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-   -   Mother of two pregnant again by someone new (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f86-twentysomething-mommies/2599347-mother-two-pregnant-again-someone-new.html)

Hunnyb2fly November 27th, 2012 03:13 AM

Mother of two pregnant again by someone new
I have two children(8 yr old daughter and 4 yr old son) I am no longer with their father as of this past April. It hurt my kids for us to split but we've honestly never worked and just stayed together for the kids. He has moved on n now is with a girl that has her own three kids. I was hurt at first that he in my eye replaced us,( I did fight for as long as I could take for my family to stay together) but in the end it's probably for the best we aren't together. I live him but really only because of the kids and vice versa. After awhile i moved on as well. I had been good friends with a guy since march and in July we decided to start a relationship. Things moved fast! Too fast, after a month I was pregnant, we talked long n thought hard and decided to have an abortion, it was not an easy decision and I do regret it every day. After that we became closer n closer, he moved in and we even talked about the future n actually having kids. We started to get serious and stopped being so safe during sex. Things are going great until the beginning of nov something happened and he decided to take a step back, he moved out n we tried to just be friends, we love each other so much that we can never be just friends, we still talk everyday, are together intimately and only with each other, we pretty much are together, just need to fix things on our own lives before we completely involve someone else in it.
Mid Nov comes around n my period doesn't come, right away he thinks I'm pregnant, I was just not ready to admit that, nov. 21 I decide it's time to take a test, its positive, I'm pregnant.
We talk, he's scared n not sure he's ready for this, his choice would be to not have it, but he says it's my choice and supports whatever I decide and will be there no matter what. I don't want him to hate me, I don't want my kids to hate me, I don't want him to feel like this baby or even I ruined his life, he wants to b there but doesn't want it to feel like a baby is the reason why we are together.
The help I'm looking for is just someone to reassure me that keeping it is right, it's ok to have two baby daddies, how should I tell him I decided to keep it, when he asks why what do I say, m how will I tell my kids father?
My estimated due date is July 24th 2013 which I take as a sign(my grandma passed away good Friday of this year and July 24th is her bday) also July 25th will be one year since he and I got together. Please help and I'm already an emotional mess n just very depressed and going through lots of hard times n situations so please no negativity about my previous abortion, I deal with that pain every day I don't need anyone shoving the knife in even more.
Truth is I'm excited about this baby, how do I get him to feel that way, I know eventually he will but how do I assure him everything's gonna be fine?

MindyRambo November 27th, 2012 05:28 AM

Re: Mother of two pregnant again by someone new
I don't think you need to assure him of anything. He's a grown man who has now conceived 2 children with you. If he really didn't want kids, he should have been more careful. If conceiving the first baby didn't make him (both of you really) be more careful, then step up and prepare for baby number 3.

I also don't think you owe an explanation to your kids dad. He has moved on and so have you.

Best of luck to you both

LJD3Tdance December 7th, 2012 12:20 AM

Re: Mother of two pregnant again by someone new
I hope you are feeling a little bit better about all of this and that he's adjusting better, because he needs to grow up if he isn't.

Ash22 December 13th, 2012 07:16 AM

Re: Mother of two pregnant again by someone new
Honestly. men just suck sometimes. They act all grown up and then turn around and behave childishly.

Real men will stand up for you. Love you no matter what. He should be proud to have a child with you hun.

Sometimes these things work out for the best.There is a reason for everything that happens in our lives.

I have some bad experience with this. My son's biological dad said he would be there when we found out we were pregnant but he chose his lifestyle over the baby. He decided after 3 months he wanted me to abort because he was gunna break it off but I told him where to go. I was keeping my baby. He made a poor attempt to be a dad. Needless to say through the whole pregnancy it was astruggle trying to maintain an already failing relationship.

Long story short. I left his dumb *** after he got arrested and moved on.

I have a wonderful bf of 2 years. He accepts my son as his own. As far as having to baby daddies... we havent had kids yet. But we want to. We are just waiting for my sons developmental assessment. He is delayed and requires a lot of attention and work. But hey.. things will work themselves out.

Just look into your heart. You will know what the right choice for YOU is.

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