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-   -   struggling. (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f256-recurrent-miscarriage-and-pregnancy-loss/2450635-struggling.html)

ShesaDreamer November 18th, 2011 07:51 AM

:sigh: As my would be due date is getting closer I am REALLY struggling. My DR wouldn't exactly pin point how far along I was. Judging by my bleeding and periods she said I was at about 12 weeks. But she said my numbers were really high for being only 12 weeks. So she said I could be farther. I don't even know what day I was supposed to be due! I don't know if I would be having a c section in 2 weeks 3 weeks or a month. I just feel empty. DH doesn't understand how I'm feeling. He has never been one to talk about his feelings but I really need him right now but it seems like he is hiding behind a wall. Then when you add in all the trouble that I am having with his other kids I'm just in a really bad place right now. Any positive thoughts or prayers that you could offer me would be appreciated. Thank you ladies. :heart:

Kayla0308 November 18th, 2011 09:49 AM

Re: struggling.
I hope things start to ease up a little. I know how rough things can get. As hard as it is try and stay positive and MAKE DH sit down and talk with you or atleast listen to how you are feeling.

plan4fate November 18th, 2011 12:29 PM

Re: struggling.

I've never gone through a loss with the father of the child.. so I know what you mean about needing comfort from them when it's not there.

LisaB November 18th, 2011 01:06 PM

Re: struggling.
(((HUGS))) I hope you and DH can talk soon and work through your fears together! Though I'm sure you both handle grief differently, and because men seem to not talk about their feelings, it may not exactly be the conversation you want, but you never know! I'm sorry you're having issues with DH's other kids, too, on top of everything that must be really hard. :(

ShesaDreamer November 18th, 2011 04:28 PM

Re: struggling.
Thanks ladies. Dh and I managed to talk through text some today. It's better than nothing. But then I got a call from the youngest boy's principal and he was hiding from his teacher after recess today and wouldn't come when she called. And she said that added with other more minor things he has done all week has earned him a day of suspention. So after break he goes to school one day to get work then he is expelled for a day. :brickwall: Sometimes I think he would be better off to live with his mom but she never punishes him and even does his homework for him. So thats not ever gonna happen as long as I can prevent it.

RinkMom November 18th, 2011 07:21 PM

Re: struggling.
Sorry DHs kids are causing so much anxiety for you. Glad you and DH got to 'talk'. My DH and I have not really been able to talk deeply about my losses. He doesn't get it....

ZoeChloeMommy November 18th, 2011 08:07 PM

Re: struggling.

LisaB November 18th, 2011 09:06 PM

Re: struggling.
I know other parents with stepchildren, and they say it's incredibly hard to be a stepparent because you don't have any power. If you try to act like a responsible adult and offer an opinion about childcare or discipline, you run the risk of everyone resenting you as the "outsider", even though you're right there in the trenches with them. And it can't really change much, though for some of my friends it got better over time. I hope things calm down for you & improve!

ShesaDreamer November 19th, 2011 05:17 AM

Re: struggling.
Thanks girls and Lisa I have been the primary caretaker for these boys for 6 years. My DH got full custody of them 3 days after we were married. Their mom has disappeared for 2 18 month streaches in that time. So she has been gone for 3 of the last 6 years. And we always have these struggles when she comes back. the youngest always tests his limits and acts up because he thinks it's going to make us send him to live with her. But in our opinion she is in NO condition to take care of them. She is still on a fairly high does of Methadone and her boyfriend takes prescrption painkillers for the same back problem that I deal with without the pain killers. (he was a drug addict too)

It's just a really difficult situation.

esparando para bebé November 19th, 2011 10:02 AM

Re: struggling.
*hugs* Sorry things have been so tough. :(

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