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-   -   The journey of creating life (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1885-ttc-adventure/2502789-journey-creating-life.html)

FishermansWife4 March 17th, 2012 10:12 AM

The journey of creating life
I'm tearing up just thinking about writing this. It's a hard life I lead. However, I'm truly blessed! I'm married to my best friend, I have 3 amazing children that I had all via c-section, and a beautiful step son who has my heart just as much as my children by birth do. My Dh is a commercial fisherman. 6 months out of every year, he goes out sea, leaving me to be with the children alone. The money is great
and certainly maintains our children's needs, however, I fell in love with him, not the money.
I'm on Cd6.. I just came off seasonique last sunday. I started bleeding on monday. I just checked my app to male sure I got the dates right. Prior to seasonique, I was on the shot from January till October. I bled constantly while having the injections. My Dh came home from being away since September In February. We made the decision to ttc #5 and got started as soon as I was sure my body could handle it.
I have zero support from friends and family on ttc #5. They think we're crazy and shouldn't try. My Dh doesn't care what they say but he doesn't understand how hard it is to have no support during a very difficult, scary, fragile time in my life. Le sigh. It'll all come together. I've got faith

amandaleigh March 17th, 2012 01:02 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
Good Luck! Only you and your husband can know what is right for your family.

FishermansWife4 March 17th, 2012 03:36 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
Thank you very much :)

FishermansWife4 March 19th, 2012 07:58 AM

Re: The journey of creating life
Oh gosh! This is my first cycle of of bc so I don't know what will happen since I don't use opks, however, I MIGHT OVULATE THIS WEEK!!! Oh! I will be bd'ing the days and nights away (as long as Dh cooperates) And even if I miss the egg or I don't ovulate, it's okay, I'll have fun trying anyway lol
Gl everyone this cycle!

FishermansWife4 March 20th, 2012 06:49 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
Dot dot dot exclamation point question mark

So Dh and I haven't bd'ed in a week to the point of completion. We usually do twice a day every day. I think this a conspiracy to not knock me up this cycle! I know I shouldn't complain but I've been thinking about it. We've been WTC for a year (my idea, he supported it. I still wanted a baby but thought we should wait.) We got married and he decided he wanted to start trying. I agreed, thinking maybe the timing was better. He was away for 5 months, so we couldn't even try. We just decided at the beginning of march to ttc. Really?!! I've been wanting our next child for a year and at least 5 months, I've waited patiently, now we're trying and TOGETHER ENOUGH to try, and this dude won't even take a chance? Granted, he has no idea I should o this week, but still...I smell sabotage afoot! He might leave in May to go back on the boat. If he does, and I'm not pg, we'll have to wait until November to fully commit to trying again. We get to see each other maybe one week three times from May until November. This isn't looking good -.-

FishermansWife4 March 22nd, 2012 06:09 AM

Re: The journey of creating life
Still no completion and I think I o'ed last night around 9pm. I'm pretty sure I'm out this cycle. Can't conceive a baby without completing, right? I ended up telling Dh I was ovulating. Big mistake. I think I put a lot of pressure on him by telling him so I feel really bad about it. I'll make sure not to in the future. Tim says he wants another baby or two but He keeps telling me that it's in God's hands and I agree but I also know you need to bd to have a baby. D'uh. Oh well. Whatever will be will be.. It's only our first cycle officially ttc again. We've still got time. He keeps telling me we have time too but my whole thing is, My son turns 2 in June. By the time I have our next baby, he'll be starting potty training or will be potty trained. I change 98% of the diapers. He changes maybe 2 diapers a month, no lie and he fully admits that. Once Timmy is out of diapers, I'm not going to want to back track. We only have until June to conceive then I want to be tied. He doesn't seem to think I'm serious or something. Sigh. I don't know. God, whatever you feel is right for my family, I'll try my hardest not to complain and just accept your plan.

swtneka March 22nd, 2012 03:36 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
Hi I'm Sonica just wanted to stop by n say hello n u r truly right its in Gods hand. Gl hope u make a baby by time he leaves in May

FishermansWife4 March 22nd, 2012 05:36 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
Thank you so much, Sonica! I'm Amber. How are you doing? I read your journal. I'm hoping you get your bfp soon!

FishermansWife4 March 22nd, 2012 05:46 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
Everything is in His time though. I was just proven that...ttc, very little bd'ing,, I'm getting bummed out and wham! Today I find out I have poison ivy DOWN THERE! For the record, yes, it is as horrible as it sounds. But if I had been pregnant, in the first trimester, when EVERYTHING grows, I could have seriously harmed my baby potentially. Thank you, dear Lord! I get your message! Forgive me if I want this too bad and still check cm after I'm healed though.....I can swear though that I'll try really hard to put it in your hands.

FishermansWife4 March 25th, 2012 02:00 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
Hi body! Today, I go to check my cm like I have been doing and what do I find? Brownish ewcm.. Yeah, my body hates me. I'm convinced and I'm crampy. This is my first month after seasonique so I think it's just my body going through hormonal changes and regulating. I think I o'ed on cd 11. That makes me 4dpo. I don't know. This is so confusing. Blood? No blood? Ewcm? Cloudy cm? High cervix? Low cervix? We need a darn pop up on our wrists that just says if you're pregnant/ovulating, tww'ing or af'ing. Jeeze!! I'll kup.

FishermansWife4 April 2nd, 2012 09:19 AM

Re: The journey of creating life
I ordered opks ic hpts. They should be here tomorrow. I keep charting my cm and cp :/ my body is crazy!

FishermansWife4 April 11th, 2012 11:38 AM

Re: The journey of creating life
I tested today at 1:35pm. I got a faint line on my opk. I bd'ed this morning. I haven't checked cp or cm. :-/
I'm putting it in God's hands. <3

FishermansWife4 April 13th, 2012 11:37 AM

Re: The journey of creating life
I think I am having an innovatory cycle. No positive opk just faint lines. I o'ed on cd11 last month I think. I had no o pain yet. I've got to put it again in God's hands. If he thinks we should have another baby, it will happen.


I want another child very badly.

FishermansWife4 April 16th, 2012 03:48 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
So I got a + opk last night around 9. I literally ran downstairs to my dh with the stick. Bless his heart, he thought I was telling him I got my bfp. Once I explained it though, he smiled and asked if I thought we might get pregnant. I sure pray to God we do. I tested today (opk) and it was a very faint line. I've been bleeding since yesterday. My lovely jm ladies said I may be having ovulation bleeding. If so, I've been bd'ing so maybe we caught the egg.
In your devine mercy, oh Lord, please bless us with our miracle.....

FishermansWife4 April 17th, 2012 12:54 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
Cd 3...there is no denying this is af. It hurts. It feels like everyone either got their bfp or is already pg. I know I have 4 amazing children, even if I only get to see three of them because my dss's mom won't let him come visit, however, I want my last child already >.< I've waited for almost 2 years.. Actually, my dh told me before my ds was conceived that he wanted 2 more. I agreed. So.....le sigh. I just want to know my bean isn't always going to be in my prayers. My bean will be real. I just want to know I'm not crazy. I also want to cry, for the record :(

God, although I want to cry, I trust in your plan.

LilBeesMum April 19th, 2012 02:43 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
I hope you get your bean soon =)

BestMom April 19th, 2012 09:42 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
Stay strong just know that you are the best and God will help you :)

FishermansWife4 April 23rd, 2012 05:40 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
Thank you ladies! <3

FishermansWife4 April 25th, 2012 12:31 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
Okay, for this post, I switched to the laptop. Lol.

April 3rd - AF showed
April 8th - CD 6 AF's last day
April 11th- FF says O day
April 15th- Spotting Turned AF - CD1 Positive opk?!!!
April 19th - Last day AF
April 20th - CD 6 - positive opk?!
April 21st - HSO cervix Increased sex drive (continues even today.)
April 24th - CD 10 Possibly 4dpo - Lots of cm

So...my diagnonsense of my body is that.....
So, I'm just recording information, sitting on back, and letting God do His job. I know He will bless me. He always does. <3
Until Next Time I record info,
Faith, Love & Trust <3

FishermansWife4 May 1st, 2012 02:16 PM

Re: The journey of creating life
A Lot of good is happening to me right now though, by the grace of God. I'd like to take the time to thank Him for it. I'm very at peace with everything right now and I hope I continue to do so. Thank you, God for my many many blessings.

So, I tested early today. BFN was my results. I have one digi, one answer test and 2 pg wondfo tests left. I'm trying not to test until the 10th of May. I should DEFINITELY see AF by then.

Up side?
If my LP is 14 days and my mp is a total of 22 days, that means I o'ed the weekend of the 20th of April. My DH and I were bd'ing like crazy that weekend. Maybe the Lord saw fit to bless us with our miracle then.
If not, onto cycle #4 but I'm not to stressed about concieving anymore. I'm very at peace. I wish you all could be as at peace with ttc as I am right now.

Faith, Love & Trust

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