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-   -   Scared silly... (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/338043-scared-silly.html)

JennO October 15th, 2006 09:48 AM


I have been on the TTC after Loss board for a few months. After our m/c in July, I finally got my BFP on Thursday. Now, I am scared to death. I didn't figure I would be this bad. Every little symptom or ache or feeling is horrible. Today, my back hurts... my back hurt when I had a m/c, right between the shoulders. Am I imagining this?? Yesterday, I cleaned the bathroom and gave the dog a bath... I don't have a good back anyway... I also have a bit of brownish CM (sorry if TMI). Yesterday, I freaked and took another HPT (my 7th!!!) and it was VERY positive... I went to the Dr on friday to get bloodwork (don't know the results) and go back tomorrow to get my levels checked again... I am a bundle of nerves. How do I get through the next day?? Not to mention the next 9 months!!??

Kiwi*Mummie*of*4 October 15th, 2006 01:25 PM

CONGRATS ON YOUR BFP. I have had two misscarriages the last one was in august last year. Wehn I got my BFP this time around I was excited but so nervous. I panicked when I got the slightest pain and was forever checkingthe TP. I think it is natural to feel this way after a loss. I am in the third trimester and still I worry that something will go wrong. I hope you find a way to get thru all the worry. This is a great board so welcome.

beck12 October 15th, 2006 02:14 PM

As time goes on - I think I have been able to calm some. It doesn't mean I feel everything is okay - I think it's that I can manage my anxieties better. I still worry over twinges, or lack of them , over silly things sometimes. I am not sure you really escape it - but you will learn to manage it better. It's hard not to worry when you have been through a loss before - but you do hte best you can & have good days & bad ones. Hang in there - it will ease up a little at some point here & enjoy the moments when you aren't nervous.

Brittanie October 15th, 2006 03:50 PM

My problem is I have a lot of CM so I feel wet and "drippy" all the time! ARGH!

But, being that I didn't actually miscarry, I don't think I'm going to really be worried until the end.

:dothug: I hope you can manage the fear!

4iris October 16th, 2006 09:17 AM

For me the first trimester was hardest. I realized around 9-10 weeks that I was no longer checking the tp every time (more like every 2-3 times :lol: ), but for me that was a big step. My doc does an u/s at every appointment, which has been a huge help to me. Each confirmation that things were working helped me relax, if only for a little while. Like Beckie said, it gets easier with time, though there will probably always be something that makes us nervous. That's why I love this board!

margo1973 October 16th, 2006 02:44 PM

Congratulations! The first weeks are hard to get through. I think I took 10 hpts in total, checked for blood every time I went to the bathroom, panicked over hCG levels and freaked out with every ache and pain. It's normal and it does get easier and better with every week.

Hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy!

srs October 16th, 2006 04:25 PM

I think it's especially hard in the beginning, but it does get better. I have had spotting too, off and on from 4wks (and I'm almost 14wks now), and that is a whole other level of nerve wracking, so I understand your concern there.
I'm glad you're getting the bloodwork done. You might see if your doctor will do an u/s too just to see if everything's okay as soon as you are far enough along. That really helped me out, finally seeing a heartbeat after 2 losses.

JennO October 16th, 2006 08:03 PM

I'm still spotting, but I am OK with it... It is like when I was prego with my DD. Probably old implantation blood. So, I will bring that up to my doctor. I went in today for a bloodtest... HGC on Friday and today, but I don't know the results yet. I took an HPT this morning and it was positive... my 8th one... :blush: I think the dr will do an u/s in a few weeks, when the baby is a bit bigger and we can see a heart beat. This office is very conservative in that they want you to have a healthy baby. They put me on bedrest with my DD after having preterm labor once... They also did an u/s at 9 weeks because I was having more cramps than they liked (it turned out to be a cyst on my ovary). So, I think I will be on a u/s track. Thanks for trying to quell my fears!! :)


Vickey October 16th, 2006 11:57 PM


My problem is I have a lot of CM so I feel wet and "drippy" all the time! ARGH![/b]
oh britt don't worry about that i had that same thing for about 3 weeks after i got my bfp

as for the worrying, its hard at first but as time goes by I am getting better with it so I hope you will too, congrats on the BFP!!!!!

he910 October 17th, 2006 06:11 AM

I've learned I have good days and bad - the beginning was very hard for me as my 3 losses were all very early before 8 weeks so it got alittle better after that and like I said I still have bad days where I panic when I don't feel him move as much but it gets alittle easier. Try not to compare this pregnancy to your last. Good luck to you!!!

Brittanie October 17th, 2006 10:10 AM

Jenn, I just want to say congrats again! It looks like we're really close in our pregnancies! Woohoo!

:dothug: I'm not all that worried, but my loss wasn't in the beginning. I'm sure I'll be fine until my 3rd trimester. Then everytime the baby doesn't move for a little bit I'll start to freak out.

DoNiSe October 17th, 2006 01:35 PM

I understand where you are coming from ( I had 3 miscarriages last year, yeah all in one year can not believe I went through all that )

it is still hard every day, different reason different day but I can tell the worries and the nervousness are getting better as each day passes.

Espically now that I feel the baby move, it makes it seem that much real to me.

good luck I am sure everything is going to work out great.

JennO October 18th, 2006 04:16 PM

I am doing better... wishing I was further along than I am (barely over 4 weeks). I had my levels checked on Friday and again on Monday. They went from 26 (can't believe it was that early! I got a positive HPT the day before!) on Friday and in the 280s on Monday... so, doing what they are suppose to. Progesterone was also fine. I feel much more preggo then I did with my m/c... so I will hope that is a good sign. My first OB appt is Oct. 30th... no u/s scheduled yet... I am sure they will check my levels again then.


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