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*Jennifer* December 22nd, 2008 11:56 PM


I don't recall ever writing in a journal before. I'm thinking instead of eating when getting anxious over TTC, I will write. Maybe I'll be able to get rid of those pesky 10 pounds that have crept up on me. All in all, it has been a good day. AF just left so now I can wait to O. I'm going to start testing the 29th even though I know that is too early. I'm just afraid of missing it. I do have 13 OPK tests here waiting to be used, so why not use them.

This is going to sound weird, but the guy who drew my blood today kicks booty. I didn't feel a thing. In fact, I never feel a thing when he does it. Dh says it's b/c he knows what he's doing. And here I thought it was b/c I had cooperative veins.

Anyhow, it's getting late and I still need to get ready for bed...change, wash face, brush teeth.

It'll be a new entry tomorrow.

*Jennifer* December 24th, 2008 12:58 PM


I didn't get a chance to write yesterday. Way too busy. I can't believe I keep getting choked up of getting 2 BFPs that didn't stick. I think it's because I had planned to tell everyone on Christmas Day. I'm sure it also has to do with the fact that I'm still about 2 weeks away from Oing, so I really don't have that "maybe this cycle" hope yet. My cycles are so darn long. At least, they're regular though. I am thankful for that. Plus DH is now completely on board with TTC. It took him a while to get to this point. It's nice knowing that no matter how tired he is, we will bd when I show him my digi OPK with the happy face on it.

Well, enough about TTC. I need to get my mind off of it. I can't believe it's the day before Christmas and I need to go to Toys R Us to buy 2 last minute gifts. Very bad of me. At least all the other gifts are bought and wrapped. I would've gone this morning, but we were getting our new furnace installed. Thank Goodness! It's been so cold in the house. My poor parrots must have been freezing and the portable heater just wasn't cutting it other than in the bedroom.

Well, I guess I should get my butt to Toys R Us. At least there will be good deals.

*Jennifer* December 29th, 2008 12:56 AM


I started ovulation testing today. I don't know why. I'm not due to ovulate for at least another week. I'm just afraid that I will ovulate sooner than normal (well, what is normal for me) and miss it.

*Jennifer* December 30th, 2008 07:14 PM


Today sucks, plain and simple. I hate waiting to ovulate. It's like everything is at a standstill. It's not like the 2 week wait where I can have hope of being pregnant. I haven't left the house today. I don't want to see anyone. Oh and on top of everything, I am breaking out. I'm 32 years old and still getting pimples. The one thing that keeps my complexion clear, Retin-A, I can't use. I stopped using it when I went off birth control. So what do I have now? Is it a baby? Of course not...I have pimples. Ugh.

What am I even getting so worked up over. I'll ovulate, dh and I will bd, I'll get another BFP, and then another chem preg. I just want to cry.

Oh yeah..forgot to add that when I decided to research something b/c of a post in the ttc forum, one of the places I went had a big sign saying "You've been hacked." I hope it's just a joke some idiot is playing to get people like me freaked out.

Can't today just be over with already? If it were later, I'd just curl up in bed, cry, and drift off to sleep.

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