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-   -   People sometimes just need to keep quiet. (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/2706702-people-sometimes-just-need-to-keep-quiet.html)

geogeek February 4th, 2014 04:59 PM

People sometimes just need to keep quiet.
I knew that in some circles, my choice to do a 39 week induction would be frowned upon. I HATE it when people assume "Well, everything went fine with Marsi's birth at 40 weeks, so why?" Are you kidding me? Everything went FINE? In what world do you live in that my L&D with her was FINE? I am sorry, but I walked out of that hospital completely traumatized because of the cascade of crap that all stemmed from that L&D. Yes, I will do everything in my power to NOT go through that again. My *midwife* wouldn't have suggested it if it wasn't medically inclined in my situation. It ISN'T that I want to just be done and pick his birthday. I have legitimate reasons that I do NOT have to share just to get some stupid people's approval.

My host MIL is the one to say this to me. She knows most of the intimate details that I haven't shared outside of a few friends and family members. If she wasn't 3 states away right now, I would totally slap her. I understand acquaintances asking a simple why, that doesn't bother me unless they try to give me "advice". Everyone but her knew why it was brought up as an option and fully support me.

I know you ladies understand and support, even if it isn't something you would choose for yourself. I truly appreciate every one of you.

MelChicago February 4th, 2014 05:58 PM

Re: People sometimes just need to keep quiet.
Sometimes I say, if you don't feed me, fork me, or pay my bills (and, um, by "fork" I mean something else), then your opinion doesn't matter.

A few weeks ago, I heard another great (less inappropriate) line that I'm just waiting to use (ideally on my MIL) "I'm sorry, I must have given you the wrong impression. I'm not actually asking for your advice." Totally passive aggressive, but... shrug.

Boos Moo February 4th, 2014 06:05 PM

Re: People sometimes just need to keep quiet.
Oh I'm sorry people are giving you a hard time for something that isn't even their business. It's between you, your DH, and your doctor/midwife. You all know what is best for you and your situation. Hugs.

AnnaBonana February 5th, 2014 04:55 AM

Re: People sometimes just need to keep quiet.
I like the "if you aren't feeding me, forking me, or funding me, you can stuff it!" mentality.

I'm so sorry people are making rude comments. I don't know why people feel the need to do that. I've always maintained that. Have ultimate faith in myself to give birth to and raise a child-- it's just all the other yahoos who speak out of turn and make me question myself!

I hope you're feeling better and that more people don't try to shake your confidence in your decision. If its any consolation t all, I support you and your reasons for choosing induction. ((Hugs))

Schofield06 February 5th, 2014 05:32 AM

Re: People sometimes just need to keep quiet.
Sheesh... Why does everyone have an opinion when it comes to babies? Even if they don't know what they are talking about. :hug:

kaylakay February 5th, 2014 05:53 AM

Re: People sometimes just need to keep quiet.
I don't understand... I mean I would say like 60-70% of women come in to be induced at my hospital? I thought inductions were a completely normal thing? Hahah. It's rare when we get someone who doesn't want to be induced 40+ weeks.

Who cares? Why do people do that? Who cares you breast feeds or formula feeds? Who cares who co sleeps or puts baby in their own room? Who cares who induces or not? Jeeze. People need to keep quiet. If it doesn't affect them personally then they have no room to speak.

Have your 39 week induction and smile about it because you know it will be best for you. :)

lelila February 5th, 2014 06:31 AM

Re: People sometimes just need to keep quiet.
I think we should take my MIL, your MIL and most of the MILs from this board and SEND them to the MOON!!! I'm SO tired of their stupid remarks.

momology February 5th, 2014 07:42 AM

Re: People sometimes just need to keep quiet.
I really never knew how many people would have such strong opinions on my body and baby. People need to learn to keep their thoughts to themselves. :hug: like they think you havent put any thought into this??

melissalaw February 5th, 2014 10:01 AM

Re: People sometimes just need to keep quiet.
I hate all those comments also Rachel. you do what you need to do for you and your baby and everybody else can just shut their mouths. I am planning on inducing at 39 weeks 1 day and I'm fine with that decision. it is what is best for me and my peace of mind. And if anybody says otherwise then I will just tell them where they can go.

Danielle80 February 5th, 2014 10:13 AM

Re: People sometimes just need to keep quiet.
I agree with pp's. Who cares what these people (mil included) think! You do what you have to do. 39 weeks is plenty long for your little baby to bake. You are the mom and you make the rules :)

geogeek February 5th, 2014 10:28 AM

Re: People sometimes just need to keep quiet.
Thank you so much ladies! I think I am more upset that she completely discounted my horrible experience with Marsi more than the actual induction comment. She seems to think that just because Marsi was born vaginally, I have no right to think it was a bad experience.

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