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-   -   Feeling a little hopeless (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f114-trying-to-conceive-after-loss/2594670-feeling-little-hopeless.html)

rach84 November 12th, 2012 03:52 PM

Feeling a little hopeless
 
Hi all. I experienced an early miscarriage in September after 6 months of TTC. I was shocked to learn I was pregnant and devastated when I lost the pregnancy only 5 days later. Since my loss, I've become much more positive and accepted that this happened for a reason, and was relieved to know I was capable of conceiving. I waited to get my period once before TTC again. In October, we tried again, and I just got my period yesterday, which started my second cycle. I am suddenly feeling very overwhelmed and worried that I'm not going to get pregnant again, or that it will take a very long time. I've been to an RE and had testing done; everything is normal for me but my husband has motility issues. Also, I don't believe I ovulated last month. Thinking of starting Clomid on this next cycle. Any thoughts or words of encouragement to get me back to a more positive place? I do believe in mind over matter but feel like I'm in a bit of a rut. Not knowing what lies ahead is frustrating.

Happy Song November 12th, 2012 04:15 PM

Re: Feeling a little hopeless
 
I am so sorry for your loss and for you feeling down.

TTC is just a wacky state of being. So I started TTC 21 years ago when I was 18 adn we had nothing. Testing clomid nada. My marriage fell apart and after I got divorced I adopted two boys. The ink was not dry on the second adoption when i got pregnant while on the pill with a "friend with benefits" It was a few more years later after i got married we TTC with medical assistance NADA. Six months after we gave up I got pregnant with Scarlett. After she was born I got pregnant 3 times in 6 months and had three losses. Then in 2010 my rainbow baby was born, and then after he was born I was exclusively breastfeeding, I had not had a post partum AF and I turned up pregnant again. Tessa was born in 2011. After her I got pregnant again NTNP and we lost Seth at 18 weeks in September.

For me I just try not to stress it. I have no control over conception and even if I chart and DTD and everything seems perfect there is no garentee of conception.

Lindz253 November 12th, 2012 04:21 PM

Re: Feeling a little hopeless
 
TTC is definitely a roller coaster. Some days when I feel down I tell myself its ok to be sad today but I need to pick myself up and be positive from now on. And of course I still have negative days here and there but I do try really hard to be positive and not stress too much. I have started reading books to get my mind off of things and since I just had a loss Im starting to focus on working out again. I find if I get involved in things there is less time to sit around and realize how much time things take and all the waiting and stressing.

Frozenoj November 12th, 2012 08:46 PM

Re: Feeling a little hopeless
 
I definitely find that reading helps! since I joined on here I've been slacking when it comes to reading but over the last few weeks I've picked it up again and it has definitely helped. It's a nice little escape from my world of uncertainty.

Blieving4more November 13th, 2012 10:23 AM

Re: Feeling a little hopeless
 
So sorry you are in a "rut" right now but I just wanted to let you know that we all go through those times. We can only fight our grief and fear so long before it creeps back up on us again. What I found most helpful for me and gave me hope, was reading stories of our TTCAL graduates. Women who have been in my shoes and know the frustration of the TTCAL journey but have moved on to have healthy pregnancies and now are holding their rainbow babies. It always gives me such amazing hope and strength to continue on. It also helps me to realize that the things that I feel and the thoughts that I have are normal and though it's not fair, just like many of our graduates, I have, YOU have, the strength to make it through this and move on to carrying your rainbow baby!! :hug:


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