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-   -   Sapph's TTC Journal (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f352-ttc-journals/2484290-sapphs-ttc-journal.html)

Sapphera February 2nd, 2012 04:09 PM

Sapph's TTC Journal
Ok, thought I'd give a stab at the journals here ;) I tried one in TTC w/PCOS, but ended up having to take a break from JM due to over-obsessiveness. *G* I think I've got that completely under control as I've been back for a few months now and haven't gone as crazy as I had before. It probably helps that I'm working again, so I actually have something to do with my time other than obsess. ANd now that I've mostly been hanging out with you ladies, I thought I would put my journal here.

ANyways... The intro bit (for those that may not know).

I am Michelle and 33 years old. DH is David and he'll be turning 33 next week (Feb 10). We met online and hit it off almost right away (I was a bit more tentative at first than he was!). He proposed exactly a year after we started dating and got married 7 months later.

I went off BCPs in December of 2010, knowing that TTC will be hard for us. I was diagnosed with PCOS back in 2002 when the stats of getting pregnant with PCOS were looking horrendous and all my dreams of being a mom were dashed. Thank goodness for the internet! I've learned so much more about PCOS now (even in 2002 when I was looking things up everything for fertility was totally dire!). So my journey began.

It's definitely had it's ups and downs. Long cycles that were annovulatory, AF that once lasted 5 weeks and HEAVY the entire time (my GP lectured me about not making an appt when I told her about it at my yearly exam in October). Even my regular cycles are long. I'm currently on cycle #8 and it's been a year and 2 months.

Right now we are in a stasis.. we are still TTC, but I also have been referred to the fertility clinic and am waiting to get the call. Hopefully by the time they call, I won't need them (wishful thinking).

So that's the intro me and TTC :)

kbpeanut February 2nd, 2012 04:17 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
YAY for starting a journal (here!)!!

Sapphera February 2nd, 2012 04:19 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
Thanks Karin :D Now to make sure I keep it updated.. (gonna try every day...even if it's something small.. LOL).

Belita February 2nd, 2012 04:21 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
Yay for a new journal! Until I joined here I thought PCOS meant you had to have IVF in order to get pregnant because so many of those shows about women with higher-order multiples have PCOS. I'm glad for you all who have it that it's not the case! I hope you don't need the RE either, but glad you're on the list!

kbpeanut February 2nd, 2012 04:39 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal

Originally Posted by Sapphera (Post 25563066)
Thanks Karin :D Now to make sure I keep it updated.. (gonna try every day...even if it's something small.. LOL).

Well certainly don't look to me for inspiration! I always forget to update mine ;)

Sapphera February 2nd, 2012 04:45 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
Hehehe, that's why I have to get it in as routine right away. During the week it probably won't be hard since I'm always looking for ways to slack off (cough cough), but it'll be the weekends that are rougher probably :)

Robyn - Yeah, now it's just a "may take longer" and "may need help". None of the old "10% chance of conceiving and 5% chance of carrying to term" which I was told with my initial diagnosis!!

HopeTea February 2nd, 2012 05:04 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
Glad to see you started a journal! :D

[email protected] February 3rd, 2012 11:11 AM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
looking forward to reading your journal!

Sapphera February 3rd, 2012 12:48 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
Thanks Jen :D I've been stalking yours too, though don't have much to comment on :D

So.. starting this whole thing :)

CD 25, 3 DPO ~ Cycle #8

Definitely too early to tell anything .. but I'm trying to remember every little twinge, muscle movement, etc...so that when it happens a week from now I don't automatically assume it's a "sign". I'm so completely determined not to have my hopes up too high so I don't have the big downward crash I had after cycle 6 ended (I had myself completely convinced).

But being in the TWW sucks.. I was hoping to have some drinks and stuff tonight and get some gaming in... I'll still game some, but no drinks (boo). I know it wouldn't affect anything at this stage, but it's not necessary anyways. Though starting tomorrow I'm having a glass of red wine with my evening meals since it's said it can help implantation.

Belita February 3rd, 2012 03:33 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal

Mom2JDub February 3rd, 2012 03:40 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
Ah, Michelle started a journal too! So much stalking, so little time. :P

Hope you find the journaling therapeutic and that you get your BFP soon!

Sapphera February 3rd, 2012 03:42 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
I just figured since I love journal stalking everyone else.. I should probably make my own ;)

Plus, that way I can try to keep a hold on my sanity.. LOL.

Sapphera February 6th, 2012 09:21 AM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
CD 28, 6 DPO .. Cycle #8

I really wish I could be as strong as the women who don't temp during the 2WW. Seriously. I was sad when my temp dropped on 3DPO, wondering if maybe I didn't O after all and it was a weird 2 day fluke.. then 4 DPO it was low... but then happier on 5 and 6 when it was back up. I know it doesn't really mean anything, but you know what happens to a TTCer!! Make up reasons for EVERYTHING..haha.

Had a good weekend though.. hopefully I'll be able to order everything to get our furnace replaced so that we can finally be warm again at home. Last night was our first good sleep in a long time too.. but poor DH .. I have ZERO libido right now with all the stress at work, the furnace, and my dog classes. I've been trying really hard..but sigh.

Still no symptoms. I was sick yesterday, but I think it was from something I ate (either the leftover omelette from the day before..or the vegetarian chinese food since I have never eaten that before).. so (WAY TMI) I had a nasty case of running to the bathroom every 10 minutes during the last hour of my dog training class (ugh, so embarrassing when there's only 4 students, so it's totally obvious). Then on my way home (the bathrooming started at 4, I left at 5), I was completely nauseaus and was trying not to throw up... but when I made it to my inlaws at 5:45, though I wasn't feeling well and my tummy was feeling "iffy", I still managed to eat some fried chicken, fries, and a corn fritter! Felt better after that though, at least.

Also major hormonal UGGHH at dog training class. We were doing clicker training (so not allowed to say anything, but click when your "dog" (another student) does what you want them to do .. and they do not know what you're trying to make them do). I had to make my "dog" do a moonwalk. I got them to the point where they were walking backwards, but was at a loss as to how to make them drag their feet. So after trying it several times, having the other students help brainstorm ideas.. and in one of these brainstorm sessions I just lost it. I had to walk away in total tears.

Our instructer got the other girls out and came and talked to me since I was obviously bawling my eyes out.. and the entire time i was "I don't know why I'm crying, this is so STUPID", but I couldn't stop. I was frustrated, I felt like I looked stupid..but that's nothing to CRY over. It's a class. With other people. I wanted to curl up in the ground and die...I was so embarrassed, which of course made me cry more. SO LAME.

So one of the other girls took over the clicker and we still couldn't get our "dog" to moonwalk, but I cannot believe what I did. And these are people I'm hoping to get a job with when I finish my class -- now I doubt that will happen.

UGH.. Silly hormones. Being a woman sucks sometimes.

[email protected] February 6th, 2012 11:35 AM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
hugs for the crazy hormonal moment, i get those at times too, usually around O time!

I hope you manage to furnace fixed soon, I hate being cold! it snowed here for the first time in a while on sunday so im feeling grumpy about the weather being yucky!

Belita February 6th, 2012 01:16 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
I'm sorry for your breakdown and furnace issues. I hope you get to warm up soon!

I know what you mean about temping. I don't think I could take a break from temping while TTC. It was hard to miss just one day when DH and I had our wedding night! My thermometer is coming with me to Florida in two weeks!

Sapphera February 6th, 2012 01:54 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
Thanks Jen - glad to know I'm not the only one. I was just so embarrassed even at the time but there was nothing I could do even though I knew it was lame.. LOL.

Robyn - I took mine with me to hawaii too.. LOL. I wasn't that great at temping there though..temped every 2-3 days .. it was hard to remember to when I was so out of my routine. But that's been the only time since I started temping! (Well, I'll still miss a day here or there on the weekend, but definitely not as relaxed as I could be).

HopeTea February 6th, 2012 05:38 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
What kind of gaming are you into?

Sapphera February 6th, 2012 06:21 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
Any sort of RPG .. Currently addicted to WoW, Sims3 and Skyrim... LOL!!

Oh, and beating the pants off my hubby at Forsa.

blueeyes25s February 6th, 2012 07:58 PM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
I'm glad you started a journal! I have been enjoying it since I have started.

Sapphera February 7th, 2012 08:20 AM

Re: Sapph's TTC Journal
In addition to yesterday's post.. things went all screwy last night. I ate a pretty hearty dinner, then went to band practice.. within the 3 hours, I went pee about 5 times (not lying) and was so hungry my stomach was hurting (never had that before).

Still trying not to read anything into it though. :rolleyes:

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