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-   -   What would you do?? (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f74-trying-to-conceive-medical-assistance/2631236-what-would-you-do.html)

Lindz253 March 3rd, 2013 11:57 AM

What would you do??
I am 99.9 percent sure this IUI didn't work this cycle.

If we do another round and IUI next cycle I would be due in December. My oldest was born December 19th. So here is my question....would you take a break this cycle to not have another December baby (while also competing with Christmas?) or would you go ahead and try?

For a while I always said I wouldn't try this month as to not have another December baby but now that the time is here and Im not pregnant I kinda sorta do want to try. But Im worried that is being selfish not to let my oldest have her own birthday month since she is already having to deal with Christmas.

Im just curious as to what other people would do. I obviously need to have a discussion with DH but Im sure if I really wanted it he would go along with my wishes.

Also another question. Has anyone ever taken a one month break on the meds? I wonder what it would do to my cycle? I just don't know if it would be good to keep changing everything every month (first month I was on 5 mg and O'd super late (later than my norm) then this cycle I did 7 mg and O'd cd 14- which is way earlier than my norm) so Im just worried if I don't take meds who knows what my body will do...

Sorry for all the blabbering, Im just trying to think everything through now so Im prepared when AF comes.

swtneka March 3rd, 2013 12:43 PM

Re: What would you do??
U r only 10 dpo how can u be so sure u r out?

MandyEllen March 3rd, 2013 12:44 PM

Re: What would you do??
I've thought about the Dec birthday thing too. You have another child with a Dec bday, so you're in a different situation. My DH and I have decided that we want a child so badly that we won't take a break just because of the due date. There are plenty of people born in Dec that have to deal with Christmas too. We have a lot of people born in May in both our families, but we'd take a May baby! GOOD luck with your decision.

~~MeeMee~~ March 3rd, 2013 12:53 PM

Re: What would you do??
Hi, hopefully all your thinking and planning for the next cycle is unnecessary because the 0.1% will win and you are indeed preggo!! but Iím know what itís like to have doubts and plan so I wanted to share a little more of my story with you since Iím had some of the same thoughts as you...anyway...

I also have a December baby, he was born very early on the 26th, so I still refer to him as my Christmas baby. So when my DH and I decided to try again, I was 35 and thought it would just happen (DS was first cycle after coming off BCP for 4 years, pregnant even before I had my first post BCP AF). We were old so I figured it would happen as quickly so we were kind of NTNP, but actually preventing during certain times to avoid things like having another December baby, or I didnít want a baby due around our anniversary, things like that....but after a year and a half or so of that and no pregnancy I learned about charting, and while learning about charting I read some things about gender swaying, and talked to DH about that so decided hey, if we are only going to have 2 why not try to sway for a girl this time, so I charted and we did things like cutting off closer to O and I even did the vinegar douche thing once, all in hopes of actually getting pregnant ..doesnít make since now and I almost cry thinking about how that most likely actually kept me from getting pregnant, when even though a girl is a nice thought, we want a BABY regardless of gender...

Anyway, flash forward 4 year and Iím now knocking on 40ís door, two IVF cycles and still no baby, there was maybe one quick fraction of a fraction of a second when both DH and I thought to skip doing our FET this month to avoid a December baby...but all the obstacles weíve gone through we will not avoid for things like due date...especially because I am trying to prepare and plan myself for the fact that this FET is not guaranteed to work, so planning for that future just in case it doesnít work, and will possible be able to do another IVF cycle before 40...(PRAYING this FET works, but preparing for the worse)

Only you and your DH knows the answer to your question about avoiding a December due date, but just wanted to tell you be careful about holding off too long, with fertility you just donít know whatís going to happen, but there is definite a clock ticking

Sorry for so long....

*Leah* March 3rd, 2013 01:30 PM

Re: What would you do??
I, like Aimee, have thought long and hard about this question re Dec baby....should I put off IVF for a month so that I will be due in January? And I realized that I'm not going to put it off a month more (if I can help it!! HOPING RE is on board with that too!) But if I do put off a month, I'm quite sure Carma will give me twins and I'll be due in December anyhow HAHA! So, I decided not to wait. My dd with my loss was 12/12/12, I was okay with a December baby last time. And I'd really like to be pg before my M/C Anniversary of 5/15.

I used to not want a December baby, but like Aimee said, now I just want a baby, no matter what.

That being said, I do not already have a Dec baby like you, but I did take breaks between most of our IUI's. I think it was over a year before we did all 5. It was just emotionally and financially draining and I needed that time in between. So if you want to take a break and have a natural cycle, do it. Who knows, I've heard that clomid (not sure if same is true for femara, but would probably assume so) you can still ovulate just as well the month after, as it stays in your system somewhat for 6 weeks.

Best of luck to you whatever you decided. You can't make a wrong decision!

Cait&AngelAbove March 3rd, 2013 01:30 PM

Re: What would you do??
I am keeping my fingers crossed for you that you get your bfp this cycle. I personally would not skip the next cycle but I agree that it is something you and DH have to come together to make a decision.

*Whiskey* March 3rd, 2013 01:46 PM

Re: What would you do??
I have two December babies. Less than a week apart. They get separate birthday parties, they get a huge Christmas, they love having December birthdays (least as far as they've told me). My oldest loves the history associated with his birthday week so that was a plus lol.

But seriously, I wouldn't avoid just for the date. But that's just me.

JulieMc March 3rd, 2013 04:18 PM

Re: What would you do??
I would personally keep trying. I don't care if my kids are born in the same month. I think you're placing too much importance on that.

10thtimearound March 3rd, 2013 04:51 PM

Re: What would you do??
I would love ANY EDD I can be blessed with. I have Sept 20th and Sept 27th boys born almost 2 years apart. I was due the end of DEC 2x and have a Jan 3 and a Jan 9th baby girls But I have never taken EDD into account when ttcing I am HOPING to be blessed with a Early/Mid Dec baby:) this time around.

Lucy S. March 3rd, 2013 06:23 PM

Re: What would you do??
What do other people do?
Get drunk and get knocked up without trying :lol:

I have a Dec 10th baby who is 8 and I wouldn't worry about it. Esp when they are spaced. I have found Christmas theme to be a fun month for a birthday (we went caroling during his party this year and the year before we did a craft party and all the kids made gifts for family).
I think kids are very resilient, much more than we give them credit for :0 And the vibe you give off lind, you are an awesome mom and these kids probably have a frigggin great life. i doubt they would say, "geez mom, you screwed me up having a birthday the same month as my sister!" ;)

i won't give up a cycle unless I have to for medical reasons.

ChicaChels March 3rd, 2013 10:01 PM

Re: What would you do??
i dont think she will mind sharing her birthday month as long as you emphasize her birthday is HER day, you know? no different than having a baby april 30th 2011, and then may 1 2013 - different months, but one day after the other - kids don't care that much, as long as they have their own special day :)

My husband's family has a TON of december birthdays - starting on dec 18th and one every day up through the 31st (my husband is the 27th and his cousin was born ON christmas) and his family always made it a HUGE deal to never celebrate the days together. He never got birthday presents for christmas mixed in, and he still got the same amount of gifts as his siblings did for his birthday and for Christmas(i think he probably got a couple extra just because his parents wanted to empasize that it didn't matter to them that he was born 2 days after Christmas, the 27th was still HIS day) ...

His cousin with the christmas birthday, got christmas breakfast, a birthday breakfast, and then they had the traditional big christmas lunch and she got to pick whatever she wanted for dinner, or they would wait and go out the next day if that's what she wanted, but that wasn't a big deal because they usually wait to go out for her brother's birthday just so it's fair. they had Christmas gifts in the morning, then she got the birthday celebration in the afternoon. they are a pretty religious family, so they ate lots of birthday cake - one for beth, one for jesus :)

That being said, the biggest thing for me would be the financial constraint of it all - but i would just learn to shop smart and shop EARLY, especially for the kids celebrating birthdays in december. i wouldnt let that stop me from getting a baby bump!

Good luck mommacita, i say go for it :) you will never look at your december baby and go "man i wish we would've waited a couple more months for you"

nikki52687 March 3rd, 2013 10:53 PM

Re: What would you do??
I wouldn't skip a cycle to avoid a December baby. My best friends boys are December 30th and jan 2nd. Another friend has 3 boys, all in the first 2 weeks in December.

However, I may consider skipping a cycle if I would have an October due date...I know this is silly, but I had 2 miscarriages and both were due in October, so I just have bad feelings about October due dates, lol.

Lindz253 March 4th, 2013 05:11 AM

Re: What would you do??
Thank you all so much for your replies! It seems like every single person wouldn't hold off lol

When we started trying to get pregnant the first time due date was never a thought. I guess I let stupid people get in my head about having a baby in December. It has been ever since I was pregnant and even strangers would ask when I was due and then they would get a sad look on their face and say something like " all thats too bad you are having a December baby and they will have to deal with all the Christmas stuff" or " your baby will get jipped from presents since its Christmas time" etc etc...

I never viewed it as anything bad. Riley is 5 now and every year we have had a party with birthday decorations (usually some sort of princess :p) and it seems to work out. My worry was really not for me but for the kids, like THEY wouldn't like both having a December birthday around the holidays. When Riley was younger I had talked to adults who didn't like their birthdays being in December.

I don't want to take a cycle off and my DH was on board with me so I will just have to make it a point to make each child feel special.

onlybygrace March 4th, 2013 06:12 AM

Re: What would you do??
As its my first, and we've been trying for 2 years...I wouldnt skip a month.

muffin March 4th, 2013 07:50 AM

Re: What would you do??
Apparently I'm the odd one out here. We talked about it, and while DH would be on board with a December baby, I am not (I'm the 16th though, so that's probably why :p). Not to say that we're avoiding during that cycle, but I'm certainly not scheduling an IVF cycle at that time!

I'm weird though. And you probably already knew that :D

*JenJen* March 4th, 2013 08:05 AM

Re: What would you do??
I'm one who would skip a cycle to avoid a december due date. Considering all my miscarriages and how rough Christmas is already for me, I would not want to add a december due date to the mix.

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