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remisue16 May 21st, 2013 12:29 PM

Remisue's Path to Conception!
Hi everyone! I decided to start a journal because I find that I always have a lot on my mind and get it out best in writing. I am hoping that this journal will be very short!

I am 26 and DH is 29, we are both about to get a year older in June. We got married June 14, 2008 which puts us at almost 5 years of marriage. I have wanted a baby since I was a teenager... in fact, for me, college was a backup plan of sorts. Now that we both have stable jobs and I am almost done with school we have decided that we are ready to make the leap from wanting kiddos to actually trying to have them. This is our fourth cycle which looks like it is coming to a close with a BFN. We are doing things naturally at the moment and I just started charting and using OPK's so I am hoping it will help us out next cycle.

My temps have steadily been going down for the past few days. I am pretty bummed about this as I just knew that this was going to be our cycle! Just like I knew it the past three times... :( I had a good cry about it this morning before work, prayed about it a bit, and I am feeling much better now! Ready for AF to go ahead and arrive so I can get on with this next cycle. I feel like I am wishing so much of my life away right now with the whole TTC thing. Just waiting.. to O, to test, for AF. Wiating, waiting, waiting...

One more piece of backstory may prove to be important later although I am ignoring it for now... I had a medical mystery having to do with my knee a while back and as a result they did a lot of genetics testing. I have the MTHFR mutation. I haven't looked at the results for a while so I don't remember which one I have. My doctor didn't seem to think it would cause any problems and told me not to worry about it unless I have a miscarriage. They won't do anything about it before then anyway. I haven't even told my OB yet. I will fish out the results when and if I have to but otherwise I am just trying to forget about it. Saying that--- I just can't forget about it! It is always lurking on the back of my mind that just because I get my BFP, there are no guarantees that I will have an easy time carrying to term. I know there aren't guarantees either way but it's just more statistics against me.

So that is what is going on so far! Thanks to everyone who reads this and I hope it can help others like journals have helped me!

momology May 21st, 2013 01:27 PM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
:welcome: to journaling!! Sorry AF is showing that is always a huge let down :hug: I look forward to following your journey!

[email protected] May 21st, 2013 02:49 PM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
Hi, congrats on starting a journal. They can be a great help with all things ttc!

I hope your stay here is a short one too! Although I look forward to following your journey here in the mean time

remisue16 May 22nd, 2013 07:29 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
CD 25 DPO ??

I woke up to find that my temperature has gone back up to 97.9!! Could those last temperatures be an implantation dip? I really don't know but I am so excited to be still in the game for the month!! I did take a test this morning and it was a BFN which wouldn't be surprising if I just implanted. I suppose I will try to hold off until Friday to take another one if my temps inspire me to do so. I have been checking my CM every day and it has been very creamy and today seemed like it was tinted yellowish on the TP. Hope there isn't anything wrong with that! I have really nothing to base any of this on since this is my first month temping and I didn't even start in the beginning of the month. If any of the more experienced ladies want to comment on it, that would be most welcome!

In news for the week, I have two assignments to finish for my last class ever! One is my final which I will probably finish at work over the next few days. It is a big group project and so my part isn't very big at all. I could probably knock it out in a day but I like to spread the work out so its not so much at one time. The other assignment is already 2/3 of the way done but the library closed last night before I could finish (yes I still use the library in person... probably because I am trying to become a librarian! lol) so I will have to go back tonight and finish. Otherwise I am just looking forward to the holiday weekend which is going to be spent at a lake house with my in-laws! Woohoo!

SmilingSam May 22nd, 2013 08:01 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
I'm excited to see that you started a journal. Are you really trying to become a librarian?

I swear that I have wanted babies since I knew what they were. The TTC process has been a little devastating for me in that aspect. I just knew that if I learned the chemistry and the science behind it that we would have no problem getting pregnant. Then bam...my body doesn't cooperate.

It is hard not to get your hopes up every cycle. Definitely keep up posted incase the no AF turns into a BFP. :heart: If she arrives then you'll really have a chance to practice your charting and learning your cycle.

remisue16 May 23rd, 2013 07:25 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
I am indeed trying to become a librarian! Research is kind of a specialty of mine but I also like admin type tasks so hopefully one day I can become a head librarian and do a bit of everything!

CD 26

So normally I would start my period tomorrow. Although last month I had a cycle of 29 days so it's really anyone's guess at this point. My temp was up this morning but I am not sure how accurate it was since I didn't have the soundest sleep at the end. Plus I tested again this morning and it was a BFN so don't get to excited and I am trying to do the same. I did still have very creamy CM today.

I'm just kind of angry with my body. Why does it have to do things that make me think I am pregnant every single month only to be let down?? It is so frustrating!! If it was at least the same weird things every month then I could just mentally rule them out as not a sign. But every single month it is something different!!

So far I don't have sore bbs at all. I was super hungry all day yesterday but when I went to sit down to a nice large dinner, I only got through a small amount before my tummy was upset and I wasn't able to eat anymore. I wasn't nauseated or anything, just all rumbly and sharp kinda digestion pains and couldn't eat anymore. I really feel like it is just my body messing with me though and making me get all excited just to let me down later.

Am I crazy?!?!?!

momology May 23rd, 2013 07:42 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
:hug: you aren't crazy I think we all go through this. It is very unfortunate that many symptoms that AF is showing and pregnancy are so similar! It doesn't help that our bodies change and do something completely new and different so often. I think a big part of it is as soon as we begin TTC we notice every little twinge and but of nausea. We pay such close attention now. . .

:hug: sorry you are feeling frustrated. Hopefully you will get your BFP soon.

Nicholle ttc May 23rd, 2013 09:45 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
:welcome: to journaling! I hope that you get your BFP very soon! :dust:

remisue16 May 24th, 2013 11:55 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
Thanks, Elle! It's nice to know that I am not alone and that we all go through this to varying degrees.

Well, today is CD 27. I generally only have 26 day cycles but it has gone to 29 in the recent past so I wouldn't call myself late yet. Despite my best intentions, I have been testing everyday and still have a BFN. I have had some mild cramping today but still have very creamy CM (there is a lot when I wipe). It's really a crap shoot right now.

I'm not really worked up about my situation... either I'm pregnant or I'm not. This may not always be my feelings on CD 27 but with a fun weekend coming up it is very easy to just not worry about it! I am taking tests with me out of town and will probably continue to test every morning until the witch shows herself. If that happens, I will definitely let y'all know but otherwise I may not get online much.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Nicholle ttc May 28th, 2013 07:19 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
Sorry that AF arrived. :( Hopefully this is your cycle! :cheer:

remisue16 May 28th, 2013 08:10 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
CD 3

Well the witch showed herself on vacation. The positive side is that she wasn't nearly as bad as usual so it made the weekend a lot more enjoyable than it could have been! I am glad that I am temping (except for those few days since hubby wanted to sleep in without interruption) because with as light as my flow was I would probably still be questioning if I am pregnant and getting my hopes up. However, my temp has dropped to the lowest it has been so I know that I am not. With this temp drop, I can also reasonably assume that I am indeed ovulating which is always good news! :)

FF predicts (based on the limited info it has from last month) that I will ovulate on CD 14 which is June 8th. We are celebrating hubby's birthday that day so maybe some birthday lovin will turn into a little surprise! ;)

momology May 28th, 2013 08:16 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
Sorry Af showed :hug: Fx that this is your cycle!

remisue16 May 30th, 2013 09:00 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
CD 5

Not much going on with TTC. My temp is down which seems normal. I have started using the OPK's just because I have a ton and don't want to miss anything this first month. So far just a very faint line which is also normal. We have been DTD but mostly just for fun as it isn't really the time.

In other areas of my life, things are going well! My performance review was really good with two advancements planned for me in the next 2-3 years. I also have been assigned some special projects which are more within the realm of things I am interested in and will go great on my resume! I am happier at this job than I have ever been at a job and that is after 10 months when the blinders are usually already off. I think I will be staying here a nice long time. I have been trying out new recipes with great success and have learned that I really enjoy cooking when it doesn't have to compete with school for time. So yea, just bouncing along and trying to not focus on TTC too much.

Nicholle ttc May 30th, 2013 09:04 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
It's always nice to focus on other things while ttcing. Yay about the job advancement!

momology May 30th, 2013 09:31 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
That is so great that you are enjoying your job!! It really is nice to have something to draw focus while TTC - it is so easy to let TTC consume everything in life.

remisue16 June 3rd, 2013 10:05 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
CD 9

Well we are inching closer to ovulation. I really love this time of the month. So full of hopefulness that this could be "THE MONTH." Combine that with lots of BDing and it really makes for a great week or so. No checking for symptoms or having imaginary symptoms. No testing only to be let down. None of the negative and only the positive.

I have been faithfully using my OPK's and have a line but it is still pretty light. I think starting tomorrow I will be using them twice a day just so I don't miss the surge. I have a ton so I am not really worried about how many I use.

As it is getting close to O time, I am really trying to drink all the water I am supposed to. I am not very good at this but I am trying to make it a habit and what better time to start? Hopefully it will bring on more CM. I do wish I didn't have to run to the potty so much though.

The weekend was good for us. Got a lot of housecleaning done. Tried out some new recipes which I loved. Also spent time just relaxing and being together. A wonderful weekend at home!

Please keep your fingers crossed for me this next week!

Nicholle ttc June 3rd, 2013 10:31 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
Everything is crossed for you! :dust:

momology June 3rd, 2013 10:37 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
Definitely keeping my Fx for you!!! So glad you had a good week :)


remisue16 June 4th, 2013 12:12 PM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
CD 10

I love, love, love, love charting!! Do not repeat this back to me if my opinion changes. :p My CM has changed from creamy to watery and I got my first confirmed fertile day on FF. So happy! I must have the weirdest DH in the world, but in a good way. I start telling him all about it and he immediately said (TMI maybe), "Sounds like you need someone to take care of that, wanna use me?" Love that crazy man!

remisue16 June 6th, 2013 08:59 AM

Re: Remisue's Path to Conception!
CD 12

Was planning on BD on CD 10 but in the process we bumped our heads together (more like whacked) and that completely killed the mood. I think we both had lumps and we definitely had headaches that night and the whole next day! So much for that day! haha.

Well yesterday my CM was back to creamy and still no positive on an OPK which I was happy about due to the adventures of the night before. We did however get to BD last night. I am back to having watery CM but haven't gotten to do an OPK yet for the day. Should be O'ing anytime in the next few days. I don't know that for sure but I just feel like it, ya know?

Nothing much going on besides that!

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