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-   -   See RE, but DONE ttc? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f256-recurrent-miscarriage-and-pregnancy-loss/2386663-see-re-but-done-ttc.html)

Fallen2Love August 2nd, 2011 03:02 PM

See RE, but DONE ttc?
I hope this is ok to post here. I don't feel like it really fits w/ TTC variety forms.

DH and I are too "exhausted" to continue to TTC after 4 losses. Its just to scary. With how many children exist who are waiting for loving families, we do not feel comfortable with many traditional fertility treatments (IUI, IVF, donor sperm and/or eggs). We do want to have another opinion to find out what could be going on. I feel like I have something going on physically with my body causing the m/c's. I just have a strong feeling that we can not carry a baby to term again. it is so hard to explain.
I feel like we are wasting the RE's time and energy, but by the same token I feel like we deserve some closure and answers. We both are content with adoption and prefer adoption. We've long since mourned the loss of a biological child, we just want closure and that security to continue moving forward.
I don't know, I feel very uncomfortable going to an RE when we have no intention of actually seeking treatment to become pregnant.

esparando para bebé August 2nd, 2011 03:34 PM

Re: See RE, but DONE ttc?
I think it's ok. Yes, most of their patients are ttc, but so what? If you want, just be honest. Tell them up front, you're done ttc but want answers.

plan4fate August 2nd, 2011 03:55 PM

Re: See RE, but DONE ttc?
I ditto augie.

you've got more strength than me. I won't ever give up. adoption and Ma are out of the question for us, DF won't consider.

Fallen2Love August 2nd, 2011 06:17 PM

Re: See RE, but DONE ttc?

Originally Posted by ~Tithen~ (Post 24530138)
I ditto augie.

you've got more strength than me. I won't ever give up. adoption and Ma are out of the question for us, DF won't consider.


Not to be nosey, was df with you when you experienced your losses? It took dh actually seeing me go through the MA and losses before he even opened up to adoption. Lots of very in depth, teary eyed conversations. 5 years ago he wouldnt have considered it, but now he's open to it. I think for him it's kinda like admitting failure, even though it's not ya know? Good luck!

plan4fate August 2nd, 2011 06:38 PM

Re: See RE, but DONE ttc?
No he was not. they were with other men.

He and his ex wife were told that due to something wrong with her they would never have children. That was in the 2 year of their 11 year relationship. They never perused anything. She wanted to, he refused. they got lucky that after her losing 50lbs she did get pregnant with their son. and that turned out to be a dramatic thing that almost cost them their sons life.

So I won't push him. I'm allowed to seek what ever MA I wish, but he won't participate. I understand why, but I don't expect it to be a problem, I have answers for all my losses and only 1 was genetic and it was supposedly a fluke, but since their father has the same trisomy and never knew, and he lost another child to the same trisomy a few years later, I don't believe it was a fluke at all. the rest were from birth control (hormonal) failure and one injury that resulted in them pulling from the uterine wall.

MountainMomma August 2nd, 2011 07:28 PM

Re: See RE, but DONE ttc?
I am right there with you. We've had 8 losses in 5 years. It's so hard. We've been to doctors and they can't tell us why. We are not TTC at the moment. Not preventing, but not trying either.

I think that getting the answers you need is definitely something you should do. Or at least try to do. I really think it's the lack of answers that makes it so hard for me.

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