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-   -   Beck's blog (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f74-trying-to-conceive-medical-assistance/1500918-becks-blog.html)

bkro9 March 31st, 2009 10:03 AM

Beck's blog
I think keeping a blog of this whole process will be helpful, and something to look back on when I finally get my BFP!

Hi all. I'm so glad I found this board because I have some "vents" already and need some like minded people to listen!

A little background, I am a 32 (almost 33) year old woman who has yet to even TRY to conceive. I decided to go off the pill last august knowing that I had issues ovulating on my own and hoping I could get that sorted out so when it was time to try, I'd be regular. Well fast forward almost 8 months, and still no period. Doc sends me straight to RE thinking I may have low estrogen levels and might have to go straight to injectables. So much for "trying"!!

My frustration thus far has been with the nurses/staff at my RE center. It's like pulling teeth to get blood results, get in contact with the doctor, etc. Sometimes they are downright rude. Now I am not being the crazy patient, I simply called to see if my blood was in yet and if the doc had seen the results, got put on hold twice for 30 minutes, was promised a callback, never got called back, then my doc was out for a week. Finally he calls and says the most important blood result, the estrogen level, was somehow "forgotten" by the lab. Today I go in to give MORE blood and after a runaround by the front desk, am told that yes, the result WAS in but it takes longer and I should hear from the doc today. Sigh. This is Cornell RE center so it's a pretty well known place here in NYC!

Needless to say, I'm not feeling very optimistic about the whole process and dealing with doctors. Anyone else go through this? I like my doc, but the rest of the staff....forget it.

bkro9 April 3rd, 2009 08:20 AM

Re: Beck's blog
Well I'm still frustrated beyond belief with my doctor's office. I am STILL waiting on bloodwork results. Long story short, I finally get ahold with A doctor (not mine, because apparently he barely works???) who knows nothing about anything. Asks me what I needed, said I was waiting on my estrogen level, says "oh your estrogen level is 12!). Ok...what does that MEAN! "Oh, I can't read your doctor's writing...call him Monday when he's in...and I noticed you have a thyroid antibody?" AHHHHH!! Thanks for NOTHING, and not to mention I've had my thyroid tested 3 times in the past MONTH because of how I've been feeling, and no gyno or PCP would test the antibodies because that wasn't "a problem". I am SO frustrated! One part of me wants to switch, but then another part can't BEAR to start this over yet AGAIN!

Sorry that went longer then planned! I swear, it's not the frustration of getting pregnant...it's dealing with the **** medical system!!!

bkro9 April 5th, 2009 04:43 PM

Re: Beck's blog
Today I'm feeling frustrated and sad. I now have to deal with this thyroid problem on top of the RE...do I switch RE's? Can I even take the next step with this thyroid thing? Will my hair stop falling out? WHY am I watching all of these TV shows about teens and "accidental" pregnancies when I have to rely on a DOCTOR'S schedule who doesn't give a sh*t???

Hoping for a good and EASY discussion with my RE tomorrow...

bkro9 April 6th, 2009 04:40 PM

Re: Beck's blog
The doctor never called. Yes, really. I called twice and he never called. He only works on Mondays. That's another week. UNACCEPTABLE. My hair is still falling out and I can't wait another week, nor should I. I kind of lost it today. No one will help, I don't know what's wrong with my thyroid, or estrogen, or if one is causing the other, I just feel like I've taken steps BACK since I started all this! I am switching doctors and attempting to figure out this thyroid thing. WHY aren't doctors and staff compassionate??? I feel for everyone dealing with this hell.

bkro9 April 10th, 2009 08:34 AM

Re: Beck's blog
OK! New THYROID doc on Tuesday, the following week new fertility doc. HIGHLY recommended, my friend loves him and some "connections" of ourse (thanks glenn!) likes him. Now can my husband's "pal" at Columbia fax him my STUPID blood results???

I just want to feel better! AND THEN TTC!!! I'm really starting to get the bug! I keep thinking multiples would be a great thing...but then I look at all the twin strollers and such...ahhhh not enough space in NYC! :lol:

Feeling positive today!

bkro9 April 16th, 2009 10:28 AM

Re: Beck's blog
Ok, thyroid doc does not think antibodies should cause any symptoms. okkk we'll see! I am really thinking estrogen is IT...if I could just GET SOME so I could feel better! I am just trying to get to ThAT point right now, forget about injectables and trying!!!

Gave TONS more blood this morning for thyroid doc to rule out 10000 other things! Almost fainted!

New RE next thursday, highly recommended, my friend loves him. HOPING he'll give me estrogen!

bkro9 April 21st, 2009 05:56 PM

Re: Beck's blog
SO looking forward to new RE appt. on Thursday. I pray he will agree my estrogen level is low and just GIVE ME SOME! I just want to FEEL GOOD again. Let alone try!!! One step at a time! So sick of feeling like CRAP!

bkro9 April 29th, 2009 01:35 PM

Re: Beck's blog
I am so scared. Had an MRI today. Pituitary tumor. I need to get surgery right away...hoping to hear back from the neurologist TODAY...want to know how bad it's going to be. I am so scared.

bkro9 June 7th, 2009 04:35 PM

Re: Beck's blog
Wow it's been a while. Had the surgery....hell. Pure hell. Loss of dignity, pain, nausea, horrific experience. One I will never forget. On the plus side it's 3 weeks out and I'm on the way to recovery. Tuesday another appointment with RE to see if my hormones are NORMAL or if I still need to go straight to injectables. Hoping for NORMALCY!!!! But either way, I'm excited to start up the process again. Ready for BABY!

bkro9 June 11th, 2009 09:37 AM

Re: Beck's blog
Saw RE! He saw little follies! Now I know they could be cyst related...but there was NOTHING pre surgery in the sonogram, so what the hell, letting myself have some hope! Don't I deserve something to go right after the hell I went through so far this year?

Going back next week to find out NEW blood results, and check the follies see if there's any action! HOPING! It takes so long to get to this RE and I just can't imagine going for injectables daily for god knows how many months. Not that I'm into the clomid idea....what if i could just O on my own now??? It's a possibility! Praying!

bkro9 June 16th, 2009 03:07 PM

Re: Beck's blog
So I just got back from neuro and RE. Nothing good. He had thought it might have been a cyst in my pituitary gland but found out from labs that it actually was a tumor. Which means I did not have it my whole life which made me know already that the RE appt wasn't going to go well.

Went to RE, he said my prolactin is good, but my estrogen is still really low. And in the sonogram there is nothing really changed. He is going to check me ONE more time next week just to be sure but then I start meds. So not only is it bad news but I have to wait ANOTHER week before I start anything. Hoping he still goes straight to injections and not clomid...sick of hearing the horror stories about it.

What a ****** day.

bkro9 June 23rd, 2009 04:31 PM

Re: Beck's blog
Still no activity in the ol uterus but have my injectables class thursday! One more visit friday, vacation and then TTC!!! Soooo excited. I am losing hair like CrAZY and I even let hubby cut it! It's been a nightmare. SO ready to start. I know i'm being naive but hopeful for a first month BFP! What the hell, right?

bkro9 June 26th, 2009 08:05 AM

Re: Beck's blog
So I show up to the injectable class and I am the ONLY one there without hubby! It was so embarassing...they never told me husbands should come! I also found out that I won't be using Follistim anymore...Menapur is the new drug. And it BURNS and I have to mix myself and use regular needles. Fun fun.

July 14th I will start...Soooo ready. After vacation. I can't wait much longer because I am running out of hair..pray this helps that side effect too.

bkro9 June 27th, 2009 08:11 AM

Re: Beck's blog
Another ******* dissapointment. He now says he wants me to have one period prior to starting so I shed the old lining. I totally understand this and it makes sense but WHY didn't he tell me that before? Most likely I will have to do a month of BCP because my estrogen is low and provera won't work. So that's ANOTHER month added. I hate this year.

bkro9 July 14th, 2009 07:01 AM

Re: Beck's blog
Off to the doctor today to find out if it's Provera or bc pill. Hoping for the bc pill even though it takes longer because I NEED ESTROGEN to feel better already!!! After vacation, I feel more relaxed about it because I'm really just relinquishing control right now.

bkro9 July 18th, 2009 03:58 PM

Re: Beck's blog
So on day 2 of the BCpill to bring on period. Feeling a little nauseous. Not that surprising. Hoping to god the estrogen starts making me feel better and slowing the hair loss. I am SO excited to start the injectables august 3rd!!! I don't care that the Menopur will burn or that I'll have to go to the doc every single day! Want this bfp so bad...I know it's wrong to hope for first round BFP but it's too late for that...saying my prayers.

bkro9 July 28th, 2009 02:22 PM

Re: Beck's blog
Almost done with week 2 of bcpill! Feeling huge boobs and cramps and never been happier! Hopefully this time next week I'll be amidst injectables!!!

bkro9 August 3rd, 2009 03:04 PM

Re: Beck's blog
YA! Got my period yesterday and MAN what a doosie! Cramps like crazy and a hormonal MESS! Just got the call from the doc CLEAR to start injections tonight! Never been so excited to stab myself!

bkro9 August 4th, 2009 02:38 PM

Re: Beck's blog
Did my first injection! I was so scared...hubby wasn't home which was a mistake. I told him not to cancel his meeting but when the time came I regretted it. But I did it and honestly the shot was NOTHING!

The after effects...a different story. Shortness of breath that scared me. That went away. Now just cramps and a HORRIBLE headache. Debilitating. How will I get through it all? And maybe months of this?

bkro9 August 6th, 2009 05:14 PM

Re: Beck's blog
Day 4 of injects. It's gotten easier yet I'm more depressed. I'm depressed because I want to be able to just have sex with my husband and create a baby. I want to be able to sleep in the morning rather then go give blood every day at 7am. I don't want to be consumed by creating a baby. I don't want to have wasted months on surgery and recovery. I don't want to have stomach aches, cramps, headaches from this drug. Just having a down day. Knowing that this month is most likely only the beginning of another "process".

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