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-   -   How to stop being fearful after loss? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/2717418-how-to-stop-being-fearful-after-loss.html)

socialworkmom2be April 22nd, 2014 07:11 AM

How to stop being fearful after loss?
I've had 3 chemical pregnancies in the last 7 months and never even had a beta over 118. I found out I'm pregnant again on April 11th @ 8 DPO. My RE did blood work at 12 DPO and I came back at 154 and at 14 DPO it came back at 459. It was doing great and I've not had any spotting like I did with my other pregnancies.

I'm constantly symptom checking and it stresses me out because I only have excessive thirst and sore nipples. I keep worrying because I think "well my beta should be over 2000 and you'd think that would mean I have symptom.

I have my first ultrasound on May 8, but that's so far away! How have you ladies gotten through the early stages of pregnancy after loss?

geogeek April 22nd, 2014 07:39 AM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
First off, congrats on being pregnant! I am sorry that you are fearful. Unfortunately, in early pregnancy I am a fearful person as well. I have to see a good strong heartbeat on an ultrasound to get relief. I know, not what you wanted to hear, but I don't have anything other than faith. Are you doing anything differently this cycle?

socialworkmom2be April 22nd, 2014 07:44 AM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
Nope! The only different thing that happened was my HSG at CD 10 , I was put on progesterone suppositories as soon as I go my BFP and I stopped taking all my meds (prenatals, folate and asprin) until I got my BFP and I restarted the prenatal. I actually thought I didn't even o, and we didn't have sex 3 days before my suspected o. I was going to stop trying at all because I couldn't handle any more losses or heartache.

geogeek April 22nd, 2014 07:48 AM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
Progesterone is good! I have taken it to get my 2 kids! I hope this is your rainbow baby! It sounds very promising!

Boos Moo April 22nd, 2014 08:34 AM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
Another fearful one here. The only thing that helped me was to stay busy, and having a good cry once in awhile just to release the stress. Sending you sticky dust for a rainbow baby.

MelChicago April 22nd, 2014 11:06 AM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
Congratulations to you!! That is wonderful. Honestly, there's really no way to stop being fearful. Just take every good moment as a good moment, and keep busy. I saw a therapist for a long time who really helped with managing my anxiety- the best advice that resonated with me is that bad/scared thoughts are just thoughts, just neurons firing in your brain, and they don't MEAN anything. You cannot magic things into happening with your mind :) Just acknowledge the thought, don't beat yourself up for having it- but don't dwell on it or give it more power.

Hang in there! You had great numbers and it sounds like you have great care. It's hard when so much is out of our control.

melissalaw April 22nd, 2014 11:48 AM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Progesterone is a good thing. I took it with my last pregnancy. Early pregnancy is so hard. With my first pregnancy my only symptom was sore boobs for the first 8 week or so. Hopefully your symptoms will pick up soon and give you some more reassurance.

HeartHelloKitty April 22nd, 2014 12:07 PM

I have a pregnancy affirmations meditation track that I listen to every night or whenever I'm really nervous that helps sometimes.

socialworkmom2be April 22nd, 2014 12:21 PM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
I just don't really "feel" pregnant because the lack of symptoms :( when did you ladies get symptoms?

Boos Moo April 22nd, 2014 01:59 PM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
Each pregnancy is different. And I may be the odd person out here, but with my last miscarriage I had symptoms until days after my D&C because the hormones were still there. So (for me, again odd person out maybe) symptoms never made me feel relieved. But with DS I had 1 day of morning sickness (yep the whole pregnancy) before I even knew I was pregnant, so very early on. With DD1 I didn't get symptoms until probably about 11 weeks. This time around I got them very early on and they lasted most of the pregnancy. And each time they went away I still thought 'oh I don't feel pregnant anymore', but then we'd have an u/s or I'd pull out the doppler and there she would be :) So don't put to much stock into symptoms. Some people may never get them (there has to be a reason there is a whole show about people who never knew they were pregnant).

MelChicago April 22nd, 2014 04:11 PM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
Yeah, I didn't really have any symptoms until 9-10 weeks? And then they'd come and go- one day I'd have sore nipples, the next day not. One day I'd be nauseated, then just fine. Of course this made me worry, but it really meant nothing. ITA with Therese- you can't "measure" these things by symptoms.

ladytack April 24th, 2014 06:33 AM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
this has been helpful for me to read. i'm just wrapping up my 2nd loss in a row and thinking gosh how can i even handle getting another BFP?? I just got my script for progesterone, though, so that makes me hopeful! And to the other ladies points, symptoms really are different with each pregnancy. If it takes a little longer for them to start it just means your body can handle higher levels of the hcg without reacting.

humnck April 24th, 2014 09:16 AM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
I agree, there really isn't a way to stop, at least not for me. I just tried to hang on to the good signs.

Also, some women don't even have any symptoms, yes this would be lucky, except when you have suffered loss and are looking for those symptoms as a crutch until that first u/s.

My doc told me to remember that there will be days when you feel great, that that doesn't mean anything, and that there will be days that you feel terrible (because I had nausea really badly with my girls). So, try to remember that when you start to feel anxious.

Hugs, I hope the time flies!

MoonAngel702 April 24th, 2014 10:19 AM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
Congrats on your pregnancy! I remember around 6 weeks I was expecting to have morning sickness and lots of symptoms but it didn't hit until little later with this pregnancy. A couple weeks later maybe? But then stuck around for quite a long time, off and on. I agree with the ladies, if symptoms come/go that is normal. Fear after a loss is really hard to deal with. With this pregnancy, I just got to a point where I decided "what will be, will be" and that it was out of my hands and I needed to try to enjoy it. You just have to try to relax and stay positive! :)

socialworkmom2be April 26th, 2014 06:38 AM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
Thanks for all your input ladies. On the 23rd I had woken up with pretty much no symptoms, and I took the last FRER I had an the test line was lighter than the control line. I just knew it was over, but went and gy my betas drawn, I got a call tha the were 6,195!! :) I'm just trying to get to 7 w so I can see my bub

MelChicago April 26th, 2014 07:57 AM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
I'm glad you're feeling encouraged! Yes, there's a point where your HCG becomes so high that hope pregnancy tests can't really read it properly.

EverydayJoy April 26th, 2014 08:34 AM

Re: How to stop being fearful after loss?
I'm glad your numbers are so great! That's encouraging! Some moms find that after a loss, the constant POAS just makes them nuts after awhile! And yes, after a certain number the pee tests don't show up properly.

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