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-   -   Coming Back... (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f260-trying-to-conceive-older-members/2630971-coming-back.html)

lelila March 2nd, 2013 06:50 AM

Coming Back...
Yesterday was our 12 wk U/S. Two different techs found No HB. The baby had stopped growing a week ago. D&C scheduled for early this week.

The hardest thing in the world for a woman is to lose their baby. The hardest thing in the world for a mother is to tell her child that the baby is not coming. My heart is absolutely broken for my son, who spoke to the baby everyday.

It's going to be a hard couple of weeks. I'm thankful for my DH who has been so supportive and my son who is the most loving child. And for you ladies, for all your support here and on the other boards.

I'm not being antisocial, but I hope none of you are here when I return to TTCing because you all got your BFPs.

Be Well my friends!

[email protected][email protected] March 2nd, 2013 09:35 AM

Re: Coming Back...
oh sweetie I have no words but that I will pray for you and your family its not easy loosing a baby I have had a d&c but that was 18 years ago and its still hurts.. I hope and pray for a speedy recovery and take time for yourself to heal god bless you hun.

Believingforonemore March 2nd, 2013 10:15 AM

Re: Coming Back...
There is nothing I can say that will make this hurt any less. Just know I am thinking about you. Your baby is in the presence of Jesus. And one day you will meet him/her. ((((Hugs)))

vickyblueeyes March 2nd, 2013 10:21 AM

Re: Coming Back...
Oh sweetie I'm so sorry .I'm so sad for you . Just don't know what to say . Sending you big hugs .thinking of you . X x

katydae88 March 2nd, 2013 10:39 AM

Re: Coming Back...
I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was something that I could say that would help but I know there isn't. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!!

10thtimearound March 2nd, 2013 03:53 PM

Re: Coming Back...
((Hugs)) I am so sorry for your loss :( It is such a painful experience and I am so sad yor going through it. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Tinky March 2nd, 2013 09:00 PM

Re: Coming Back...

HeatherJ March 4th, 2013 08:25 AM

Re: Coming Back...
I'm so sorry to hear this. Good thoughts to you and your family during this rough time.

jeragiz March 4th, 2013 06:26 PM

Re: Coming Back...
perhaps sorry are not the words you wanna hear but I am and I feel for you had a loss in oct at 15 weeks...so can relate as im sure others can as well hope that you recover soon mentally as well as physically god bless you and your family

LauraTTCat42 March 7th, 2013 04:44 AM

Re: Coming Back...
I'm so sorry for your loss :(

lelila March 7th, 2013 06:05 AM

Re: Coming Back...
Thank you ladies, for all your support. I went through the D&C yesterday. I cried until the anesthesia kicked in. When I woke up, I felt numb, empty and incomplete. This morning, I don't feel anything, just a overwhelming sense of loss and anger.

After last Friday, I had been walking around with so many questions and doubt. I scheduled another U/S for Tuesday, because I wanted to make sure and to say goodbye. The U/S showed the same thing we saw on Friday. I cried the whole day, but I knew in my heart and mind that the D&C was necessary and would keep me healthy.

I spoke to my OB yesterday a few times. She was SO incredibly sweet, sympathetic and explaining everything and telling me to wait at least 1 maybe 2 cycles before we start again. And she wants us to go through chromosomal testing first, just so we have more information before we start.

We decided NOT to test the tissue that was removed yesterday. It wouldn't make a difference what was found. We aren't going to stop trying, at least not yet.

I hope you all find yourselves in the happiest and healthiest of places.

[email protected][email protected] March 7th, 2013 08:03 AM

Re: Coming Back...
oh hunnie Im sorry praying for you

vickyblueeyes March 7th, 2013 11:26 AM

Re: Coming Back...
Hun I feel for you . Going through that is just heartbreaking . There are no words that will make it better for you right now . But I'm sending you hugs and hoping you recover both in mind and body very soon . Xx

Believingforonemore March 7th, 2013 08:15 PM

Re: Coming Back...
You're breaking my heart. Have you ever read Heaven is for Real? I really think this book will help you through this process. It did me. (((hugs)))

IBelieveInAngels March 10th, 2013 02:51 PM

Re: Coming Back...
Oh friend, I am so very sorry. I really don't know what to say except to say I'm sending a bigtime virtual hug to you and your family.

I know a woman who suffered a first trimester miscarriage, and she was so devestated, she turned her pain into a book to help others. Not having been through this, I can't and won't try and say I know what it's like to be in your (and her) shoes, but the book was written beautifully and is given out in bereavement packages in the author's local area...may I share the link to the page for it?

All That is Seen and Unseen

It's called All That Is Seen and Unseen by Elizabeth Petrucelli; I read it cover to cover, and while a book won't take away your heartache, it was written very well and aimed towards moms who lost their babies early on.

Much love to you and yours...

lelila March 11th, 2013 07:52 AM

Re: Coming Back...
Thank you for sharing. I have read so many stories now, and sometimes they make me feel better and sometimes they makes me feel more sad and desperate - there are so many women who have gone through this, it seems that more women miscarry than have successful pregnancies.

I've read a few articles and short books about this. I'm feeling a little lost in all of it, I don't quite fit into the 'early pregnancy' category where so many women saw the beginnings of a pregnancy but didn't get to see it advance to a heartbeat or beyond. And I don't fit into the category where so many women could already feel the baby.

I'm somewhere in the middle. We saw the baby's heartbeat. Saw the baby moving and wiggling. Saw a head, the spine, the buds of arms and legs. Then a few weeks later, the baby LOOKED like a baby - fully formed, arms and legs. But it was not moving. There was no heartbeat. DH said "He's sleeping". I will never lose that image in my mind, seeing the baby lying so still.

Thanks for letting me talk about it.

Believingforonemore March 11th, 2013 08:39 AM

Re: Coming Back...
I know you are hurting. Any woman in your shoes would be hurting right now. I am hurting for you :(

vickyblueeyes March 11th, 2013 12:11 PM

Re: Coming Back...
The pain your feeling is hurting so much .wish I could say something to make it better.take each day at a time .

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