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-   -   Would you want to know??? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f256-recurrent-miscarriage-and-pregnancy-loss/2065275-would-you-want-to-know.html)

ambee August 6th, 2010 02:59 PM

Would you want to know???
If you could look into the future and know exactly what the outcome of your baby journey would be, would you?

For example, if you could know now you'd have to go through x amount of losses and x amount of years but in the end you'd get your baby, would that help you at all??

I think it would have helped me a lot. I used to always say that I wished the older me could have written a letter to me when I was going through all of my big losses to tell me "look, you'll have to survive 2 more miscarriages, but in a few years you WILL have a baby and it will all work out."

For me the worst has always been the not knowing.

ZoeChloeMommy August 6th, 2010 05:37 PM

Re: Would you want to know???
I really like this question.

I believe it would help me because it would take away the fear of the unknown. I would know what to expect each time I got pregnant so I wouldn't be so fearful. Once I get that pregnancy that sticks I won't enjoy it because I will be so afraid something bad will happen

MommytoaMiracle August 6th, 2010 07:13 PM

Re: Would you want to know???
A big part of me says yes, because it would be easier, but I'd be so scared I would find out that I will never have kids....That I'm doomed. lol

But if I knew I would one day get my miracle baby, then yes, I think it would be so much easier on the heart to know.

hollann1984 August 6th, 2010 09:28 PM

Re: Would you want to know???
i think i would want to know because each time i have gotten pregnant ive always been so scared of bad things happening( with good reason of course, since it does happen). I would love to enjoy a pregnancy and be care free.

MeganMomof5 August 7th, 2010 10:27 AM

Re: Would you want to know???
Yes I think i'd want to know...If I can't have any more children, i'd rather know than have to suffer loss after loss...Each loss has changed me, and i'm not sure how many more I can go through before I snap.

ftnjn August 7th, 2010 11:05 AM

Re: Would you want to know???
I would of loved to known but I doubt it would of changed how it affected me. Each non chemical loss still affects me maybe a little more now that I can't have anymore.
This year will be 15 years since my first loss, and it still saddens me.

docsmomma August 7th, 2010 03:49 PM

Re: Would you want to know???
I used to think I would want to know but now I'm not so sure.

Yea, it would have been great to know that I would have the kids I have, but it would also mean knowing that we would face the challenges we face now. I love Joey so much but had I known that yes I would have a child BUT he would spend so much time fighting to survive... I don't know that I would have had him. Maybe right now its because his future is still so uncertain and I worry how the other kids will handle transplant and what could happen in transplant. If someone had told me the future and told me I would have a child who would fight for his life AND survive then yes, I would have dealt with it and gone on but if I was told that he would fight for his life, his entire life, and then lose his battle... I just don't think I could knowingly do that.

So in the past I would have wanted to know but today... I am glad I didn't know. And honestly as much as I want to know what the outcome will be in the long run... I don't think I can handle knowing if the outcome is less than what we pray for.

jeanbean August 8th, 2010 07:08 AM

Re: Would you want to know???
This is a tough question for me. Through all these years, I've wanted to know....felt like I needed to know in order to continue through all of the struggles. During our first pregnancy, I felt something was wrong and just did not enjoy the short time we had. After that, I told myself and my DH, from now on, no matter how much time we have, we were going to not worry and enjoy every moment. And we have, despite the terrible endings. I have to believe that there is a plan for our life, and even though we don't know what it is right now, it is all falling into place. I know that all of our experiences have changed us for the better. We are more understanding with each other and with others. Our marriage has strengthened over the years. So even though we've gone through some terrible times, I'm really trying to see the good in it all.

ambee August 8th, 2010 09:41 AM

Re: Would you want to know???
I've just been reminded again why I love this forum so much. It's amazing to see so much strength and grace in one place. :wub:

esparando para bebé August 9th, 2010 06:24 AM

Re: Would you want to know???
Hmm...I don't know...On the one hand, I think I'd want to know how many losses I would have to endure and maybe even the cause. But then I might not have even been willing to try. And I desperately want my rainbow baby...

ambee August 9th, 2010 09:54 AM

Re: Would you want to know???
I really believe you'll get that rainbow baby Augie. :)

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