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-   -   How soon? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f198-stillbirth/2593135-how-soon.html)

Ame C November 8th, 2012 12:52 AM

How soon?
I'm new from the Nov 12 DDC. I lost my son at 38.5 weeks on 11/04/2012. He was my first baby and my DH and I are hurting so bad. We both want a baby more than anything and we are both ready to try again. We are not able to DTD because of course I am way to tender and sore after just giving birth a few days ago. I know you have to wait for everything to heal properly first, but my question is how long should a woman wait before trying to get pregnant again? I don't want to rush into it if it's not safe. It would kill me to lose another child.

When can I safely get pregnant again? -- Thanks.

claire1979 November 8th, 2012 08:51 AM

Re: How soon?
Hi Ame sorry to have to welcome you here (())

Well when i lost Jessica i was too scared to even try again i was like you scared of losing another baby. I started trying again at around 6 months after her loss as well as physically ready and had to be emotionally ready. I wanted to have another baby straight away i was almost desperate but scared. It was a hard decision to try again but i was too scared of not trying again and never knowing if i'd have another baby so we decided to try. Sadly i lost another baby at 11 weeks i was devastated not nearly as bad as losing Jessica but my heart broke. We decided to give trying a break sort of ntnp, after a few months of this we decided that it was too heartbreaking all the stress and the trying we already had 4 other older children and was happy with them. Well a year to the day almost of having the m/c i found out i was pregnant. we weren't trying but she was meant to be Keeley our rainbow baby is almost 5. we are complete now and my OH has had the snip.

So basically to your question, its totally up to you, i guess physically you can get pregnant after you post partum bleed and you are healed and ready to have your period. Emotionally may be totally different, but many ladies who have had a late loss almost always feel like they need to be pregnant straight away again so the right time is only you will know hunny. Your doctor may advise you to wait so and so time but the choice is totally yours.

again so sorry for your loss x x x

sea November 8th, 2012 10:34 AM

Re: How soon?
As a muslim I'll say Assalamo Alaykom (peace be upon you):smile:

Sorry to hear about your loss!

You can get pregnant after your post partum bleed, but ask your doctor if your body is ready first. Keep taking your prenatal vitamins and iron supplement to get strong again to have a healthy pregnancy, even before you get pregnant. Remember before you decide you must think positive and be happy for the coming baby!! you will be a good mom!

take care of yourself, and see you a mom soon;)

~Laurie~ November 10th, 2012 01:39 PM

Re: How soon?
I am so sorry you had to join us here, Ame. My heart breaks for you and the loss of your precious son.
I've had two stillbirths, and in both cases we waited three months to TTC. We were always lucky in getting pregnant the first cycle we try, but our first pregnancy after our first stillbirth was ectopic, and I blame that in part on trying too soon, but I don't know if that is realistic. Ultimately it is up to you, especially since doctors seem to have differing opinions on the subject. I would make sure you are taking your prenatals, and maybe see about adding an iron and calcium supplement since pregnancy is particularly hard on those minerals.
I hope you get a quick and sticky bfp, and that you get to hold your rainbow soon. You will be in my thoughts.

Pleione November 10th, 2012 03:22 PM

Re: How soon?
First, let me offer my condolences. I'm so sorry about your loss and I understand wholeheartedly what you're feeling.

I was in the Oct 12 DDC and lost my beautiful son on July 30th at 32 weeks. It was devastating for both myself and my husband. Just like you, I wanted nothing more than to try again. It was the first thing that came to my mind in the hospital.

When can you try again? Well, whenever you feel you're ready. I received various opinions from midwives to doctors. Midwife said to wait a year or two. Doctor said it could be anywhere from 3-6 months. But the doctor I am seeing now said that there is really no right or wrong time to try again. It's up to us in the end if we feel we are ready. Mentally and physically... unless you had a c-section.

I started 'trying' just as soon as my PP bleeding stopped so just around the end of August. I did not get my period until around mid October, unfortunately. So now I am on cycle 2 and officially 'trying'.

It doesn't matter if I wait many years or get pregnant this cycle, I will always be frightened of losing another baby. But I have to be strong and do this because if I don't I'll always wonder 'what if'. I have to do this so that my little angel can have a brother or sister to watch over.

It's up to you. If you feel ready after PP bleeding I say go for it. If you feel like you want your body to go through one cycle, go for it. If you think maybe a few months, do so. When you feel you are ready, that is the time to do it.

Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy November 22nd, 2012 03:25 AM

Re: How soon?
I am sorry for the loss of your precious little one.

After I lost Rebecca, I wanted to TTC right away - my family doctor advised me to wait at least three months before I tried again - but the decision needs to come from you and your spouse as well - you need to know when you are ready to carry another baby and how you can handle the effects of being pregnant again.

Only you can really answer the question about when it is right for you!

liz bevan December 11th, 2012 09:07 PM

Re: How soon?
I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our son during delivery at 41.5 weeks. We decided to try after three months and then ended up having a miscarrage. The most important thing is to listen to your body, as much as you would like to be pregnant again is your heart ready.

"If you are still waving good bye to a visitor, how can you possibly welcome the new visitor fully"

To me I wasn't fully ready, but each person is different and you will know when the time is right

liza17 March 17th, 2013 10:50 PM

Re: How soon?
After I lost my baby boy at 37wks I wanted to become pregnant ASAP so we started trying 4wks later..I got pregnant 6 months later..I think due to low progesterone levels it took that long..Your hormones have to be balanced or you might have a misscarriage..So that may take upto a year for hormonal balance..You can try Vitex its natural hormonal balance or anything else that will put your body into balance...

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