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-   -   Need to vent! (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f260-trying-to-conceive-older-members/2695756-need-to-vent.html)

Posgo001 December 2nd, 2013 09:33 AM

Need to vent!
This is a repeat post...realized after I posted it on the other link, that I probably should've posted it here...so, better late than never :)

I'm new to this--only the first month of TTC after a tubal reversal surgery, and already I can start to understand how frustrating this whole process is! It is supposed to be fun, but it is starting to become a part time job!!! I'm pdo 7 or 9 (between fertility friend and OPKs, I'm real confused on when I O'd).

I over-analyze EVERY thing!!!

I gave up alcohol 3 months before we started TTC...I became gluten-free last month...I gave up caffeine (except that one morning cup of coffee)...and I would give my right arm for a diet coke right now & don't ask me what I'd do for a glass of wine...I eat a big leafy green salad with salmon every day for lunch (I think I'm sprouting gills).....Could anyone tell me what my DH has given up?!?! If I didn't love him as much as I do, I'd probably stab him with a fork for WHATEVER he is eating, lol!

If I have a pelvic twinge, with one part of my mind, I'm thinking "what's that?"...I swear the other half of my mind is laughing at me while saying "it's gas, you big dummy!"

If I use the bathroom, I am looking for the slightest tinge of what could be implantation bleeding...& don't think I haven't googled what that looks like (gross, I know, Lol!)

I check my boobs to see if they are the slightest bit sore--nope! Then, I think "well I have implants...maybe they won't be as sensitive"....you should come visit me in denial, it is a great place to be!

I have 2 FRER tests that I feel that I can almost guarantee will burn a whole in the bathroom drawer by Saturday, if I don't use them!!!

This 2ww is for the flippin birds!!!

Just when I think I will just switch gears and focus on the holidays, I remind myself that I turn 42 on Christmas day...my eggs are going to expire soon if I don't go ahead and use them!!!!

Ok..End of rant!!! Thanks for letting me vent before I exploded into one big messed up pile of hormones!

I think I'll just go out Christmas shopping today...time to start anyway! A little retail therapy never hurt anyone, right?!?


lelila December 2nd, 2013 10:40 AM

Re: Need to vent!
Hahaha Paula! What a great post! You truly belong here, you have a great sense of humor! I'm sorry dear, that you are going through it all. TTC is for the BIRDS!!!

But Welcome! This is a great place to be if you have to be anywhere. The girls are fantastic and we all have a great sense of humor, and you definitely need it. Boy of Boy have you said it. The sacrifice, the waiting, the fortune you spend on tests, the waiting, the lack of sacrifice DH makes, the waiting. Yes, it's SO NOT fun sometimes.

It's worth it. We all know it is. I hope all you ladies get that BFP soon. You all deserve it.

jes81878 December 2nd, 2013 11:12 AM

Re: Need to vent!
I had a tubal reversal in 5/09, and it took my body over a year to adjust. After the reversal, I would get sore boobs, morning sickness, what I thought was implantation spotting, my periods would come a few days late at times, and I drove myself crazy. Based on my symptoms, I just knew I was pregnant. I would start testing at 10 dpo and was devastated every month when my period came. I let TTC control my life and was miserable.

Your body is going through a lot of changes with the reversal and it will take time for you to feel "normal" again. A few people can get pregnant within a few months after a reversal, but most people take over a year. I know this is easier said than done, but I would continue to live the same way you did before the reversal and take a prenatal vitamin daily. TTC is hard and miserable by itself, and if you give up all the things you enjoy, it's going to be so much more difficult and heartbreaking. I hope you get your BFP soon.

Believingforonemore December 2nd, 2013 07:44 PM

Re: Need to vent!
Oh Paula, Paula, Paula we do feel your pain. We have all been there. Hell I've been there a year and half. I just ordered 36 FRER tests off Ebay. I figure I need to use 3 a month before they expire. How's that? I will be 42 in February. Every month that passes I feel more and more pressure. Hang in there girl, we're in this together!

ctymom December 3rd, 2013 10:03 AM

Re: Need to vent!
You're not alone in your rant! This is my first month at TTC and I'm already over thinking everything. lol I can't imagine the frustration of those going months and years TTC. My 4 other children were surprise gifts... this is my first time actually TTC. I'm an impatient person. When I have my mind set on something....I want it to move right along.

Posgo001 December 3rd, 2013 04:06 PM

Re: Need to vent!
Thanks, ladies for the encouragement. I know that I was venting/preaching to the choir. I was just about to explode from impatience!
My first 2 pregnancies only req'd tequila....this time, I'm older and avoiding it like the plague--my, how times have changed! LOL

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