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-   -   Feeling flustered (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f256-recurrent-miscarriage-and-pregnancy-loss/1323831-feeling-flustered.html)

beck12 November 22nd, 2008 12:30 PM

I feel very frustrated lately about the whole idea of TTC. I just feel uncertain about it all - and even resistant to jumping back in at all - but then I KNOW I want another baby - so I don't understand all of my resistance.

Then last week my sister found out my nephew has an immunodeficiency disorder relating to IgA. I don't know a lot about it - but I know it can run in families. I think I should certainly find out if I have been tested for it as it can cause mc..... I think I probably was - but I would like to be sure.

Anyway - it's just been on my mind a lot lately. I was supposed to be TTC again by now - but I just can't seem to really take that step. I believe I was Oing either Thursday or Friday & I feel like on top of my other concerns/issues that I may be getting my cysts back. O has become rather physically uncomfortable for me again & it makes me REALLY bloated & ornery...... Maybe some of that is my indecision & feeling that it is one big fat reminder - but I also think something more is happening there. GRRRRRRR
Just needed to vent.

esparando para bebé November 22nd, 2008 02:08 PM

:dothug: I'm sorry you think the cysts are back. I know how incredibly painfully they can be.

As for ttc, only you can make that decision. The reservations are feeling completely normal. They may never go completely away. Unfortunately, that's part of having recurrent losses. Our losses have robbed us of so much. You said so yourself. Please, don't let them take this from you too.

Lastly, I recommend calling your doctor and asking if you have been tested. If not, get the test. It may make you feel better. Knowing is better than not knowing. :dothug:

BabyBird November 22nd, 2008 03:23 PM

:dothug: I want to tell you to just go for it but I know your fears are real. If it would make you feel better to be tested for the immune disorder I would hold off TTC until then. Do you have PCOS or do you just get big cysts? Would it help to go get an ultrasound to see what you are dealing with? I hope you feel better soon and I wish I could make your fears go away. I know it is scary to think about starting to TTC again and possibly lose another baby but you know probably better than me that the end result is soo worth it. ;) I would say make a Dr appt and get your questions answered and you will feel a little better about moving on with TTC. Good luck!!!

DawnN November 22nd, 2008 03:45 PM

Just wanted to send some :dothug:

auntmeme November 23rd, 2008 06:03 AM

Oh Beckie....I am so sorry that you are feeling so uncertain. I know exactly where you are and it sucks. We have been robbed of this precious time in our lives and nothing will ever bring it back.

Hugs to you!!!

LisaB November 24th, 2008 04:07 AM

:dothug: I'm so sorry about the pain on top of everything else, you certainly don't need cysts complicating things! <_< I agree with April, you might feel better after going to the doctor. You probably know this already, that IgA is a clotting factor, and the treatment is either baby aspirin or a low-molecular weight blood thinner like Lovenox. This does not cross the placenta due to the low molecular weight so baby is safe. I had elevated IgA and it turned out ok in the end. I personally think, though, that elevated clotting factors are not so much the problem in themselves as they are an indicator of other possible immune issues going on, so to keep that in mind when TTC - in my case, MTHFR, Hashimotos and anti-ovarian antibodies (which contributed to increased "bad eggs"). I know, this has nothing to do with feelings of apprehension of trying again. I can't say I relate, since I always felt compelled to TTC no matter what (glutton for punishment), but I do remember how I felt the days after I was sure I'd lost this last pregnancy, which were the most painful feelings I'd had up to then. Which is saying a lot as you know. At that point I was ready to give up and adopt, but looking back I think possibly those feelings were temporary. Or, possibly not. These things are so complicated aren't they. Trying again when you have a daughter, and risking going through another loss knowing you'll have to keep on a happy face for your child, I can only imagine how hard that would be for me (and yes, I am considering trying again too in the future, and I'm not sure I can do it). Whatever you decide, I will be here with hugs and support your decision 100%.

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