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-   -   very negative day (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f256-recurrent-miscarriage-and-pregnancy-loss/2709641-very-negative-day.html)

MzzMommaD February 23rd, 2014 11:03 PM

very negative day
I'm sorry, I'm a complete lurker on this group and I think i may have only posted once or twice. I doubt anyone here knows or remembers me, so, I'm Amanda. Hubs and I have been trying for 3 years now with no luck, and cant afford fertility treatments. DS is now 5 (from past relationship). DH and I have had 3 miscarriages, the most recent being last month, approx 9 weeks along. Well, I have several friends who are pregnant and I finally caved and decided i shouldn't hold on to the baby clothes any longer. Some still have tags. I'm shipping them out to a few friends who are having boys, since they are boy clothes. But im having a really hard time coping right now. I'm jealous and angry that my friends are pregnant, and conceived without any issues at all. I'm jealous that they are able to share this with their partners, when I have been trying to share this with my husband for 3 years without success. It would be his first blood child. I know i should be happy for them, and i am happy for them, over the moon for them! But why not me? Why can't I have this happiness for myself too? I love my son with all my heart, and hes always complaining about being an only child and wanting a baby brother or sister. I just keep telling him mommy and daddy are trying. :( I'm sorry I just needed to get that out there. I'm having a horrible day today. :(

geogeek February 25th, 2014 07:40 AM

Re: very negative day
:dothug: I am sorry. I always hated watching other people get what I wanted. Every announcement was a stab through the heart. Sometimes we just need to be angry because you know what, it sucks!! Vent away.

plan4fate February 25th, 2014 07:45 AM

Re: very negative day

I feel like this a lot. My dss is 8.5, and keeps telling me it has to be soon or he will be too old (I keep telling him but once he gets too old siblings become profitable, when dad and I want to go out alone.. he's not buying it).

We can't afford treatments either, but we're going to try this year to at least find out why it's happening.

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