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jumpingoffplace January 4th, 2014 07:05 PM

Hi there
Hi all! My name is Jess. I'm 35 and expecting my 3rd child (5th pregnancy, 2 early losses). I didn't want to just randomly comment without introducing myself. :)

I have two children, 3 and 2 and very much looking forward to the new addition. I didn't think I'd ever have another baby but I guess God had other plans. :)

A little about me... I'm a software engineering consultant and autism advocate. My daughter (3) has autism. She's amazing. I'm facing this as a single mom as this was unplanned (I was on the pill) and the baby's father isn't someone I can envision myself spending my life with. He wants us to get married but I can't... I can't set myself or my children up to live in a completely unhealthy environment because it's the "right thing to do." He has a lot of mental health issues and that adds to his insecurities which leads to controlling... You get the picture. I'm ok with it. I'm strong, I have a great network of friends for support when I need it and I know I'm doing what is right for me and my children. All of them.

I'm in the process of moving into my dream home... I can't wait! I found it before I got the BFP. It has 4 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms and a kitchen with an island big enough I could sleep on it. Comfortably. Which I may end up doing someday with 3 very small children in the house... LOL

Anyway, that's me in a nutshell. I DO have a question... For all of you who have had children before, are you finding this pregnancy to be harder on you than before? There are days (most actually) that I think this baby is trying to kill me. The fatigue and nausea are absolutely debilitating. Is this common as we get older? I was NEVER this sick in my previous pregnancies. Yeah I felt like crap but I could function. Now I can barely manage to get out of bed.... *sigh* It will pass, right??? LOL

Boos Moo January 4th, 2014 09:03 PM

Re: Hi there
Welcome Jess.

Well my last pregnancy was when I was 33 and I can honestly say this one is harder. But I'm not sure it's related to my age (or all to my age) as opposed to lifestyle. I'm a little heavier this time around and because of early complications I've been told to take it easy (which means limited exercise, walking, etc). So I think my body is getting lazier :( Plus this is my first pregnancy with me not working. And I find myself more tired than probably my first two pregnancies combined. In fact I still have days (25 weeks here) where I take naps. I took a 2 hour nap a couple of days ago. So I have way less energy for sure this time around, but again, not sure if it's all based on my age or all the other factors. I can say though it's better than it was during the first trimester where I needed naps almost daily.
Hope you feel better soon and maybe you'll get that second trimester return of energy.

jumpingoffplace January 5th, 2014 06:49 AM

Re: Hi there
Hi Therese! :) Thank you.

I'm really hoping the 2nd trimester is easier. Pre-pregnancy I was a go-getter and productivity machine... Constantly working, on the go, etc. Now? I consider myself productive if I'm showered and dressed before 10am. UGH!!

TripleAmom75 January 5th, 2014 10:18 AM

Re: Hi there
Jess... Way to go girl!! I know how hard it is being a single mom. You sound like a very dependantly,strong woman:) Congrats on your new home!! I just recently purchased a manufactured home..it isn't my dream home, but I can at least say it is mine!!

As for this first trimester misery...We can get through it ladies!!

BTW... You ladies are not old;) I'm gonna be 39 next month!! Lol

jumpingoffplace January 5th, 2014 11:41 AM

Re: Hi there
Thanks so much TripleA :) I get mixed reactions... some people think I should make it work regardless... others, like you, recognize that I'm doing what I need to. I tell those that disagree with my choices to be grateful they didn't have to make them, and move on. It wasn't an easy decision, but it is what I know is right for me and my kids.

Congrats on your home!! Isn't it great when it's YOURS? :) I've been renting since my divorce a few years ago- because I was holding out for a home in the town where my ex lives since that is where our daughter goes to school. It's a great school and I want her to go there (she has autism so I have extra things to consider for her). This is 2.5 miles from the school and about the same from my ex husband which is fine because we are more than civil- believe it or not I actually like his new girlfriend. (I'm not sure about her choice in men, but that's another story.... lol)

This first trimester is gonna be the end of me... Tomorrow work kicks off in full force after the stop-start of the holidays... UGH. I don't know if I can do it... but I *have* to. God give me strength!

KH79 January 6th, 2014 12:48 PM

Re: Hi there
Hi Jess! We are in the August DDC together even though I'll be having my c section on July 30th. I'll be 35 in a few months and totally agree that this pregnancy is WAY harder on me than the last one. I know it was only a year and a half ago, but apparently my body decided that this time it's not going to give me any energy! Like you, I'm typically very productive, work long hours (12+ hours a day plus 2 hour commute), can still have energy left for my 13 month old DD, and on top of it even have fun with my husband or friends once in a while. But not now - ever since my BFP in November, I can barely get out of bed! Seriously. The exhaustion is killing me. Hoping it gets better for all of us \after the first trimester is done!!


jumpingoffplace January 6th, 2014 02:42 PM

Re: Hi there
Me too!!!! Today was a doozy. Ugh. Is it nap time yet????

RandaBear75 January 11th, 2014 02:17 AM

Re: Hi there
I'm 38 this time around and was 34 last time. So much harder! My work is a lot busier and I have a miniman to chase around, too, so that could be part of it.

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