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-   -   Not really sure how I feel (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f100-unplanned-pregnancy/145259-not-really-sure-how-i-feel.html)

Queenie06 February 2nd, 2006 07:58 PM

Hello all - I just found out I was pregnant last monday and I am about 5 1/2 weeks as of last monday. I have had 2 abortions before (i was in a bad relationship and couldn't bring someone else into it). But now I am with my soon to be husband and frankly i don't want to put myself threw that again. I'm 24 I work full time and part time as well as go to school. I know that we are in 2006 and at least working and school will still be possible. I have really positive people around me including my bf, my family and his. I'm just soooooooooo scared. It really dawned on me that this is a real person that I will be responsible for. ANd I'm so afraid of how much life is going to change. I'm afraid how it will effect me and my bf (although he is happy!). I mean it won't be use anymore. I mean we both work but i mean money is tight (this was not planned) I always thought I would get married and then have kids. I just want to be able to provide. I'm scared and unsure of myself - but I know I will not but my child up for adoption and I can't go threw another abortion. Has anyone else felt uncertainty like this. Is this normal. I don't know if I'm coming or going...some days i'm excited other days i'm just to nervous to enjoy it. Everyone tells me everything will fall into place and work its way out - but i was just curious if other people have had these type feelings. Any advice or words of wisdom is helpful...Thanks Brin

happymommyof1 February 2nd, 2006 08:13 PM

hey there, dont worry everything you are feeling is totally normal... when i got PG with my son, i was only with his father for 2 months. i was about to get evicted from my apartment, i had a crummy job wit no benefits... i was in a bad spot, but i kept the pregnancy and i kept my son, now...

im married, to the father
i did get evicted, but we got into an awesome apartment and stayed there a year, we are living with parents right now to save for a house (real hard to do when your paying 900 a month in rent!)
i am a stay at home mommy so now i have the best/hardest job in the world

bet you didnt see that happening!!! we are on WIC. get on this, it helps so much.. i was on medicaid for my pregnancy it was wonderful, everything was covered.. and we are happy. yea we had to make adjustments, went two months where we only ate ramen noodles... but our son has never gone without... and things just worked out for us...

its totally normal to have these fears, but with support, a father who is there and love.... anything is possible...

momma06 February 2nd, 2006 09:38 PM

Girl, I know what you're going through. I'm 17, I don't work, and I'm a full-time student do you think I have money? NO! My fiance refused to put the baby up for adoption and no way in hell was I going to get an abortion! Now I have a healthy beautiful babygirl and I wouldn't change that for the world. Of course I was scared and at times I still am. My fiance is going to college and will be done around August-October. He works on the weekends and Spring-Summer I'm going to get a job but I can't right now because I still need to learn how to balance school and a baby. All you can do is pray that everything will be alright. No matter how much money you have your baby will still love you. Babies don't know material value, all they know how to do is love (and poop, cry and eat) You'll figure it out, moms always do! Just enjoy your pregnancy because before you know it, your baby will be here. Trust me, I wasn't ready for my pregnancy to be over, and I was actually sad. That was something I didn't expect. Stressing over this won't make things better. Good luck with everything and be glad you have support. Some people don't have anything!

Telucero February 2nd, 2006 10:53 PM

First of all, have you told your bf? If so, what does he think? I am 25 and got pregnant (unplanned) two weeks after we got engaged. My fiance and I are working things out financially. At this point, he is extremely excited. My family, however, is terrified. Except for my mother and her side of the family...they have all been extremely supportive, as well as my friends. If you decide to keep your child just remember only keep people around who are positive. Do not let anyone be negative about your pregnancy. You are bringing a new life into the world, it's a beautiful thing. This is your decision. Whatever your decision is, don't let anyone judge you for it. Everything has a way of working itself out. I was devastated when I looked at my positive hpt, but now I cant stop baby shopping. Like you, I had always planned on finding love, getting married, then deciding when I wanted to have children. Sometimes, the plan doesn't work out. Having a great support system definitely has made a big difference. Good luck. Keep us posted.

brigitte February 3rd, 2006 06:49 AM

Hey sweetie,
Well Congrats on the new soon to be addition to your little family!! How wonderful!

Trust me, it's totally normal to feel scared. Even parents who are wealthy get scared! It's very overwhelming becoming a parent. Even now, at 5 1/2 months preggers, I still get moments of fear.

So hang in there! It's ok to be scared!! In fact it's good because it shows how much you care about your little one's wellbeing! You'll be just fine! Think of all those people who have like 4 kids and both parents don't work...they still manage. So you'll be just fine. Wait until you hit about 12-16 weeks of your pregnancy when everything becomes more tangible...It'll melt your heart when you feel him/her kick, when you see baby on the u/s for the first time...snif snif....it's so beautiful!!! And all sooooo worth all the morning sickness, and weight gain in the world!!!

Good luck and keep us posted!!!

MirandasMommy February 3rd, 2006 11:47 AM

Hey Girl! Congrats!!!
I know EXACTLY how you feel trust me. I'm 20, a full time college student, and just found out that my fiance and I are expecting our first child. (I'll know how far along I am on Tuesday) I was a lot like you: I figured I would finish college, get married, and then have kids. But as you can tell that's not how it worked out, and I am scared ****less. My fiance has a good job, but we still pretty much live paycheck to paycheck right now. I worry that we won't have the money to provide for our child, but I know our family will help us if we get that bad. I'm disappointed that I will have to take a while off from college, but I know it will all be worth it. My fiance wanted me to have an abortion, but I have battled cervical cancer twice and I'm afraid that if I have one I will not be able to have kids later on.
Anyways, I just want you to know that I am just as scared as you are. My fiance and I have always been really "free" so to speak; no obligation, no responsibility other then ourselves. I don't know anything about babies, but I know it will all work out for us and for you! Hang in there.

pregnantandscared February 3rd, 2006 02:10 PM

hey girl. you will be just fine. i know how you are feeling. my sons father doesnt want him and my family has pretty much disowned me because i have decided to keep him. so now i am going about this on my own. i work full time and still live paycheck to paycheck, but i know i can make it work. (mainly i am only living paycheck to paycheck because of the doctor bills) i do know it will be hard, but i also know i can do it :P and i know you can do it too, if that is what you really want. it's all up to you. do what you feel in your heart is right. i wish you the best of luck.

Queenie06 February 4th, 2006 05:25 PM

Oh my god...I can't tell you how much all of the things you all have said to me make me feel!!!! I mean words can never explain - thank you all for being so supportive and not even knowing me ^_^ I know that i need to stop stressing out - b/c its bad for the baby. I just never thought that this was going to happen like this...But like they say everything happens for a reason. If I could just get over this hump I think that everything will be okay. I mean I'm a trooper. Again thank you all - I can hardly wait to go to the doctor and do my first ultra sound it will feel more real than. I'll keep everyone posted!

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