JustMommies Message Boards

JustMommies Message Boards (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/)
-   Stillbirth (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f198-stillbirth/)
-   -   I need your opinions please! I dont know what I am doing (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f198-stillbirth/2628821-i-need-your-opinions-please-i-dont-know-what-i-am-doing.html)

mommyblueone84 February 24th, 2013 11:12 AM

I need your opinions please! I dont know what I am doing
Two months ago i was 7 months pregnant arguing with my husband and he said."I hope you die and whatever's inside of you. I dont want any memories of you. I DONT GIVE A [email protected]#$ ABOUT YOU OR THAT BABY. I ONLY CARE about Mia ( his child we are raising from his previos relationship. Her mom abandoned her.) Fast forward two months later my son was stillborn. I birthed him all alone because I could not get in contact with my husband and when I finally did I had given birth already and was filling out paperwork so I didnt tell him until he picked me up from the hospital I was in shock. I signed for the hospital to handle all of the arrangements. My husband said he was upset that I didnt tell him to come up to the hospital understandable I thought I was protecting him. We get home and my husband seems fine and he is ok with letting the hospital make the arrangements. He then talks about a burden being lifted off of us and how now he can mve around and make more money because he doesnt have to stay close to home and how we need to downsize seriously the sam night. He then goes downstairs to speak to his mom and brother I told him I didnt want to speak to anyone. The next day my husband tells me that his mom couldnt sleep and she along with his brother are arranging to get my babies remains without my permission and contacting his cousin who works in a funeral home. I broke down and my husband does nothing and says nothing instead he is acting like im offending him and his family. I told him how I felt he called his brother and cancelled and also told him word for word everything I said and also made me look like a villian. We stopped speaking to each other that day he made all the phone calls crying to everyone even the mailman and never consoled me or shed a tear with me I really belive he loves the attention he didnt even care the day before. Some people like to swim in sympathy from others im not one of them I told him I didnt want to be around anyone and he invited his friend over anyway I said ok he is coming to See u im in bed. But no my husband invites him in our bed room to give me the sad speech. Next day his brother had the nerve to tell me I need to adress the family. Next day my husband tells his brother to make arrangements again without my permission. He gets the same out come from me I was furious mind u my husband has been arguing and picking fights this whole time. He changed his whole idea on what we were going to do once he spoke with his family. His mom calls and noone asks how am I doing instead she says we need to get that baby u just threw your baby in the garbage he is not a puppy followed by more judgements crticisms and telling me what I need to do and that I need to get up and go to that hospital now and she is sending her son over to get me. Im crying my heart out and my husband wont even look at me he grabbed his keys and left calling everyo ne making me the bad guy again he said I should just let him do what he wants. He has family I only have a crtically ill mom who is in a wheelchair and sshe is my only support she saud she is worried about me anr she will support me however I choose to handle this she did not force any opinion views or try to but in she said this should just be between my husband and I and we should be a united front not divided at this time. I feel like his family is sttacking and putting me in a corner and my husband my husband does nothing its him and his army against me im am ready to leave him let him do what him and his family wants with our son and move in with my mom I feel dead already I just want to move on. My husband is 19 yrs older than me im 27

claire1979 February 25th, 2013 12:10 PM

Re: I need your opinions please! I dont know what I am doing
Oh gosh so sorry about your loss hun. Do whatever feels right for you. I don't know what else to suggest hun. (()) so sorry again.

liza17 March 17th, 2013 10:21 PM

Re: I need your opinions please! I dont know what I am doing
So sorry..I know this bored really helped me because I needed to talk to some one who has gone through the same loss..My baby Anthony had the cord tightly wrapped around his neck twice..My husband was their the whole time during labor and delivery..When we got home I said I wanted to try for another baby ASAP in like a month but he told everyone he wants a vasectomy..Which was killing me inside and If he did we would not have stayed married..So I ended up pregnant 6 months later and very lonely because he didnt care about the pregnancy..After baby Max was born for the whole year I felt like I was raising my kids alone because my husband was just not interested in helping out...He was the best dad anyone could ask for with our firstborn Michael and then with Max he was the opposite...just absent..not there..always working...or drinking..

balst19 March 19th, 2013 06:54 PM

Re: I need your opinions please! I dont know what I am doing
I really don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for what you are going through.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:02 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright © 2003-2012 JustMommies.com, All Rights Reserved.