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-   -   Shock of My Life (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f74-trying-to-conceive-medical-assistance/2653360-shock-my-life.html)

cutenurse24 May 24th, 2013 10:54 PM

Shock of My Life
I have been mulling it over how to say what I am about to say. So my mom called me this morning after my in-laws left. She told me that my dad had a CT Scan done this week because he was still having some numbness on the left side of his face. The family doctor had treated him 6-8 wks ago with what we thought was bells palsy. My dad finished the treatment for it and it never got better or went away, instead his symptoms got worse. So they did the CT scan and it showed a small mass in his brain. My parents met with doctor that specializes in radiation and an oncologist. My dad also had an MRI done so they could get a better picture of what is going on. We radiation doctor and oncologist already spoke to each other. They referred my dad to a neurosurgeon and will see him on Tuesday. My parents live in a small town and will most likely seek a second opinion. The oncologist said she could help get them to see some more experienced people with lots of experience in dealing with this. They think what my dad has is called a schwannoma (which are usually benign most of the time). It is pressing on three cranial nerves which is why he has been having so many symptoms: facial palsy, can't feel one side of his tongue, can't feel himself swallow on one side of his neck/throat, and he has lost all hearing in his ear. So the plan would be to either remove it or do radiation. The oncologist really recommended surgery because she feels that is a much better option since my dad is young and healthy. Since my dad's symptoms are just getting worse, they would really like to act more quickly about it.My dad would have to stay at least a night in the ICU post surgery and then several more days on the floor before going home. But he would have to be off work for 3 months!!! Which is scary for my parents because they really rely on both of them to work in order to pay the bills.

So because of all of this we are putting TTC with medical assistance on hold. Of course I already started the D*m* Clomid!!! So I am going to call on Tuesday and cancel this cycle and probably our follow up appt in July. No point in seeing the doctor when we haven't even done the IUI once. I think that since we are going to not do medical assistance right now that I am going to pursue acupuncture like I have wanted to this whole time but DH kept turning me down because he knew the doctor could fix everything and we would get preggo. Well the doctor can only do his job and get us preggo if Mr. Tightwad would part with some of our money to do it. It really hurts me and makes me more depressed thinking about not pursuing any more medical assistance right now. I had such high hopes for this year of getting pregnant and finally giving our son a sibling. It just hurts so bad that that isn't a possibility right now. The last 2 yrs have been awful, I really had high hopes the 2013 would be better or different and so far, not so much. Wishing it was 2014 already.

So I apologize for not being on here the last couple days. I worked and then had to entertain the in-laws which was so much fun.
Thank you ladies for all your love, encouragement, and support. More than anything I covet your prayers. My parents names are Bruce and Cindy. I promise to keep ya'll in the loop!!!

Love Ya,
Sarah Jane

Lucy S. May 24th, 2013 11:04 PM

Re: Shock of My Life
Aw Sarah jane i am so sorry you are going through so much and now you can't proceed with the MA :( I know how hopeful you have been!
I hope you stick around here on the TTCMA board!!
I will be praying for your dad and you love!

cutenurse24 May 24th, 2013 11:45 PM

Re: Shock of My Life
It totally sucks Lucy. My heart is breaking and I am trying so hard to be strong and not let all of this get me down. But it sucks so bad and leaves me feeling depressed. I hate having a broken body and I am so tired of crying. My eyes are all red and swollen,my head is killing me,and I am having wonderful AF cramps that are awful. I will stick around if you want me to and will just live vicariously through ya'll. The more I think about it I don't know if I will ever get a chance to be a mom again. What sucks the most is I can't even be with my family right now due to work. It is at times likes this when I hate living 12hrs from my family.

Lucy S. May 25th, 2013 01:22 AM

Re: Shock of My Life
You need to stick around where we know how you feel :console: at least about the TTCMA part.
So no way you can just finish this cycle out?

cassthomas852 May 25th, 2013 07:19 AM

Re: Shock of My Life
I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Like Lucy said, feel free to stick around and post your thoughts or just to vent. I really hope the best for your dad and I hope your dreams will come true soon.

LucyAnna May 25th, 2013 07:57 AM

Re: Shock of My Life
It's times like this I hate saying "i can completely understand" but a sick parent is such a hard thing for us as children. I too know the feeling about making the decision whether or not to continue with ttma. When we made the decision to continue to move forward, I asked my dr if he thought I was insane for taking on this while caring for my very ill mother. And his reply, shocked me! He said, "no, you need for you and help give you a mental break from the issues we are dealing with your mom" and he has been right! Even though my stress levels are through the roof, I have found this cycle has flown by and i get a chance to take a break mentally from my moms issues. Which might sound bazaar to do at such a critical time but dealing a mother who is- every day is touch and go is sickening. I'm not trying to imply your family is in that place, but don't be afraid to keep moving forward and don't feel selfish. You'll run yourself ragged stressing over not ttc and your dads health.
I will be adding you and your dad to my prayers and I pray for answers and healing for him.

*Whiskey* May 25th, 2013 08:10 AM

Re: Shock of My Life
Oh Sarah Jane, I'm so very sorry you're having to go through all of this. I wish I knew what to say to give you comfort. I will keep your father in my prayers.

nikki52687 May 25th, 2013 08:54 AM

Re: Shock of My Life
so sorry, prayers for your family:(

ChiChica May 25th, 2013 09:00 AM

Re: Shock of My Life
I'm so sorry and will be praying for your family. I'm sure it feels like you can only focus on your dad right now, but maybe as his treatment progresses you can get back to TTCMA. It will be stressful for sure, but once stress reaches a critical point, it sometimes seems to fade away. You just get through it. I'm sure that if you asked your dad, he wouldn't want you to give up on this dream just yet.

Onelove121 May 25th, 2013 09:10 AM

Re: Shock of My Life
:( Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers ♥♥♥ ((HUGS))

Cait&AngelAbove May 25th, 2013 10:10 AM

Re: Shock of My Life
I am so so so sorry! I will be saying lots of prayers for your family!!!

cutenurse24 May 25th, 2013 11:09 AM

Re: Shock of My Life
Thanks ladies for all your prayers and support. I think I will stick around. I want to carry on with MA but not sure it is going to be feasible if my dad has surgery in the next wk or so. I am supposed to have my ultrasound on June 2nd. Besides my husband is being tight wad with our money and just isn't ready to part with some of it. Ugh!Looks like I am going to have to start selling some baked goods and or diaper cakes to start my MA fund.

Raunchero May 25th, 2013 01:31 PM

Oh Sarah Jane I am so sorry. I hope everything with your dad turns out wonderful. Kup. Also, I think you should finish out this cycle atleast then your mind won't wonder the what if's.

swtneka May 26th, 2013 02:42 PM

Re: Shock of My Life
I'm sorry u r going through this. The stress with not being able to ttcma n of course the stress of your dad being sick. I'm going to keep u n you're family in my prayers.

melissaleigh May 26th, 2013 05:55 PM

Re: Shock of My Life
Glad you are going to stick around. So sorry you are going through all of this. definitely sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family

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