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plan4fate June 4th, 2012 08:08 PM

Ashley's (Plan4Fate) TTC #1 Journal
I was going to wait longer... but we haven't used any birth control since December, so we're approaching 6m.

A bit about me.

I'm currently 28 years old. I met my DH in August of 2009 but didn't actually speak to him directly until March of 2010. We didn't speak as friends until September 2010, and it went from there. We were married almost exactly a year later on Sept 22nd 2011.

Prior to meeting DH I had 8 miscarriages.

Two chemcial pregnancies with my JR sweetheart when I was in college (both in 2003, beginning and end of the year). I had been on the pill, but obviously it did not work.

I then had a 9w loss in 2005 with a different boyfriend, as a result of a condom mishap. This loss is what I will refer to as my first miscarriage. My pregnancy was not developing well, and after testing chose to terminate for medical reasons. I found out later that my boys had Trisomy 8 complete. Incomparable with life, and would have died regardless prior to 19 weeks. The father has a different form of the Tirsomy, but it is not supposed to be hereditary, but we don't really buy that since he lost a little girl in April 2008 to the complete version like his boys (different mom).

In 2007 I switched to the nuva ring in October. I had a chemical in Dec, Jan, Feb and then in April 2008 I lost a little girl at 8w. She was genetically perfect, but the nuva ring had thinned my lining so badly that it was nothing short of a miracle that she made it 8w, especially since I'd had normal af like bleeding at 4w and assumed I'd had another chemical.

Then in December 2009 during a brief fling with an ex (not any of the ones listed above lol) I found out I was pregnant in January. Unfortunately I found out because I'd fallen and was bleeding profusely, and decided to take an hpt. They discovered a tiny fetus in my cervix when I went to the doctor, but another with a heartbeat , still in my uterus. Unfortunately that night I passed that baby as well. I found out that they were identical girls measuring at 8w1d and 6w2d.

After that last miscarriage my AF changed. It became heavier, and more painful. I was placed on BCP in fall of 2010 and I remained on it until our wedding in 2011. I was unable to obtain the same brand in the US as I suffer from Migraine with Aura and no one would prescribe me something that I knew 1- worked and 2- would not cause me to have more migraines. We switched to FAM and spermicide... In November both DH and I began to have regular reactions to the spermicide and chose to switch to PnP. DH tired of that after about 1 week. lol.

And now here we are. Our first two cycles were PnP (not very regularly, DH pulled out if he wanted, which wasn't often), and we started ttc more than a year ahead of our original date of August 2013.

We are currently in our 4th official cycle. Last cycle we added pre-seed to the mix since DH has a skin condition and my natural lubrication isn't enough to not hurt him. This cycle I'm adding Levothyroxine for my thyroid condition, B6, and am waiting on a shipment of fertilitea to come from amazon (still need to research if I have to stop the B6).

DH suffers from heavy metal toxicity. This is mostly likely impacting his sperm quality. Unfortunately every doctor I've called has said they require ttc for 1 year before they'll see him. Since DH and I will be separated for a while this fall we are going to just keep ttc until we've hit the official 1 year before we push for extra help. He has had a successful pregnancy in the past, but it was before he got very sick.

However, since I have a low end of normal LP and he probably has slow swimmers, when I find a GP this fall I will mention to them this fact and see if there is anything medically they can do to help me lengthen my LP if the fertilitea and/or B6 do not help.

And that's me in a nutshell.

blueeyes25s June 5th, 2012 05:07 AM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
Welcome to journaling! I'm just curious...how did you know the sex of the baby so early?

kbpeanut June 5th, 2012 09:31 AM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
Welcome to journaling! Looking forward to following your journey!

[email protected] June 5th, 2012 01:08 PM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
Hi ashley, its great to see youve started a journal..i hope it helps for those moments where a good vent is needed and that it ends up being short and sweet!

plan4fate June 5th, 2012 04:05 PM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal

Originally Posted by blueeyes25s (Post 26124677)
Welcome to journaling! I'm just curious...how did you know the sex of the baby so early?

Genetic testing was done each time since there is a defect on each side of my family (I don't have either gene, I found out in 2010). That included the gender... I was dead on with my guess with the girls, but I thought the boys were one of each.

plan4fate June 6th, 2012 06:22 PM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
My Amazon shipment showed up today :)

50 cheapies
50 opk's
and my fertilitea!!!

I'm very excited for this fertilitea. I was worried about the taste, but apparently it tastes like peppermint (smells like it too) so that's exciting since that's my favorite tea is peppermint. I'm hoping together with my B6 it will at least get me an extra day or two on my LP.. but I'd like it even better if it gets me pregnant!

We got word today that DH will be getting laid off on June 17th. While for some a layoff is a bad thing, in his line of work it's greatly anticipated. He's been working 70+hour weeks for the last 19 weeks, and has only had 2.5 days off. He's worked the equivalent of 34 weeks total! There are already several job offers for him, he's had to turn down a few (none of them are official, so it won't affect his unemployment) because due to his health he does need a little recovery time between jobs and we have to get my belongings from Canada in August!

I must have known he was coming home with this news today. I emptied the cupboards in our kitchen, getting rid of things we won't eat, or were half eaten and stale. Organized our tea and coffee collection, cleared out the spice cabinet... it looks so empty in the kitchen now! Packing up the kitchen is going to be so easy in two weeks! The rest of the house... not so easy, but thankfully it's not all that much stuff. It's just going to be a nightmare to pack.. this apartment has a lil bit of a bug problem... so I'm terrified to touch anything I haven't moved on a daily basis!

Guess I'm going to go make myself a cup of my tea :)

blueeyes25s June 6th, 2012 08:43 PM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal

Originally Posted by plan4fate (Post 26127681)
Genetic testing was done each time since there is a defect on each side of my family (I don't have either gene, I found out in 2010). That included the gender... I was dead on with my guess with the girls, but I thought the boys were one of each.

Oh...ok. I had no idea they could do that. There is still so much I have no clue about. :hug:

Good luck with everything! Are you taking vit B12 with the B6? I have heard that you should take those two together.

plan4fate June 7th, 2012 12:21 AM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
Some say take B12 (as a complex B vitamin), but other say it's just the B6 needed. When I spoke with the pharmacist he told me just to take the B6 and to be careful not to take too much. lol. My Prenatal has 100% of the RDA of B12 in it at least.

As long as there are embryonic cells, they can be tested. The boys had Trisomy 8 complete (which is a death sentence from what I was told), but the girls were all normal...RPL runs in my family, so getting the genetic panel done wasn't as hard as it could have been. Thankfuly my lining has recovered from the abuse the Nuva Ring put it through... now I just have the more recent short LP to contend with. At least my cycles are back to 28 days.. they were 24/25 after I went off the pill!

plan4fate June 9th, 2012 09:10 PM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
I'm really bad about taking the B12 and drinking the fertilitea. Ugh. If we don't get it this cycle, I'll have to be better about it next one.

DH got the official word, Lay off Thursday, so we are leaving for Wi on Monday, with a night in So.Il and a stop in Springfield for "Horseshoes" (food), it's out of our way, but we really want to eat at this place!

plan4fate June 11th, 2012 09:46 PM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
my chart gave me a coverline yesterday. I've only manged to get in a few temps, and they're all over the place. I've had to exclude two already this month. I'm not sure it's going to pin point O well at all. And my Opk's are not helping one little bit, they seem to be going up and down in darkness at well.

Is it really too much to get a normal cycle?

kbpeanut June 12th, 2012 10:39 AM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
My temps are always like that...I've never seemingly had a normal temp pattern, but somehow, the trend always works out and FF was almost always able to tell when I Oed!

Hope the packing is going ok, despite your ouchy hand!

plan4fate June 12th, 2012 12:16 PM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
Thanks Karin.. so far today I've gotten... NOTHING done. Oops. In my defense, one of my BFF's graduated college and I got to watch it online, so that was way more important than anything else I could have done. Just waiting for Lunch to cook (beans and hotdogs.. yeah, I'm having a flash back to my kiddie years today), then I need to go over to the office and see about when we can move out. And in the process I'll get all the garbage taken out, all the laundry folded, some mail organized and the book containers stacked and ready to go.

I did get an much closer to positive opk today, so hopefully it will be positive tonight or tomorrow, and then I'll get the temp dip and spike in the next couple of days. Of course, DH is working 12hr days today and tomorrow.. so dtd will be the last thing on his mind, but the first thing on mine! Grrrrr. I cannot wait for this job to be over, and I'm so glad he's going to look at jobs with other companies before he goes back with this one. Yeah, he's been working with them on and off since he was 18.. but they have no respect for their workers (12hr days 7 days a week for months on end, with no decent health benefits, crappy per diem, and they'll cut every corner possible) and morale is horrible.

But we should be home in less than a week. Then there's so much to do before we head to Canada in August, including trying to persuade Reme's mom to let us take him with. We have two very good arguments to do it. 1: it will give DH more time with his boy and 2: it will give my family a chance to get to know Reme before there's a little baby for them to ooh and ah over. Though I don't think they'd treat him different... who really doesn't pay more attention to a little baby vs a 7/8 year old?

kbpeanut June 12th, 2012 01:20 PM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
...and the added benefit of exposing Reme to another country/culture = educational/learning experience? Would that help the argument?

plan4fate June 12th, 2012 11:36 PM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
Sadly I doubt it. When I hinted at it before she said that she's ready to let him go away for that long, maybe in 5 or 6 years... I wanted to write back "except DH is entitled to 1/2 of the time he's not working with Reme, and he wants to take him to Canada". Sadly, if she says no, we have no recourse. Even though international travel IS in the divorce agreement... we still need his birth certificate, we still need her to approve the pass port and we need her to write letters saying we can take him.

Sometimes, being a step parent SUCKS. Reme likes to curl up on me while I skype with home and ask me who I'm talking to, when their birthdays are and what relation they are to him. So far he's established that the little girls are his cousins, my brothers are uncles and that he has a lot of new aunts. He's a lil unsure on my mom and grandmother. And I suspect he'll call my grandfather pappy. We aren't telling him he has to call anyone anything even though my one brother has requested if possible to be "unkabee" (his name is Brandon and he is a doofus, and I love him for it). The little guy cried when we told him he coudln't go to Canada with us and wanted to know why not. :(

I mean, I accept that L's his mom. But at this point he does have a relationship with her new husband's family.. we only think it's fair that he get to know mine, no matter how far away they are. Really all she's doing is restricting Reme from spending time with his dad. And it's really important to DH (and me) that he get to know these people before we add a baby to the mix. And since we're TTC more than a year in advance of our original scheduled plan, we need to move the plan forward a bit. And after having been away from Reme for almost 5 full months, I think that alone should give him the extra time with him.

Stupid opk went lighter tonight. So I either missed my surge, or the move has me stressed enough I'm not going to O. This happened last time we moved home from a job... his family caused some trouble and I had a 40+ day long cycle. The stress was so bad I'm surprised I O'd at all. I hope I missed my surge and my temps will show an O in the next couple of days!!!!!

kbpeanut June 13th, 2012 10:29 AM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
That's really a shame. I'm sorry it's not looking like things will work out. :(

plan4fate June 21st, 2012 08:41 AM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
A wash of "everyone's getting pregnant but me" jealousy is sweeping in. :( I really dislike this feeling, but two of my wttc girls just got bfp's, two fb friends are pregnant, half a dozen are due... sometimes I hate being me.

I'm 7dpo... no feeling that this could be our cycle. I'm to the point now... I'm starting to get upset with each cycle.. though I won't admit it to DH. I've never had a problem getting pregnant before, just staying pregnant. now.. nothing. DH's ex had extreme pcos... so it's not a surprise they had troubles conceiving.... I just hate that we are having issues too. And it doesn't help that his Ex and new husband are seeing an RE right now to try and conceive.... so jealous.. I hate feeling like this.

this summer needs to fly by... we're getting insurance this fall... I'd love a full physical on both of us.

*crawls under a rock to hide*

kbpeanut June 21st, 2012 09:15 AM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
Sorry you are feeling down about this. I know, I've been there. For a long time I was there. It's not fun, and I'm not going to pretend it is. When I used to have those days, I would just do my darnedest to focus on those things I could do because I wasn't pregnant, like enjoy sipping a nice glass of wine, and the like. I know it's hard when everyone around you is PG (trust me, I had that ALL around me), but try and hang in there. You guys are going through some major transition right now, and once the dust settles, you'll get things back in your control...

hang in there

plan4fate June 22nd, 2012 05:43 PM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
Thanks Karin. Not much else to update, it's 8dpo only "symptoms" are peeing a lot, and some spotting last night/today. But I do think I have either a UTI or another kidney stone, as my bladder hurts... which could explain the peeing.

One of the girls in my group started bleeding today :( looks like she's losing her lil bean. That makes me sad. Makes me wish I could stop charting and testing so if I get pregnant and lose a bean I don't know.

kbpeanut June 22nd, 2012 06:04 PM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
Oh, that's so sad. One of the main reasons I never, ever tested. :( Prayers for her.

plan4fate June 24th, 2012 03:04 PM

Re: Ashley's TTC #1 Journal
10dpo, cycle 4... bfn... I just want the witch to show so I can go to the dr and get something for my bladder. Oh, and so I can go cry.

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