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-   -   2nd time mommy vent (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/2672550-2nd-time-mommy-vent.html)

geogeek August 15th, 2013 03:16 PM

2nd time mommy vent
I was spoiled with my pregnancy with Marsi. I got to sleep when I was tired. I got to walk in the park whenever I felt like it. Now, I beg Marsi to take naps so that I can. One day I woke to Marsi drawing on my iPad with a sharpie because I fell asleep. I don't know how some moms do this. I can't just pass her off to DH when he gets home because she is the biggest mommy's girl and never lets me pee alone let me nap while she is with daddy. I just wish I could just sleep. I am exhausted and 3 days with no naps is making me miss cranky pants.

Ame C August 15th, 2013 03:32 PM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
Oooh, that's a tough one. I don't think I have any helpful advice. I'm not in those shoes, I can sleep/nap whenever. If Marsi laid down with you in bed would she take a nap? I mean I'm sure she would if she was sleepy, but will she behave in your arms while you sleep? Like not wiggle around and stuff?

geogeek August 15th, 2013 03:38 PM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
Marsi is an on the go toddler. I can't get her to sit still to eat for 5 minutes. We have never coslept so any time she is in my bed it is for fun time. That is one of the reasons I am so tired. She always wants to be going somewhere doing something. I love her so much, but it is exhausting.

Ame C August 15th, 2013 03:47 PM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
Sounds exhausting. :( Hope you can find away to catch some zzz's.

EverydayJoy August 15th, 2013 04:48 PM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
How would she do with a playpen? Or maybe totally kid-proof her bedroom and put a gate up? I'm guessing those aren't really options, else you would have already thought of it, but, just a suggestion!
Being a 2nd time mom really is a lot harder, in my opinion. People tell you it's no big deal because you already have one, so you know the drill. But they neglect to tell you all the ways it really is harder.
Once you get to the 2nd trimester it should be a bit easier I think, I hope! But that first and last trimesters are hard, because you're just so tired (especially 1st tri), and you can't just sleep when you're tired anymore.
Then the baby is born and you're in the same boat--exhausted with a newborn, but can't sleep when the newborn is sleeping because you have to chase the toddler around! It's tough! Sometimes with Ethan (who is 3 1/2) I just tell him he needs to go play in his room and DON'T bother me because I am sleeping. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I would think this just becomes more of a problem the more kids you have, until they get old enough to help you with the new baby!

geogeek August 15th, 2013 04:54 PM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
Yeah, I have her room all child proofed, but the second the gate is up or door is shut it is a scream fest. She is attached to my hip most of the day. I really hope that the second trimester is easier. I hope the older and "more responsible" she gets, the easier it gets. I knew that you ladies wouldn't mind me venting. DH also works from 6 am-6 pm 5 days a week. Marsi wakes up at 7 am and goes to bed at 7:30pm. He literally only sees her for 1.5 hours a day so she really is only used to me. Maybe I am having that frustration too. Feeling very alone and inadequate to the daughter I already have.

AnnaBonana August 15th, 2013 05:36 PM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent

I don't know what it's like, but it does sound hard.

Do you have a friend or family close who could take her for a couple hours? That might do for a nap one day.

I hope it gets better soon!

EverydayJoy August 15th, 2013 11:03 PM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
I understand the inadequate feeling.
When I was pregnant with Kody, I had the feeling like I wasn't sure I wanted to end the relationship Ethan and I had up until then--you know, they're your one and only, and your special baby, and they get all your time. I felt like somehow I was cheating Ethan a little. And then to not be able to spend as much time with him or do stuff because I was so tired---it just made me feel worse.
But, children are very resilient. Tell her often that you love her, spend a little time each day doing something special together (that you can sit down for!), and the rest of the time, don't kick yourself if you need to turn on the boob tube so that you can catnap on the couch while she watches. It's just a passing thing, she won't be ruined for life, and soon she'll be enjoying that sweet little baby right along with you.

momof8lopez August 15th, 2013 11:31 PM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
Stay in the family room with a gate!!! Sleep on the couch while she watches t.v., my best part of the day, lol. I've got a almost 3yr old who does not nap anymore, a almost 2yr old who is fighting naps and a 8mo old, who takes one 2.5hr nap a day. When he go's down, I put the gates up and doze off, here and there. Its not a sound sleep, but these little cat naps, I live for!

doremi August 16th, 2013 12:22 AM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
I thank GOD my firstborn was still a napper when I was pregnant with Jamison. He was on the verge of being ready to give up his afternoon nap, but I wouldn't let him. We napped every afternoon in bed together for my entire pregnancy. I don't think I would have survived otherwise. Hang in there, mama! If it gets really bad, maybe do a kid swap so you can get a nap every other day, or call in a babysitter for an hour in the afternoon to give yourself a break.

melissalaw August 16th, 2013 07:23 AM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
Oh it's so hard being pregnant and trying to take care of other little ones. I never get naps so I am no help at all. jackson is 4 now and will not take naps. Thankfully Jacob does take a nap so I will lay on the couch when Jacob naps but Jackson won't leave me alone for long. Hopefully the second trimester will get a bit better for you.

geogeek August 16th, 2013 08:44 AM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
Thank you ladies! You make me feel so much better. I may be exhausted and sick, but I am definitely not alone.

Sunrise August 16th, 2013 11:59 AM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
I lol with this thread. I love the kid proof technique the most. No one can rationalize with a toddler...
Best of luck!

[email protected] August 16th, 2013 09:36 PM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
I just lay down next to my son and have him play quietly on the iPad. He understands that Mommy needs to nap, so she won't be grumpy. He's 3 1/2, though! Also, when I can, I got to bed when he does and sleep till he wakes up. Some nights I have to work, though.

kaylakay August 16th, 2013 11:55 PM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
I am so scared of this! we are TTC #2 and my toddler is on the go all the time! I know its going to be so hard but so worth it. You can do it! Good luck!

geogeek August 17th, 2013 07:07 AM

Re: 2nd time mommy vent
You can do it too Kayla. It is definitely worth it.

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