arrrrg!!! :( I'm wayyy to freakin sensitive. I wish I could just shrug it off and eat a donut.... instead I am letting it tare me up inside and all I have eaten today is an apple and a salad. Stupid, I know, but sometimes I can't help it. One of my biggest problems is worrying about what other people think of me. DH tells me all-the-time to stop it, you can never please everyone so focus on pleasing yourself. I still haven't gotten that concept. Anyways, I will give him another chance but if he messes up again I don't know what Dr to switch to. I have exhausted all my resources. The only other Dr's with excellent reviews are way to far for me to drive.

I do have another complaint about him. He never tells me what to expect at my next appointment. Like my next one for example is July 15th, I will be 14 weeks and I have no idea what to expect. Blood work, exams, ultrasounds, or just in and out? I don't know because he didn't have the courtesy of telling me and I was speechless from his rude comment that I didn't even think to ask until I was half-way home.

bcogoli June 18th, 2013 05:51 AM

Re: Ame C
That baby of yours is just so beautiful!!!

Im so sorry your ob was so rude. I agree with your DH, if your hungry then eat. I hope the ob is nicer next time.

Sunrise June 18th, 2013 06:29 AM

Re: Ame C
Idk ame. Don't feel bad about the weight. Seriously. Most women fluctuate so maybe you started off at your personal higher weight and not the weight that's "on your chart". Feed that baby! His/her little brain and body are forming! Hugs and appetite wishes your way :)

melissalaw June 18th, 2013 07:05 AM

Re: Ame C
First I am so happy for you and I love that beautiful picture of your sweet baby.

Second please don't worry about your weight. I'm hoping that your dr was just having an off day. I worry about weight also during pregnancy and my dr has always been great about it. He says that as long as you eat healthy, eat when your hungry and try to eat the right things most of the time your body will gain the weight it needs for you and the baby. I always gain a ton of weight during the first trimester, I mean like 12 lbs..lol. So 5 lbs and your almost at 11 weeks to me is great. Please don't try to cut calories just try to make smart choices and eat when you need to. the weight will come off after your baby is born but right now you need to eat for your health and your baby's health.

I gained 45 lbs with Jackson and 43 lbs with Jacob and lost it all after they were born. Now it did take me almost 9 months to lose it all but you can and will lose it after your baby is born. I'm pissed at your dr for making you feel bad, the more I think about the more angry it makes me.

I would also ask either your dr or the nurse on each visit what you should expect at your next visit. I believe at your next visit it will just be a standard visit. they will check weight, blood pressure, have you pee in a cup to check and make sure no protein in your urine. they will check heart rate of baby, some dr will measure your belly (my dr never does this). that should be all that they do on your next visit.

One more thing, there is a another great board on JM Mommy Weightloss and Fitness - JustMommies Message Boards It is all about fitness and being healthy, plus it is a great place for support to lose the weight after baby is born. So just focus on keeping that baby healthy right now and definitely check out that board when your ready to lose the weight. I love that board, not as much as this one but the girls there are great. I'm hoping they can help keep me active and healthy through this pregnancy and lose the weight after baby is born.

humnck June 18th, 2013 10:53 AM

Re: Ame C
I love the u/s pic, so sweet! Yay for a great u/s :)

I cannot believe your doc said that. I gained 5 lbs once with my DD1 in 2 weeks, the only thing my doctor said was, you gained 5 lbs, make sure you are making the right choices when it comes to eating, but 5 lbs is okay here and there. She also assured me that it was fine because I lost weight in my first trimester because I was sick. With Addy, I gained most of the weight in the first trimester because if I didn't eat, I was soooo nauseous, but I never got sick (except 2 times I think). I only gained 27 lbs with Addy total though, so it evened out. Doctors shouldn't make comments like that, in 11 weeks, 5 lbs is normal - I think they say around 5 in the first trimester is? I can't remember stats, but 5 lbs sounds right in line with what it should be! Please try to ignore his comments, I would also bring it up at your next appointment and let him know that you didn't appreciate the comment and you think he is an exceptional doctor, but that really added undue stress.

At your next appointment, they will likely just do what Melissa said, I don't think they will measure just yet though. I think the fundal height starts making a difference around 24 weeks, but again, some docs are different. Anyways, they will likely take your BP, test your urine, weigh you, and schedule your next appt. They may even schedule your anatomy scan and possibly do an u/s at your 14 week.

Did he discuss 1st trimester screening? That should be done soon if you are opting for it, I think it is done between 11w 6d and 13w 1d or something like that...

melissalaw June 18th, 2013 11:26 AM

Re: Ame C
Yes Cary is right. I forgot about the first trimester screening. We opted to do the NT Scan just because of my age and i believe with Jacob they did that around 11 weeks then took some blood a few weeks later.

Ame C June 18th, 2013 02:22 PM

Re: Ame C
Thank you ladies ^_^ DH and I think baby is pretty adorable too.

They haven't discussed with me any of the testing that can be done. So I guess they aren't planning on doing the NT scan. Or if they are, they didn't ask if I wanted it to be done. During my first appointment in April, they gave me a folder with some paperwork to read. The Dr mentioned it had a paper in it that will tell me what to expect at each appointment. I am going to share that with you ladies...


I noticed there was an 8 week gap between 28 weeks and 36 weeks which I ask my Dr about at my appointment yesterday because I can't go that long without beeing seen due to anxiety and fears. He said I must have read it wrong because his handout doesn't say that. :confused: *sigh* anyways... This paper is pretty much all I have to go on, for now, until I get in the habit of asking what to expect at my next appointments. I don't see anything about NT scans, I guess all they do is blood work for down's syndrome and spina bifida? It's looking like I need to make a phone call to their office and ask about the NT scan.

With my first pregnancy I was seeing a different Dr at this point, and at around 14-15 weeks they did blood work not the NT scan. Maybe that is standard around here? Maybe it has to do with my insurance not covering the scan? I really don't know. I will eventually call their office and find out for sure.

Oh, I thought I should add... DH was pretty upset with me last night for not eating like normal. He talked some sense into me and I'm going to continue to eat because it's important for baby's health. I'm just going to cut back on the fast foods and greasy stuff for now and see if that makes a difference at my next appointment. And thank you Melissa for the JM weight loss board recommendation! I will look around in there when I get a little free time :smile: Is it for pregnant women as well as postpartum?

L-SBB June 18th, 2013 03:21 PM

Re: Ame C
first off, I def have issue with your Dr chastising you on weight gain and especially so slight weight gain. My OB doesn't even worry at 2-3lbs in couple of weeks because (i'm quoting her) you weigh differently in clothes, at different times of day, if it's immed after a meal, etc. Don't let that even bother you...I had some really rapid weight gain with Savannah starting at 30wks - like 2-3lbs a week (!) and even then Dr just wanted to have me focus on making healthy choices...I was eating really carefully already and STILL gaining rapidly, so sometimes it's not even in your control, fluid retention and other things can play a role too. My best advice is eat when you're hungry, drink plenty of fluids and don't let the # on the scale freak you out...there's lots of time to diet once baby's here.

I'm glad you got to see your LO...I had similar scare I think right around 11wks where Dr couldn't get hb on Doppler and I totally started freaking out, but baby was fine on u/s. I'm glad you were able to get the immediate reassurance from the u/s & a sneak peek at your sweet lil baby :smile:

ETA: you should call and ask about NT scan. What they're suggesting at 16wks - the quad screen - can be done alone but it's most accurate when they do a 2 stage blood draw (one at 12 weeks & one at 16 weeks) AND combined with the NT scan. NT scan has to be done before 13wks if you want to do it at all. There's now newer blood tests - Harmony, MaternT21 - that are more accurate than the quad screen, although they focus on 3 trisomies (13, 18 & 21 I believe) and quad screen I think picks up a couple of other potential problems, so many older moms end up with both being run (I did). Personally, if I could only have one, i'd probably want the Harmony/MaternT one since it's more accurate...but a lot of insurance plans are now covering NT scans/quad screens even for lower risk mothers so it's worth asking. A lot of OBs don't perform these themselves, they send you for consult with high risk OB (unless that's what you're already seeing?) to have all of those tests run.

Ame C June 18th, 2013 05:18 PM

Re: Ame C
My dr isn't high risk, and he claims I'm not either but because of what happened with my son he will be keeping a much closer eye on everything. But, so far that doesn't really seem to be the case if he isn't worried about the NT scan or discussing any further testing with me.

I weighed myself this morning and MY scale says I haven't gained any weight!! But then again I was wearing a light shirt and capri pants with no shoes when I weighed myself, which is probably about 4-5lbs lighter than the outfit I was wearing yesterday. I guess I freaked out for nothing. Unless my scale is off by a lot, which I doubt. Haha yes, I'm still stressing about what he said. :rolleyes: It was just so rude! Plus I know I can lose it all once baby is here. I lost it all plus 3 lbs extra only a few months after Clyde was born and all I could make myself eat during that time was cookies, cakes, horrible sugary stuff otherwise I didn't eat at all. I guess it was a way to punish myself?? I can be an emotional basket case sometimes but I think I'm doing okay now. Way better than yesterday that's for sure.

EverydayJoy June 18th, 2013 05:21 PM

Re: Ame C
Just wanted to say you shouldn't have an 8 week gap between the 28th and 36th week...generally speaking somewhere around 30 weeks, you switch from monthly appointments to going every 2 weeks. So to go 2 months between appointments at that stage of the game would be pretty stupid, if you ask me! It must be a typo.

melissalaw June 19th, 2013 08:05 AM

Re: Ame C
Joy is right you definitely won't be going 8 weeks without seeing the dr when your that far along.

so glad that you are feeling better. the weightloss and fitness forum is for both pregnant ladies and for mommies trying to lose the weight after babies are born. I am going to keep using it to help keep me healthy and exercising through this pregnancy. There are some great girls over there.

doremi June 20th, 2013 12:54 AM

Re: Ame C
Oh, HECK NO... I absolutely would not put up with being talked to that way! I understand you were speechless when he made the comments, but I really feel you need to address this later with him. Tell him how emotionally vulnerable you are feeling, and ask him to please only bring up your weight gain/loss if there is a strong medical concern. My OB doesn't even have the numbers on the scale facing the patient... you have to ask if you want to know how much you gained from one visit to the next!! And I totally agree that everybody gains the weight differently. I always packed it on at the tail end of my pregnancies. As long as you're eating healthy, your body will gain what it needs to gain for a healthy baby. I hope that your next appt. is better. It is so important to be able to trust your OB, especially following a loss.

Mollyjayne June 20th, 2013 03:39 PM

Re: Ame C
Stalking you. Just making sure everything went well, aside from a crass dr. I am glad things are doing great.

Ame C June 20th, 2013 03:58 PM

Re: Ame C

Originally Posted by Mollyjayne (Post 27464192)
Stalking you. Just making sure everything went well, aside from a crass dr. I am glad things are doing great.

Thank you xxx!

Faith=2xBlessed June 21st, 2013 08:55 AM

Re: Ame C
Hey Ame sorry if I shouldn't be in here but I've been thinking about you and haven't seen you in the ddc so I was worried but I found you and your ok :) glad you and baby are well :D

Ame C June 22nd, 2013 04:15 PM

Re: Ame C
Hey Sweetie!! It's hard to explain but I don't feel comfortable hanging around in DDC's. Thank you for checking up on me. Everything is going great so far :smile:

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